Douglas E. Berry

Ah, the time we accidentally loaded the truck. . .

2022-12-31T03:03:25Z

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Because I enjoyed driving around with a cannister round pointed at my vitals.

2022-10-03T00:38:16Z

Hey, do y'all remember the Takata airbag scandal? Where Japanese manufacturer Takata used unsafe accelerants in their airbags, then fake test results, resulting in multiple deaths when the inflation mechanism acted more like a Claymore mine than a safety device?

Remember that? It was a big deal when, on May 18, 2015, a recall notice was issued for some 32 million inflators on vehicles for many automakers, including BMW, Fiat Chrysler, Daimler, Ford, General Motors, Honda, Mazda, Mitsubishi, Nissan, Subaru, and Toyota.

I mention this because I have to take Tuesday morning off so I can drop Darby the Ford Ranger off at Capitol Expressway Ford to get the driver's side airbag* replaced. 7 years, 4 months, and 17 days after this urgent recall due to a defect that had already killed at least nine people was announced.

Aside from wishing that Takata executives be forced to serve as crash-test dummies in cars equipped with their airbags for five years, I'm pissed that the automakers didn't jump on this and say "Holy fuck, people are driving around in our product with a known killer defect! Clear the decks, we're building a solution NOW and making sure our customers are safe!"

I can even blame Ford because every single automaker affected by this has had the same lackadaisical attitude. But they better wash my damn truck, that's all I'm saying.

*The passenger side airbag was replaced a few years ago.

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Reflections on a Burning Man - 2022.

2022-09-12T02:53:46Z

This year was hard. After a two-year hiatus, everyone was rusty and bad at things. As kshandra said, this was the year we brought too much and forgot everything. She's not wrong. We, for example, totally failed to plan for lunch. Breakfast and dinner were covered, but I needed small things to snack on throughout the day to keep my blood sugar and energy levels up. We already have several good plans for next year.

I am both ashamed and angry at my physical failings. My low blood pressure led to constant issues with browning out when I stood. I am physically weak, and could not help out with camp duties. That will change. I'm going to see my doctor about the blood pressure issue, and I am committed to being in better shape next year so I can contribute! I'm also going to fill out volunteer forms for the departments I can do, like BMIR (the official radio station,) Box Office, or Earth Guardians.

I want to be better. I want to carry my share of the load. Everyone who knows me understands that I am determined to do my part.

But many thanks to my campmates who helped me through this hard week. Even to the point of walking me to the porta-potty bank (hereafter referred to as the "jots") and making sure I was OK. They also fed me. So, onto the breakdown!

( Friday, August 26th )

( Saturday, August 27th )

( Sunday, August 28th )

( Monday, August 29th )

( Tuesday, August 30th )

( Wednesday, August 31st )

( Thursday, September 1st )

( Friday, September 2nd )

( Saturday, September 3rd )

( Sunday, September 4th )

( Monday, September 5th - Tuesday, September 6th )

Well, that's it. I took very few pictures, as this was an amazingly hard year.

See y'all next year in the dust!

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By day, I was a Crossing Guard, but by night, I was a. . . STAFF OFFICER!

2022-05-14T21:29:37Z

I really missed my calling as a CMF 51 Logistics geek.

Today we attacked Burning Man planning head-on. We had a pile of stuff here at home, and I wanted a good inventory of what was here and in the storage unit. If we know what we have, we know what we need. My plan was to reduce the pile at home to things that will be needed immediately when we reach the Playa. These can be stored loose in the truck or in the trailer. Triaging things got detailed, down to the expiration dates of medications in our first aid kits. We're going to need refills.

For example, I have a Camelback hydration backpack. I usually keep things like my goggles and spare dust masks in there, along with a small first aid kit, a MOOP bag, and the like. I'm not going to need most of that until we've set up camp and I'm ready to explore. I will need a dust mask and goggles as soon as we get to Gate Road. So the Camelback goes into a box, and one mask and my goggles will be in the truck cab. My thought was immediate needs at hand, everything else packed.

With a small box of things to be boxed, we headed over to the storage unit, played Jenga with everything in there, and started an inventory. The box holding the shade structure was the easiest, as the bag for the structure takes up almost the entire box. It was then that I realized we really only had one other box (these are the big black storage boxes with yellow lids that have become ubiquitous over the last several years) and it was only partially filled. We did the inventory, pulling all the cookware for a thorough cleaning at home, and checked the expiration date on our camp food (we'll be eating Biscuits and Gravy through 2047), before carefully repacking to maximize space.

So we are only going to have two storage boxes going out. This makes loading Darby much easier, as I can put all the beer for camp dues and our sodas and the like in the trailer for balance. Coming home, as we inevitably have at least one filled 7-gallon water jug still filled, we can use that for weight. Since we are also porting out our garbage and normally get the camp's recycling, I could also move the lighter storage box there as well.

There are plenty of other things to consider in my load plan, three of the water jugs plus a 5-gallon Igloo cooler, a folding table, our camp kitchen, camp chairs, a 5-gallon gasoline jerry can, three collapsable bins, and our clothes for both the event and the drive home. But those are easier to fit in around the edges.

Now we just need the trailer drama to end.

Like I said, Infantry by training, S-4 officer at heart. Many thanks to kshandra for writing down the inventory in a legible hand and for a lot of the heavy lifting.

P.S. I really need to wear suspenders with these jeans.

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Breaking the Beowulf, Part 3

2022-01-22T21:25:33Z

And just like that, it's gone.

After not getting much response from local Burner groups, kshandra bit the bullet and put the Beowulf up on Facebook Marketplace. Along with the usual cast of idiots, we got three serious inquiries and arranged to meet with them in a supermarket parking lot.

We got there in plenty of time, and the first potential buyer messages they were walking over. Wait, what? You're buying a thousand-pound trailer. We're ready to hand it over right now. But our worries disappeared when we saw that the buyers were in fact a family with three very small kids. They loved the trailer were agreed to the price. Their issue was that while their SUV had a hitch receiver, they hadn't bought a ball hitch yet. We were more than happy to deliver the trailer.

After showing how the various hitch pieces worked, money was exchanged, and we headed to AAA for the title exchange. It was all easy as hell. The Beowulf is not ours anymore and is off our insurance. As a bonus, we noticed that this same shopping center where AAA was located also was home to an Outdoor Supply Hardware store! Successor to the much-missed Orchard Supply, we walked and remarked that it smelled like an OSH. We wandered around, failed again to get a spare key made for Darby, found a fire extinguisher for the new trailer, and headed home.

Tomorrow we need to run back down to the sellers and drop off the solar panels we forgot to get out of storage. Then prep for the new trailer begins in earnest.

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Breaking the Beowulf, Part 2.

2022-01-12T00:16:13Z

We went back down to the storage place on Sunday, fully prepared for a battle with the battery and the stuck door. Well, the Beowulf surrendered. A jot of WD-40 loosened the lock enough that the door enough that we could open it. We had brought along our stepladder so I could take some pictures of the water damage to the roof of the trailer.

In the meantime, kshandra was going to work on the Marine battery. Turns out to have been much easier to undo the leads from the terminals that we had anticipated. Then came moving the battery into Darby's bed. Now this battery is heavy. In fact, its weight grew in the telling throughout the day. It probably weighs 75-80lbs.

I hurried to the truck cab to get my work gloves to held lift the battery, when there's a resounding THUD. Kirsten has already moved the battery. My wife is mighty! After that, there was just a little clean-up to do before we headed back north to do our weekly shopping. Once at home, the battery was moved to just inside the door, and I kicked back to follow the 49ers game.

The Free Trailer Beowulf has been listed for a fast sale to a local Burning Man group.

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Breaking the Beowulf, Part 1.

2022-01-08T20:06:58Z

This morning kshandra and I ventured down to the RV storage place to begin the process of stripping what we want from the Free Trailer Beowulf prior to us getting rid of it pending the new trailer's arrival.

We of course forgot the tools we needed to get the deep-cycle marine battery out. We also found that our latest attempt to tarp over the trailer was as futile as the others. But we did get the verdammt door open after a healthy dose of WD-40 was squirted into the works. Inside was a pile of stuff, but not the socket set we were hoping for nor were our two crowbars were in sight. This is confusing.

But we did get a couple of sleeping bags and pillows, the hitch dolly we use to maneuver the trailer when we don't trust our ability to back up, the trickle charger for the battery, and the three collapsable containers we use on-Playa for trash, recycling, and laundry.

As the inside seems to be quite dry, we just pulled down the tarp and stuffed it in the trailer. The rachet straps came home with us. Tomorrow we go back over for the battery, which is going to be a heavy bitch to move.

One other thing of note. When we were just shy of reaching Pedron's Storage, I got the low tire pressure warning. We stopped into a gas station after doing our work and found that all four tires were just a little low. It was like $1.75 for the air, but we got all four back up to the recommended pressure. You never want to drive with under-inflated tires!

So now we're chilling clearing out the Playa corner in Offhand Manor and unloading the truck.

We will start posting pictures and an asking sale price sometime tomorrow.

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New books for old, and a recovery milestone

2021-10-17T19:55:13Z

The expedition to Fremont and Half-Price Books has been successfully completed. As usual, we found books we wanted that ate half of the redemption value of what we brought in, but the main thing here was clearing shelf space of books we no longer wanted.

I picked up yet another history of Istanbul and an interesting-looking history of the Battle of Lepanto that examines the build-up and consequences of this, one of the pivotal battles in European history.

After leaving Fremont, we came back down to Santa Clara where we stopped at our Denny's for a late brunch, and then. . .

I DROVE HOME!

This is the first time since the first cataract surgery that I've driven Darby the Ford Ranger. I had no issues beyond the fact that I'm wearing glasses with a wildly outdated prescription. I'm still not going on the freeway until my new glasses are ordered and arrive, but knowing I can drive on surface streets is an immense relief and frankly, takes a huge burden off Kirsten.

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My truck is an awesome truck.

2021-06-04T21:55:42Z

Had two errands to run today, the first was dropping off my last timecard of the school year at the station with a whopping six hours on it.

Then I took Darby the Ford Ranger over to Precision Tune Auto Care for his 60,000 mile service. I love my little white truck and want to keep him for as long as possible.

They were short-handed, so the "courtesy shuttle" ended up be me driving home with the manager. Got picked up the same way. It was nice, as we had a chance to talk about any issue I've been having. I like these people, they're good, efficient, and honest.

About two hours after I left Darby with them, I got a call. They were suggesting that my sparkplugs and wiring should be replaced. As I was still on the original set Darby came with, this made sense. Expensive, but it made sense. This is why we have an emergency credit card.

After picking up Darby, and making a run to Rite Aide because -miracle of miracles - my Xarelto was in stock when I put the refill order in this morning (usually I have to wait a business day or two as it's an expensive item that they don't stock a lot of) I decided that Darby really needed a bath and I needed an excuse to just drive for a little while. Our preferred car wash is the Rotten Robbie near kshandra's office. $13 for a touchless, quite thorough was, wax, and dry.

Back home and chilling in anticipation of Payday Pizza. A hallowed tradition here at Offhand Manor.

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Ah, the joys of being an adult.

2021-05-03T19:50:39Z

For some time now Kirsten and I have been discussing getting a new mattress for our bed. The old one had been around for a long time, and let's face it, supporting a woman of Kirsten's size meant it was never going to be back in good condition again.

The problem is the cost. We live on the ragged edge of the lower middle class. A new mattress would cost the equivalent of one month's rent on Offhand Manor (which is a one-bedroom apartment about 500 feet from heavily used railroad tracks.) This would be a major outlay, and the old mattress still did its job.

At this point, I must mention Buy Nothing, a group Kirsten has come to swear by. It is what it says on the tin, a place where you can offer up anything for free, and usually get a taker very quickly. As a fan of decluttering, I'm both overjoyed at how it gets stuff out of the place and appalled and how quickly it brings stuff in.

Saturday evening Kiri spotted a post on the site. someone very close to us was offering a nearly-new queen-sized mattress with a memory foam topper. She leaped on it. And we waited. Which became an issue. As This Saturday marked the beginning of Santa Clara's Annual Cleanup Campaign, also known as make your street look like Berlin 1945 week. We had a solid deadline of 0700 this morning, May 3rd, to get items to the curb. Late dumping can get you a hefty fine.

So we waited. Finally, last night at around 2000hrs, we finally heard back. We could pick up the new mattress in the morning. Which left us in a dilemma. We still had to sleep, and the futon is not good for the two of us to get a restful night's sleep. I set an alarm for 0600 (half an hour before my usual alarm) so we could wrestle the old mattress to the curb.

Kirsten took me to work for my first shift. As that ended, she picks me up and I covered up my police shirt (we're not supposed to run errands in uniform, people confuse us for sworn LEOs all the time) and we rolled over to the pick up location. Where a second wrestling match results in the mattress lodged into Darby's bed, and bungee down best we could. Luckily, we were able to take low-traffic side streets almost all the way back.

One more episode of Man v. Mattress and the thing is on the bed. Victory! We even made the bed. Mostly.

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That was rough

2021-02-06T20:24:09Z

Since this whole epic with my eyes started I've spent most of my time at home, emerging only for doctor's appointments and not driving at all due to the issues with my sight. The surge in my county's COVID-19 cases also was a factor in keeping me indoors. Better safe than dying gasping for air, I always say.

Today, we had to do a couple of things, and I decided to go along. The initial plan was for me to try to drive, but I decided my vision was still nowhere good enough for that. So kshandra drove Darby as we first took the recycling over to Danny's Recycling, went to Rite Aid to pick up a couple of prescriptions, and then to Safeway for the weekly shopping. Doesn't sound too hard, right?

By a third of the way through Safeway, I was holding onto Kirsten for support. I was exhausted, frazzled, and really, really feeling the fact that yes, I am a disabled person. I couldn't fucking see. I was overstimulated. I have been really bad about walking, so my legs were stiff and painful. I was mostly aphasic for much of the trip. Words were very hard to come by.

I'm much better now that I'm home, still physically drained but at least my mind is more at ease sitting in a familiar place. I can't do much about the lockdown and not wanting to be exposed to the virus, but the one thing I can do is get my steps in every day.

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Scott Ian is my co-pilot

2020-07-07T23:32:33Z

In happier news, I was listening to Ozzy's Boneyard on SiriusXM as I ran my errands. I caught Anthrax's Caught in a Mosh as I hit the onramp to SR17S. The bass line hit just as I accelerated to warp speed.

Did you know a 2008 Ford Ranger can hit 85mph? The guy in the Porche I blew the doors off of looked pissed.

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Tonight there's going to be a jailbreak. . .

2020-05-12T19:56:33Z

Or, at least, a momentary break from life at Offhand Manor during the siege.

There were several errands that needed to be done. We were out of taco seasoning, Darby needed to be filled, a couple of things had to go into the post, and I had a prescription to pick up. Now, there was a perfectly logical way to line those errands up. One that, given my years of trip-setting experience as both a driver and a dispatcher, you would think I would have taken.

Fuck that. I took the long way. This will only make sense to locals, but from Costco where I filled up, I headed east to 880 North, to 101 North, all the way to Lawerence Expressway. From there I dropped down to El Camino Real where all my destinations lay waiting.

I skipped the bank because the line literally wrapped around the building. I couldn't find the mailbox that was supposedly in the same shopping center as my pharmacy, which was annoying. Got in and out of Rite Aid quickly. At Smart&Final I found the last jar of taco seasoning and gave into temptation and bought a 30-pack of Budweiser. I like it, and it's a good beer on a hot summer day. I really am not in the mood to hear from beer snobs on this, OK?

Which left the mail. Luckily, there is a mail processing station not too far from us and they have a mailbox. I'll try again tomorrow for the laundry quarters. Also, Darby needs a bath, badly.

About 16 miles and lots of time to listen to SiriusXM's Liquid Metal and just be outside. I also had a fun conversation about legalized weed with a nice lady that mortified her kid.

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One Burning Man ends, and another begins. It is the circle of dust.

2019-09-08T00:30:35Z

A busy day at Offhand Manor. We had several post-burn tasks to attend to. Because this damn thing never really ends.

First, we took all all the recycling to our local place. We're allowed to take all the cans from Rosie's Bar (the day bar we run as part of M*A*S*H 4207) home. That and our on recycling from both our personal consumption during Burning Man and the stuff that was at home got us $51.55. Not a bad payoff.

Next, we stopped in at Home Depot for a third 55-gallon storage box. These are the longer version of the now-ubiquitous black boxes with the yellow lid. We found that they are the perfect size to store horizontally in Darby's bed. Last year, we had two, dubbed the Sun and Moon boxes (holding our solar panel gear and our shade structure, respectively.) The third is the Earth box, holding not only all the kitchen gear but pretty much all our miscellaneous gear with room to spare.

This is going to make loading/unloading so much easier in terms of load planning and finding things. The Sun and Moon boxes will be practically empty after camp is set up, and can be used to set a borer for our space or stored under the trailer. The Earth box will have everything else. We also looked at an adjustable height folding table as a new place for our cooler. I like the idea as it would both isolate the cooler from the ground and make the task of draining meltwater into our garden watering can much easier.

As an aside, we can't just dump water on the playa. Clean water, like cooler melt, can be disposed of by sprinkling it over a large area. Being able to do this daily will again make our packing process that much easier. Graywater is another issue, and we mat make our own evaporator to deal with the liter or so of graywater we generate daily.

After escaping Home Deport, we went to kshandra's office/warehouse where our gear is stored in the offseason. There we two goals here: move items into their appropriate spaces and build an accurate inventory of what we had and where it was. Several items were coming home for cleaning, for example, or would be stored at home until it was time for loading. Having an accurate inventory makes life so much easier in the long run. Next spring, when we're starting to get ready, we can look at the inventory and know what we have already.

The work went we quickly, with a few breaks of course. I was really pleased that we could fit the bag containing our rolled-up camp table into the Earth box. My theory is the fewer things out in the open on the truck, the fewer things to worry about losing to a pothole bump or a thief.

Then Darby got a much-needed bath at Rotten Robbies. They recently installed a LaserWash 360 system and it works great. I was impressed, even the headache rack came out clean. There is still a mountain of mud in the truck bed, but I'll deal with that. Also, Darby's passenger seems to have a seal leak.

Finally, we had to go shopping. We cleaned out a lot of old food before we left, and the larder was rather bare. I avoid most of the impulse buys, and can I say I'll be happy when the IPA fad goes away?

One big piece of shocking news. We may be selling the Free Trailer Beowulf. We've decided that a purpose-built toy hauler or work trailer, with both a side door and a rear ramp would probably be better for our needs going forward. So if anyone is interested in a small teardrop trailer, or knows a potential customer, let us know!

We did this all today because tomorrow night we're seeing Metallica and the San Francisco Symphony tear down the Chase Center right after they finished building it.

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T minus four days

2019-08-18T22:37:17Z

Alright, almost all the stuff that needs to go in the Free Trailer Beowulf is there (as always, we missed one bag and there's always last minute stuff to deal with.)

We have a pretty complete bag of things that will be in the cab with us on the drive up. Snacks, things we'll need right as we start to set up, things like that.

Finally, all the material that needs to be loaded into Darby are ready and waiting and Kirsten's warehouse. The current plan is to load Darby Thursday afternoon after I finish my shift, park it loaded, then get an early start Friday morning to pick up the trailer and head out!

Still to be loaded, the telescope we were loaned, my Yugoslavian greatcoat, all the perishables, and the last round of "oh, shit, we need this" stuff.

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The Cold (Beer) Equations

2019-08-17T01:49:30Z

OK, a 30 can case of beer masses about 25 lbs. We have four cases, so that gives us roughly 100 lbs of beer to transport.

12 packs mass roughly 10 lbs. We have three of those. Another 30 lbs.

One 20 pack of Diet Dr. Pepper, about 16.3 lbs.

The beer will go in the Free Trailer Beowulf. The rest of the soda will go into a storage box.

Then there's the water. Luckily, they are empty until Fernley, because our three 7 gallon containers will weigh around 189 lbs! My plan is to try to fit them in the trailer or find space in the truck bed. I just worried about putting too much weight in Beowulf forward of the axle.

Burning Man sucks. The logistics, however, make for fun calculations.

I should have been a staff officer.

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More staff work for Burning Man!

2019-08-04T00:23:56Z

We are getting closer!

Went out and did some needed shopping for both the Burn and for life. First stop was REI, where the plan was to buy hiking socks, but Kirsten realized we could get a much better deal at Steven's Creek Surplus. Then to Five Guys for lunch (yum!) and BevMo. We have finished purchasing the fluid portions of our camp dues. Also, I found that Pabst makes a nonalcoholic beer. This will help on the days I'm hanging around camp doing my carnival barker/storyteller routine, as Rosie's Bar serves PBR. My cans won't be a perfect match, but they'll at least fit with the theme.

On to the Omaha Steak store. Good thing we decided to eat first, or we would have bought a cow in pieces.What we were after their tender steak bites, and grabbed one of each flavor: Original, Teryaki, and Peppercorn. I'm thinking these will be good noms in line. But seriously, we could have broken the bank there. Back in the car, and after a fueling stop, we hit Harbor Freight. We had coupons for a single-piece tarp to cover the Free Trailer Beowulf when it is in storage and for a strong stepstool to replace the plastic one currently in use. I had nightmares about that stool breaking and one of us bleeding out on Playa. Also grabbed a grommet set and a couple of ball stretch cord sets, as Kiri has plans for securing our shade structure.

Added to the deal, two free LED lights! Always useful. But we had one more . . . no, two . . . make that three stops. The aforementioned surplus store where I found a six-pack of good walking socks (which will be good for both Burning Man and my job) and a new t-shirt and tank top, both with ARMY on them. This both fits the theme of the camp, and I can wear them for gym visits.

Getting tired now, but we circled around to the big & tall store, because Kiri needs more tank tops herself, and then to pick up a hanging shoe box rack thing Kiri found on a local sharing board.

At REI I also picked up a new insulated water bottle for work and a little 65mlbottle of Habanero sauce. Because all food is edible with enough heat!

So, what's left? There's still some more food to be precooked and vacuum-sealed, We need to get everything going into the trailer into the trailer, and I still need to get my greatcoat cleaned. One more bit of news, a headache rack has been ordered for Darby.

The Man burns in 28 days.

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All. The. Laundry. With bonus insurance idiocy.

2019-07-20T22:33:56Z

Burning Man preparations continue apace. Today we did a task that should have been done last September. We washed the sleeping bags and the bed pillows. In the Free Trader Beowulf, we use the sleeping bags as both a base and a cover for cold nights. However, given how mild that nights have been the past few years, we're picking up a set of sheets at Big Lots and binging lighter blankets. But the sleeping bags and pillows needed to be clean, because this will be the year temperatures drop below freezing at night.

Since we were going to Oasis to use the big load machines anyway, kshandra decided to attack a pile of laundry that had been accumulating in a corner. Along with every else, we pretty much filled Darby. We made two quick stops, the bank for $80 in quarters (!) and Kirsten ran in into Safeway for more laundry pods and some lunch.

As an aside, I'm loving Liquid Metal on SiriusXM. A great mix of classic metal and newer bands.

We get to Oasis, haul all our crap in, and start the action. Long story short, everything for the Playa is done and bagged and will be tossed in the Beowulf next time we go down to fiddle, and Kirsten is taking a nap before tackling her mountain of clean clothes. She has promised to triage every item in an effort to reduce clutter.

Now, the insurance morons. Last January I started a Medicare Advantage plan, and my coverage was sold to some company I've never heard from. My insurance is still through Anthem Blue Cross, but these people keep sending me mail. Which, recently, has been a series of denied claims going back long before I got my new insurance.

I'm mean, the surgery I had in 2015. Pretty much every blood draw I had as part of my Dilantin checks. All of which was covered by MediCal! Needless to say, I shall be calling them Monday morning.

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Thrilling Staff Officer Tales!

2019-07-13T22:52:57Z

I seriously missed my calling. Had I ever had a shot at West Point (ha) I would have ended up in Supply or Transportation. Because I obsessively organize things. Today was a good example.

Kirsten had the brilliant idea of picking two longer versions of the black box/yellow lid containers we already use for Burning Man to hold our solar panels and the bag holding all the shade structure gear. I had the equally brilliant idea of using excess space in those boxes to consolidate crap from the two (actually three, but more about that later) standard boxes we already had loaded.

With a little fiddling, we turned one box into the complete, and all the kitchen gear kitchen box, holding the camp stove, our spice rack, and all the pots and pans and kitchen tools plus the bad holding all our freeze-dried camp food. We still have a tone of biscuits and gravy pouches, if anyone wants one. Or four.

That being done, it was easy to pack almost all the remaining gear into the box with the solar panels - dubbed the Sun Box by Kirsten - and the shade structure box - now the Moon Box, and I asked for a Lunar Moon rune to be drawn - with some space to spare. The nice thing is our vamp build plan, also written by yours truly, has the shade structure and solar panels being high on the list, and they are both at the top of their respective boxes.

We also decided that a few things that would be riding in the trailer should go to the trailer now. Our three 7-gallon water jugs were the big item here. Our two 5-gallon gas cans are now sitting in an empty, lidless box. The rule is that gas containers need to be in a "trap" and elevated from the ground. We have that covered.

There are still a few loose items that don't fit in the boxes. Our cam chairs, the propane cannister, the camp kitchen itself and the table. But they fit nicely in the spaces between the containers and our Coleman cooler.

While there's still a lot to work on, we can say that everything on that pallet is ready to be loaded onto Darby. What's left is consumables, clothing, and the contents of a box we dropped in back of the apartment and forgot was there. Ah, well. It's not much, and we can inventory it so when we do this the week before departure, we'll know exactly where everything goes. I'm too fried to update the packing list today, I'll do it tomorrow.

And I found my Yugoslavian greatcoat! A trip to the dry cleaner is in order.

Today also marked my first day wearing my kilt! Apologies for the blinding white legs.

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So, it's August.

2018-08-01T19:40:22Z

Ah, the long, lazy days of summer. Except not. In the next four weeks, I have to:

Transition to a new blood thinner.

Get all the prep work for both Worldcon and Burning Man done.

Get in for a medical exam and two orientations for the crossing guard job.

Take part in at least three online meetings for Worldcon Publications and Newsletter.

Do all the laundry.

Pack for Worldcon.

Pack for the Playa.

Do last-minute work on the Free Trailer Beowulf

Attend and work the 76th World Science Fiction Convention (August 16th-20th, although I'll probably be on-site working newsletter on the 15th.)

Spend the next three days after the con making sure our pallet is properly loaded and moving things like clothes into the trailer.

Getting Darby an oil change and a good washing.

Load Darby and Beowulf. Final gas top off.

Go to Burning Man.

A busy couple of weeks. The part that drives me nuts is waiting for the city to move the wheels on my crossing guard application. As I was telling Kirsten last night, in the Army I would have been handed a stack of papers and told: "Go to building 14 for your medical, then report to headquarters for your orientation." Since I'm motivated to get this done, I'd move out at a range walk.

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A Nice New Coat for the Free Trailer Beowulf.

2018-04-22T23:04:40Z

Who needs a house to dump money into? We have a trailer! The latest epic round of repairs began when we notice that the seal around the roof vent was leaking, Badly. Since this trailer was built as a shop project, we kind of expect this sort of thing to crop up. But water getting into the trailer only leads to more mold problems, and those suck up even more time, money, and elbow grease.

After doing some very basic research, we found a couple of prospective fixes for roof sealants. We just weren't overly comfortable undertaking the task ourselves with zero experience. So another round of searches for someone, preferably with small RV experience and Burner-friendly, to do at least the lion's share of the work ensued.

I'm going to divulge a bit here. When someone sends up a rocket on social media saying "help! I need advice and assistance on Topic A!" the absolute worst thing you can do is come back with a reply that does nothing to address the issue being asked about, but instead is a post about how important Topic B is. Because right now we are dealing with Topic A. For all you know, the world expert in Topic B lives next to us and has us covered. Because there is nothing more annoying than having such an appeal for help redirected like that.

Back to the Free Trailer Beowulf. Kirsten hauled the FTB from its home in South San Jose to her office, the really cool roofing guy came, and the job got done. Mostly. He covered the root top from panel seam to panel seam. What he suggested was that we buy a gallon of this glop from him for near wholesale, and finish off the front and rear of the teardrop roof.

That's what we did this weekend. The weather was great, and we put a couple of coats on front and back. Doing this involved pulling the old reflectors off and Goo Gone-ing the hell out of the adhesive. We also had to cover up the Imperial Man stencil and the red stripe. But we're happy about that. We know now how to better apply the stencils to get a cleaner man image. And the stripe? Well, about that . . . we thought we had a straight, even line around the trailer. Turns out it was quite canted. Plus, we weren't overly happy with the reflective overcoat we used. It showed no real ability to reflect light.

Which means we're going to clean and repaint the trailer sides and redo the straight red stripe so it's level compared to the base of the trailer. What I want to do is pick up some rectangular red reflectors and place them in the rear stripe for a cooler road effect. We'll also be re-doing the "Free Trailer Beowulf" markings, making them slightly larger and placing the words "Free Trailer" above the stripe, and "Beowulf" below, in a larger font. People like the name, so let's fly it proudly!

Other than that, there are only a few things left to do. I want to better secure the trailer's license plate, come up with a target on the front of the trailer for better aim when backing up to the trailer for a hook-up. We'll probably just pick up a set of magnetic hitch aligners, which do the same thing. I would really like to get a vent cover for the roof vent to cut down on dust and as an additional rain shield.

The big project for next year is replacing the trailer door. That thing is a kludge and it shows. Kirsten just replaced the shoddy lock with one that can be locked from the inside. But still, we need to even out the arched entry, clean up all the bits and pieces that make up this door and entry, and built something more reliable.

Lastly, and I have no idea where I'm finding the money for this, a headache rack for the truck. You see these things on contractor trucks that don't have the full four post racks. At its simplest, it is a set of bars or a screen that stops your cargo from coming through the back window of your truck in a sudden brake scenario. Truck drivers are extremely aware of Newton's First Law of Motion. Despite all our careful stacking, bungee-cording, and use of our tiedown points, there is always the chance that something will be unsecured and fly forward.

Part of this is paranoia a trait that severed me well as a commercial driver who did here six tons of cargo slam into the metal divider between my compartment and crushing death more than once. Part of it is it offers more options for tying down cargo in the bed and a place to mount a work light if needed. Part of it is they just look cool.

Speaking of cool, I also want a backup alarm . . . beep! beep! beep!

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Halford fucking wept.

2018-04-19T17:38:22Z

I own a 2008 Ford Ranger. This is one of the millions of cars and trucks affected by the Takata airbag scandal. In short, a Japanese contractor cut every corner possible, faked test results, a delivered millions of fatally flawed passenger side airbag systems to multiple car makers.

The first recall notification came to use a few years ago. It said to wait for a notice that replacement parts were available. We waited. Then another notice arrives telling us that my passenger seat is a spikey deathtrap, and under no circumstances should anyone ever sit in it! Darby the Ranger is our main car these days, and the car we drive to Burning Man. So unless Ford is going to loan me a F-150 for the duration, no.

Finally, in yesterday's mail, there comes a letter stating that our long national airbag nightmare is over. Parts are available! Call your dealership! With Google calendar open, ready to make the date, I call to schedule a replacement that's been needed for close to six years.

They're out of parts. For fuck's sake, who is running this whorehouse? I'm not blaming Capitol Ford, or Ford itself, they are as much a victim of Takata as I am, but you think that someone in a corner office in Dearborn might have said "fixing this problem before any of our competitors is our highest priority!" and authorized an emergency program to source and acquire replacement airbags.

So now I'm number 6 (heh) on the waiting list, and Teshub only knows when parts will become available. In the meantime, I think we tape a big pillow to the dash.

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It's sort of like being back in the Army

2018-02-20T21:35:29Z

Remember the old recruiting slogan "We get more done before 9 AM than most people do all day"? Today was a bit like that. Except I slept in a bit and got a lot done before noon. But to be honest, the recruiting slogan took some liberties with the facts. Mostly what we did before 0900 was exercise, shower, and eat breakfast.

I am definitely getting over the pneumonia. No fever in 48 hours, appetite is back, a lot more energy. So I was able to take care of a few things that needed to be done. First on the agenda was getting an INR. The illness and the antibiotics caused my Warfarin level to skyrocket. I tested last week and got a modified dosage to get me through to today, the last day of the Levofloxacin. I asked for the test to be done stat, so they can see if more adjustments are needed, but odds are the anticoagulation clinic will see the results tomorrow.

After that, It was a quick drive to the Bank of America at Valley Fair (which is being completely rebuilt) to get laundry quarters and cash for the next two stops. BofA has already remodeled, and I have to give them credit. There are only five teller windows now. Which accurately reflects their ability to staff those windows. I'd rather wait in line with four of five windows staffed than wait in the same line with 12 empty windows and four working. It's a psychological thing, but it works.

From there, all the way down Stevens Creek to the AAA office. Along the way, I witnessed many data points on my crusade to make it harder to get and keep a California Driver's License. Seriously, a long, perfectly straight 6 lane road and people were being idiots. Once at Triple-A, I got in line to register Darby the Ford Ranger for another year. I love these guys because of their great customer service. The moment they noticed a line was growing, they fully staffed the member services desk. $155 in cash and Darby can use the highways and byways of this great land.

Now I had to drive all the way back down Stevens Creek. Really, the AAA couldn't really fit in an efficient drive plan. It was just handing out there all alone. So I scooted back to Santa Clara to the Adult Education office. Time has come around again for my writing group. I could have signed up for the next two sessions, but I had been only authorized one sign up. Get the next in a few weeks.

As always, the office staff there were amazing. They agreed that the website was never going to work right, and even helped me find the form for ordering a disabled plate, rather than the placard I use.

Into the home stretch! A quick drive brought me to the strip mall where my final two stops lay waiting. My usual haircut (trimmer with a #1 guide and straight-razor touch-ups) cost me $20 with a generous tip. I really like this place, and keep coming back because they do an awesome job, even on a simple request like mine.

One neat moment. As I was getting my head buzzed, an older gentleman came in. He sat down to wait and started chatting with my stylist in Vietnamese! Seeing the look on my face, he explained that he had served in Vietnam in 1969-70, and as it turned out, was stationed near my stylist's home village. When he first started coming to the barber, he recognized her accent. Weird to think that they were that close on the other side of the world only to finally meet here.

But I was done, and with my hat fitting much better now, I staggered down to where I had parked, right in front of Smart&Final. A week of fighting a fever meant I had consumed every drop of fluid in the house. We were dry. No Cokes, no O'Douls, down to one Gatorade and a couple of bottles of water. Time to restock.

I found all the fluid products easily enough, but my one thought for an impulse buy was stymied. I love hot Italian sausage on a roll with a good spicy mustard. If that sounds like overkill to you, I shall point out that I'm eating ghost pepper salsa as I type this. I exist to consume peppers.

Anyway, shopping at Smart&Final can be frustrating, as they have no real schedule for deliveries and do their restocking during business hours. I found the last package of French bread roll,s but the only Italian sausage was one lonely package of mild sausages with a sell-by date that was a couple of days past. Denied, I paid for my fluids with a heavy, sausageless, heart and headed home.

All before noon. Spending the rest of the day reading quietly. And eating ghost peppers.

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The ongoing adventures of Penguin Boy! Episode 3327: Against the Raging Douchebag!

2015-02-04T23:50:53Z

Notice: Chauncey the Magical Capybara does not appear in this thrilling episode. The Management apologizes for your crushed hopes.

So there Penguin Boy was, two-thirds done with a day that had tested mind and taxed his body. Rolling along The Alameda in his faithful truck, Darby. When suddenly a brand-new Ford Mustang Shelby GT500 appears!. Gorgeous car. The Penguin Boy is rudely yanked from his impending midlife crisis! The driver of the car has thrown something out the window! Into Darby's bed! Penguin Boy checks and confirms. A Rockstar energy drink can, empty, has been thrown into Darby.

Darby is not a proper place to dispose of trash! Penguin Boy (who might have been riding a slight endorphin high from his workout) caught up the Shelby at the next light. Boldly, Penguin Boy lept from his truck, grabbed the offending can, and fired the can through the open passenger window of the Shelby. With a burst of Amazing Penguin Speed, back to the wheel just as the light changed.

The insidious Raging Doucehbag, who was shocked that someone in a Ford Ranger would disrespect him like this, races after Darby. Roaring engine and squealing tires. All so his top of the line muscle car could catch . . . a Ford Ranger. A car that will do 80 if you really need it, but will then sulk for a week and probably report you to Car Protective Services ("Show me on the Tonka toy how the bad man touched your gas pedal...") Remember, this car was brand new. Still had a temporary registration and the dealer card in the "Marine Sniper - Born To Hunt Humans" plate frame. (Penguin Boy was not impressed.) Those engines need to be broken in. At least a few hundred miles before you start really working them. Raging Douchebag evidently has a crush on someone at the dealership maintenance bay; because the way he drives, he'll be a regular.

Onward to the next light. Raging Douchebag does indeed catch our hero, and accidentally passes him. There was another white Ford Ranger on the road, and Raging Douchebag pulled up next to him at the light. Darby and Penguin Boy was a few cars back. He charged from his car to scream only then noticing it wasn't Penguin Boy. Face flushed as red as the Marine Corps flag, he looked around to find our hero. Who waved. Like this.

The light turned green, and the enraged Raging Douchebag burned rubber as he shot into the intersection. The intersection of El Camino Real and Benton Street. The intersection right in front of the Santa Clara Police Department's headquarters. The Shelby is fine car. He must have been doing 65 when two patrol cars lit him up.

Penguin Boy saluted his fellow sniper as he rolled past the scene, being sure to let the now-defeated Raging Douchebag know that in Penguin Boy's eyes, he's still number one.

The concludes another exciting adventure of penguin Boy! Bu sure to tune in next time, and always remember,what Chauncey the Magical Capybara says: "Αίμα! Αίμα για το αίμα ο Θεός!"

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Accomplishments and Goals - 4 JAN 15

2015-01-05T01:13:25Z

Done today (all with kshandra):

Found the tools we needed.

Installed the new tie-down hooks on Darby.

Tested the new cargo net.

Made a run to Orchard Supply Hardware.

Installed the can crusher.

To be done tomorrow:

Change hearing aid batteries.

Attend writing group.

Go to Rite Aid to ask about new coverage.

Go to Library, pick up "AllQuiet On The Western Front"

Take out all garbage.

Take cans to the curb.

Fails:

Didn't get any writing done.

Still to be done today are the dishes. After dinner.

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