Douglas E. Berry

Hey, do y'all remember the Takata airbag scandal? Where Japanese manufacturer Takata used unsafe accelerants in their airbags, then fake test results, resulting in multiple deaths when the inflation mechanism acted more like a Claymore mine than a safety device?

Remember that? It was a big deal when, on May 18, 2015, a recall notice was issued for some 32 million inflators on vehicles for many automakers, including BMW, Fiat Chrysler, Daimler, Ford, General Motors, Honda, Mazda, Mitsubishi, Nissan, Subaru, and Toyota.

I mention this because I have to take Tuesday morning off so I can drop Darby the Ford Ranger off at Capitol Expressway Ford to get the driver's side airbag* replaced. 7 years, 4 months, and 17 days after this urgent recall due to a defect that had already killed at least nine people was announced.

Aside from wishing that Takata executives be forced to serve as crash-test dummies in cars equipped with their airbags for five years, I'm pissed that the automakers didn't jump on this and say "Holy fuck, people are driving around in our product with a known killer defect! Clear the decks, we're building a solution NOW and making sure our customers are safe!"

I can even blame Ford because every single automaker affected by this has had the same lackadaisical attitude. But they better wash my damn truck, that's all I'm saying.

*The passenger side airbag was replaced a few years ago.

I really missed my calling as a CMF 51 Logistics geek.

Today we attacked Burning Man planning head-on. We had a pile of stuff here at home, and I wanted a good inventory of what was here and in the storage unit. If we know what we have, we know what we need. My plan was to reduce the pile at home to things that will be needed immediately when we reach the Playa. These can be stored loose in the truck or in the trailer. Triaging things got detailed, down to the expiration dates of medications in our first aid kits. We're going to need refills.

For example, I have a Camelback hydration backpack. I usually keep things like my goggles and spare dust masks in there, along with a small first aid kit, a MOOP bag, and the like. I'm not going to need most of that until we've set up camp and I'm ready to explore. I will need a dust mask and goggles as soon as we get to Gate Road. So the Camelback goes into a box, and one mask and my goggles will be in the truck cab. My thought was immediate needs at hand, everything else packed.

With a small box of things to be boxed, we headed over to the storage unit, played Jenga with everything in there, and started an inventory. The box holding the shade structure was the easiest, as the bag for the structure takes up almost the entire box. It was then that I realized we really only had one other box (these are the big black storage boxes with yellow lids that have become ubiquitous over the last several years) and it was only partially filled. We did the inventory, pulling all the cookware for a thorough cleaning at home, and checked the expiration date on our camp food (we'll be eating Biscuits and Gravy through 2047), before carefully repacking to maximize space.

So we are only going to have two storage boxes going out. This makes loading Darby much easier, as I can put all the beer for camp dues and our sodas and the like in the trailer for balance. Coming home, as we inevitably have at least one filled 7-gallon water jug still filled, we can use that for weight. Since we are also porting out our garbage and normally get the camp's recycling, I could also move the lighter storage box there as well.

There are plenty of other things to consider in my load plan, three of the water jugs plus a 5-gallon Igloo cooler, a folding table, our camp kitchen, camp chairs, a 5-gallon gasoline jerry can, three collapsable bins, and our clothes for both the event and the drive home. But those are easier to fit in around the edges.

Now we just need the trailer drama to end.

Like I said, Infantry by training, S-4 officer at heart. Many thanks to kshandra for writing down the inventory in a legible hand and for a lot of the heavy lifting.

P.S. I really need to wear suspenders with these jeans.

We went back down to the storage place on Sunday, fully prepared for a battle with the battery and the stuck door. Well, the Beowulf surrendered. A jot of WD-40 loosened the lock enough that the door enough that we could open it. We had brought along our stepladder so I could take some pictures of the water damage to the roof of the trailer.

In the meantime, kshandra was going to work on the Marine battery. Turns out to have been much easier to undo the leads from the terminals that we had anticipated. Then came moving the battery into Darby's bed. Now this battery is heavy. In fact, its weight grew in the telling throughout the day. It probably weighs 75-80lbs.

I hurried to the truck cab to get my work gloves to held lift the battery, when there's a resounding THUD. Kirsten has already moved the battery. My wife is mighty! After that, there was just a little clean-up to do before we headed back north to do our weekly shopping. Once at home, the battery was moved to just inside the door, and I kicked back to follow the 49ers game.


The Free Trailer Beowulf has been listed for a fast sale to a local Burning Man group.

The expedition to Fremont and Half-Price Books has been successfully completed. As usual, we found books we wanted that ate half of the redemption value of what we brought in, but the main thing here was clearing shelf space of books we no longer wanted.

I picked up yet another history of Istanbul and an interesting-looking history of the Battle of Lepanto that examines the build-up and consequences of this, one of the pivotal battles in European history.

After leaving Fremont, we came back down to Santa Clara where we stopped at our Denny's for a late brunch, and then. . .

I DROVE HOME!

This is the first time since the first cataract surgery that I've driven Darby the Ford Ranger. I had no issues beyond the fact that I'm wearing glasses with a wildly outdated prescription. I'm still not going on the freeway until my new glasses are ordered and arrive, but knowing I can drive on surface streets is an immense relief and frankly, takes a huge burden off Kirsten.

For some time now Kirsten and I have been discussing getting a new mattress for our bed. The old one had been around for a long time, and let's face it, supporting a woman of Kirsten's size meant it was never going to be back in good condition again.

The problem is the cost. We live on the ragged edge of the lower middle class. A new mattress would cost the equivalent of one month's rent on Offhand Manor (which is a one-bedroom apartment about 500 feet from heavily used railroad tracks.) This would be a major outlay, and the old mattress still did its job.

At this point, I must mention Buy Nothing, a group Kirsten has come to swear by. It is what it says on the tin, a place where you can offer up anything for free, and usually get a taker very quickly. As a fan of decluttering, I'm both overjoyed at how it gets stuff out of the place and appalled and how quickly it brings stuff in.

Saturday evening Kiri spotted a post on the site. someone very close to us was offering a nearly-new queen-sized mattress with a memory foam topper. She leaped on it. And we waited. Which became an issue. As This Saturday marked the beginning of Santa Clara's Annual Cleanup Campaign, also known as make your street look like Berlin 1945 week. We had a solid deadline of 0700 this morning, May 3rd, to get items to the curb. Late dumping can get you a hefty fine.

So we waited. Finally, last night at around 2000hrs, we finally heard back. We could pick up the new mattress in the morning. Which left us in a dilemma. We still had to sleep, and the futon is not good for the two of us to get a restful night's sleep. I set an alarm for 0600 (half an hour before my usual alarm) so we could wrestle the old mattress to the curb.

Kirsten took me to work for my first shift. As that ended, she picks me up and I covered up my police shirt (we're not supposed to run errands in uniform, people confuse us for sworn LEOs all the time) and we rolled over to the pick up location. Where a second wrestling match results in the mattress lodged into Darby's bed, and bungee down best we could. Luckily, we were able to take low-traffic side streets almost all the way back.

One more episode of Man v. Mattress and the thing is on the bed. Victory! We even made the bed. Mostly.

In happier news, I was listening to Ozzy's Boneyard on SiriusXM as I ran my errands. I caught Anthrax's Caught in a Mosh as I hit the onramp to SR17S. The bass line hit just as I accelerated to warp speed.

Did you know a 2008 Ford Ranger can hit 85mph? The guy in the Porche I blew the doors off of looked pissed.

A busy day at Offhand Manor. We had several post-burn tasks to attend to. Because this damn thing never really ends.

First, we took all all the recycling to our local place. We're allowed to take all the cans from Rosie's Bar (the day bar we run as part of M*A*S*H 4207) home. That and our on recycling from both our personal consumption during Burning Man and the stuff that was at home got us $51.55. Not a bad payoff.

Next, we stopped in at Home Depot for a third 55-gallon storage box. These are the longer version of the now-ubiquitous black boxes with the yellow lid. We found that they are the perfect size to store horizontally in Darby's bed. Last year, we had two, dubbed the Sun and Moon boxes (holding our solar panel gear and our shade structure, respectively.) The third is the Earth box, holding not only all the kitchen gear but pretty much all our miscellaneous gear with room to spare.

This is going to make loading/unloading so much easier in terms of load planning and finding things. The Sun and Moon boxes will be practically empty after camp is set up, and can be used to set a borer for our space or stored under the trailer. The Earth box will have everything else. We also looked at an adjustable height folding table as a new place for our cooler. I like the idea as it would both isolate the cooler from the ground and make the task of draining meltwater into our garden watering can much easier.

As an aside, we can't just dump water on the playa. Clean water, like cooler melt, can be disposed of by sprinkling it over a large area. Being able to do this daily will again make our packing process that much easier. Graywater is another issue, and we mat make our own evaporator to deal with the liter or so of graywater we generate daily.

After escaping Home Deport, we went to kshandra's office/warehouse where our gear is stored in the offseason. There we two goals here: move items into their appropriate spaces and build an accurate inventory of what we had and where it was. Several items were coming home for cleaning, for example, or would be stored at home until it was time for loading. Having an accurate inventory makes life so much easier in the long run. Next spring, when we're starting to get ready, we can look at the inventory and know what we have already.

The work went we quickly, with a few breaks of course. I was really pleased that we could fit the bag containing our rolled-up camp table into the Earth box. My theory is the fewer things out in the open on the truck, the fewer things to worry about losing to a pothole bump or a thief.

Then Darby got a much-needed bath at Rotten Robbies. They recently installed a LaserWash 360 system and it works great. I was impressed, even the headache rack came out clean. There is still a mountain of mud in the truck bed, but I'll deal with that. Also, Darby's passenger seems to have a seal leak.

Finally, we had to go shopping. We cleaned out a lot of old food before we left, and the larder was rather bare. I avoid most of the impulse buys, and can I say I'll be happy when the IPA fad goes away?

One big piece of shocking news. We may be selling the Free Trailer Beowulf. We've decided that a purpose-built toy hauler or work trailer, with both a side door and a rear ramp would probably be better for our needs going forward. So if anyone is interested in a small teardrop trailer, or knows a potential customer, let us know!

We did this all today because tomorrow night we're seeing Metallica and the San Francisco Symphony tear down the Chase Center right after they finished building it.

OK, a 30 can case of beer masses about 25 lbs. We have four cases, so that gives us roughly 100 lbs of beer to transport.

12 packs mass roughly 10 lbs. We have three of those. Another 30 lbs.

One 20 pack of Diet Dr. Pepper, about 16.3 lbs.

The beer will go in the Free Trailer Beowulf. The rest of the soda will go into a storage box.

Then there's the water. Luckily, they are empty until Fernley, because our three 7 gallon containers will weigh around 189 lbs! My plan is to try to fit them in the trailer or find space in the truck bed. I just worried about putting too much weight in Beowulf forward of the axle.

Burning Man sucks. The logistics, however, make for fun calculations.

I should have been a staff officer.

Burning Man preparations continue apace. Today we did a task that should have been done last September. We washed the sleeping bags and the bed pillows. In the Free Trader Beowulf, we use the sleeping bags as both a base and a cover for cold nights. However, given how mild that nights have been the past few years, we're picking up a set of sheets at Big Lots and binging lighter blankets. But the sleeping bags and pillows needed to be clean, because this will be the year temperatures drop below freezing at night.

Since we were going to Oasis to use the big load machines anyway, kshandra decided to attack a pile of laundry that had been accumulating in a corner. Along with every else, we pretty much filled Darby. We made two quick stops, the bank for $80 in quarters (!) and Kirsten ran in into Safeway for more laundry pods and some lunch.

As an aside, I'm loving Liquid Metal on SiriusXM. A great mix of classic metal and newer bands.

We get to Oasis, haul all our crap in, and start the action. Long story short, everything for the Playa is done and bagged and will be tossed in the Beowulf next time we go down to fiddle, and Kirsten is taking a nap before tackling her mountain of clean clothes. She has promised to triage every item in an effort to reduce clutter.

Now, the insurance morons. Last January I started a Medicare Advantage plan, and my coverage was sold to some company I've never heard from. My insurance is still through Anthem Blue Cross, but these people keep sending me mail. Which, recently, has been a series of denied claims going back long before I got my new insurance.

I'm mean, the surgery I had in 2015. Pretty much every blood draw I had as part of my Dilantin checks. All of which was covered by MediCal! Needless to say, I shall be calling them Monday morning.

Ah, the long, lazy days of summer. Except not. In the next four weeks, I have to:

Transition to a new blood thinner.

Get all the prep work for both Worldcon and Burning Man done.

Get in for a medical exam and two orientations for the crossing guard job.

Take part in at least three online meetings for Worldcon Publications and Newsletter.

Do all the laundry.

Pack for Worldcon.

Pack for the Playa.

Do last-minute work on the Free Trailer Beowulf

Attend and work the 76th World Science Fiction Convention (August 16th-20th, although I'll probably be on-site working newsletter on the 15th.)

Spend the next three days after the con making sure our pallet is properly loaded and moving things like clothes into the trailer.

Getting Darby an oil change and a good washing.

Load Darby and Beowulf. Final gas top off.

Go to Burning Man.

A busy couple of weeks. The part that drives me nuts is waiting for the city to move the wheels on my crossing guard application. As I was telling Kirsten last night, in the Army I would have been handed a stack of papers and told: "Go to building 14 for your medical, then report to headquarters for your orientation." Since I'm motivated to get this done, I'd move out at a range walk.