Douglas E. Berry

Hey kids, it's an eye update!

After a long day sitting around at the Eye Institute (several doctors were dealing with emergencies which left them way behind) I finally got to see Dr. M. He was very happy that I don't have cancer, but as he pointed out, this still leaves us in the dark about the cause of the eye inflammation.

So we may be subjecting my poor eyeballs to a cyberpunk-ish horror called Electroretinography. Which actually, sounds pretty interesting, if a bit horrifying for someone as paranoid about their eyes as I am. But for now, we're stepping down the steroid eye drops over an eight-week period. If the inflammation is still under control at that time, we can start scheduling the removal of the cataract from my right eye.

The funny thing is they were so far behind that when I left the front office folks had all gone home. I'll have to call Monday to set up my follow-up.

In other news, I'm rather disappointed in our latest Giants store purchase. I take blood thinners, which means I do not react well to cold weather. So. as you can imagine, night games at Oracle Park are a challenge. What do you think of when you hear the word "anorak"?

As the child of a Brit, and having been raised on British TV, I think of a warm, hooded, bit of rain kit, usually with a half-zipper. So I was thrilled to see one for sale on the Giants' site. Folks, I have T-shirts that are heavier than this. I wore it out today, on a very mild day, and it provided no warmth nor protection from even the slightest wind.

sigh At least it looks good. I'll just wear it as the outer layer as part of my San Francisco Summer Evening arctic survival kit.

This weekend is the annual city-wide clean-up for our area, also known as "dump everything in the street weekend." Our pile will be small but interesting. I may take pictures of the more interesting piles of junk. After the visit from the plumber, and the need to clean out under the sinks, we are also heading over to the Household Hazardous Waste drop off. Busy times.

Next week we'll mark 31 years of marriage with a dinner at the one surviving Black Angus in the South Bay. Then next weekend we're seeing Dance with the Dead with Magic Sword opening. An evening of trippy instrumental music.

This has been your Eyes and More^TM update.

Well, here we are again. Reaching the end of the calendar year for all of us who use the Gregorian Calendar.Of course, given my druthers, it'd be Idibus Decembres MMDCCLXXIV Ab Urbe Condita. But I'm weird that way.

Where are my druthers, anyway? However has them, give them back post-haste!

Anyway, for me, 2021 was dominated not by the political upheaval in Washington, but by my ongoing eye issues. What started as a simple diagnosis of a cataract in my left eye has ballooned into a still-evolving investigation of which my body is showing so many inflammation markers. But getting here has been epic. Because for the first eight months of this I was seeing an ophthalmologist who was very hesitant and unsure of herself. When she finally referred me to a more experienced colleague, it was one visit and surgery scheduled. Everyone assured me that cataract surgery was super easy, barely an inconvenience.

I came out of the surgery blind in my left eye. It was like looking through a cloudy glass brick. This was not the result anyone expected, and I began a brief odyssey of being punted around to different eye doctors before getting a referral (an insurance approval) to the Stanford Eye Clinic. We were told that this appointment could take several hours, but what happened that Friday was, well, special.

After going through all the usual eyedrops, pictures, and tests, we were visited by a succession of escalating doctors, all of whom wanted to confirm that I hadn't eaten that day. Finally, the senior eye surgeon on duty came in and told me that my retina was detaching, and we needed to head over to the Stanford ER to check in for surgery that night. Of course, due to COVID-19, kshandra. couldn't come in with me.

Any ER on a Friday night is going to be an interesting place. Stanford did not disappoint. However, it was also the night the Giants were going for the 100th win of the season, and I couldn't see my phone to follow the game! (They beat Colorado 7-2.) Eventually, They roll me into the ER proper if only so I could charge my phone. After really geeking out over how the ER is run, I'm rolled up to the surgical theater. This is the first time I've entered one in a wheelchair, so I got to really geek out over all the cool shit. The anesthesiologist and I agree on a general, and the last words I hear are "I'm giving you the relaxing medicine now."

The next thing I know it's like 0400 and I'm being rolled out to meet kshandra at the car. The procedure lasted about three hours. What they did was absolutely fucking science fiction. Along with cleaning out the gunk from the failed cataract surgery and resetting the artificial lens, they used FUCKING LASERS to weld the tears in my retina, put a silicon band around my eye to force it back into shape, and injected a gas bubble into my eye to further restore the proper retinal surface. This was out-patient surgery!

What sucked was I had to keep a head-down posture for the next week or so to keep the bubble in place. I listened to a lot of Judge Judy and podcasts at my desk. Things are still not perfect, but we're getting there!

My job continues to be fantastic. The mini-session they had in April-May last spring was weird and sparsely attended as many parents elected to continue distance learning. The new school year is back to regular days and hours, and with the exception of the six-week hole the eye problems blew in my ability to work, I've been happy to get back to my corner and shout in German at my kids. My boss was amazing, finding that I still had hours left in a special COVID-relief time bank, and a few PTO hours, so at least a little money came in during the time off. I'm so happy that I took the chance on becoming a Crossing Guard.

It was a good year for me in baseball. The San Jose Giants, now a Low-A club, won their league championship. The big league team was predicted to finish no better than 3rd in the National League West. What followed was one of the most amazing divisional races in the history of baseball. The Giants won a club-record 107 games, and still only clinched in the last game of the season because our rival Los Angeles Dodgers won 106 games, also a team record. We met in the NLDS and it went to five games, of course. LA won, and I'm not going to make excuses. But what a fucking season!

Due to the pandemic, we didn't get out much. We did make a long-planned trip to Los Angeles to see Avatar at the Wiltern Theater. We made a mini-vacation out of it. We went to the Rainbow Bar and Grill and spent too much money at Lemmy's Lounge. Hey, I'm an old Motörhead fan! We also were able to have dinner with isomeme and her lovely wife and with kshandra's halfsister and her lovely wife and kids.

We also visited the Getty Villa.. I killed my phone taking pictures. It's that amazing.

Then, just a couple of weeks about, we went to the first night of Metallica's 40th Anniversary concert. THEY PLAYED FIXXXER! AND KING NOTHING!!!

So, those are the highlights of 2021 for me. The whole eye thing dominated and continues to shape my life. But there are big changes and events coming in 2022. Which will be the next post! Stay tuned!

Well, I've made it through another year. Continuing to defy the medical odds, and actually thriving somewhat. 2019 was a year of continued recovery, pushing myself, and doing things that I thought I would never be able to do.

Let's review, shall we?

( Health )

( Work )

( The Arts )

( Baseball )

( Creative Work )

( Burning Man )

So, that's 2019. I know I missed things, but the summation of the year is this: I didn't die, and had fun living.

Judas. Fucking. Priest.

This was my sixth time seeing the Metal Gods, and they never fail to disappoint. Over the years I've seen them in everything from stadiums to amphitheaters to the US '83 festival, where over a hundred thousand metal maniacs greeted Priest to the stage. But last night was a unique opportunity, and I'm glad we went.

Because this show was at the venerable Warfield in San Francisco, a classic venue that opened as a vaudeville theater in 1922. It only seats about 2,300 and has numerous bars and food stations. It's really a mix between a club and a concert venue, and I love it. We have some history there, as the Warfield is where Kirsten and I saw The Jerry Garcia Band on what could be termed our one date. Yeah, we moved fast.

But last night. Not wanting to have to park in San Francisco we drove to the Millbrae transit hub (and thank you Waze for telling us to take 280 instead of 101, saved us about a half hour) and took Bart into the City. It was a beautiful night in SF, not too cold, and our battle jackets kept us warm enough. After a little confusion as to where the Warfield was on Market St. (I remembered it being much closer to Powell), we eventually found the venue and ducked into Popsons Burgers for a pre-show meal.

And that is where we encountered the Worlds Most Secure Bathroom. Having just spent close to an hour driving, riding a train, and walking, we both needed to use a restroom. Asking the wonderful front counterperson at the burger place, we got a ladle with a lock dongle attached and instructions to go two doors down, take the elevator to the basement, pass through a secure door, and the bathrooms are at the end of the hall. Getting to the bathroom required passing two locked doors and activating an elevator, plus the two security guards watching us.

Never have I pissed in more security. Back to the restaurant, where our food was ready. Since I had been having some stomach issues, I kept it simple: a hamburger with ketchup and mustard. Kirsten got a fancier burger, and we split an order of garlic fries. It was really good food, and just what I needed to get my blood sugar up. Our meal was interrupted by one of San Francisco's more charming homeless lunatics, but the staff ushered him out pretty quickly.

Once fed, we found the line for people with ADA-access tickets and waited. There were a lot of amazing battle jackets to admire, and some nice conversation had. Then we were let in. I cannot say enough about the Warfield staff. They were friendly, efficient, and got us our ADA stickers and directed us to our door. Stopping to spend just a little too much on merch (I now own a Judas Priest Firepower hoodie and a purple Priest hat) we found seats right behind the sound table.

I'm sorry that I don't have a set list for Uriah Heep, I just don't know their catalog well enough. But for a band that's celebrating their 50th anniversary next year, and still has a good percentage of long-term members, they tore the paint off the walls. Over sixty minutes they ran through five decades of good hard rock, from kind-of psychedelic tracks off 1972's Demons & Wizards to more recent hard rockers, the band was tight. Phil Lanzon was making me very happy with that Hammond organ. They closed out with Easy Living, and for a bunch of guys pushing their seventies, they sounded like they could go another two hours.

After a short intermission, Priest. Yeah, there are two new guitarists, and yeah, Rob is 67 and doesn't move quite so easily around stage anymore, but this was JUDAS FUCKING PRIEST! It was amazing to be so close to them, even with tall people standing in front of us. There was a video screen above the stage that showed a mixture of song-related graphics and live shots.

Unlike the first half of the Firepower tour that we saw last year, this time Priest was doing smaller venues and pulling out rarities from the deep catalog. For example, they hadn't played Tyrant live in nearly 30 years, and it's on this tour. Rob was in fine voice, and it seemed like every so often he'd nail a high note just to remind us that he's still the Metal God. Really high energy. The three-song encore had everyone singing along until we were hoarse, and Rob was still going strong.

Show over, we made our way back to Bart and back to our car and home. Living After Midnight may be a great song, but it's not how I can live anymore. There were only two things that marred an otherwise perfect night. At the concert, Kirsten had to deal with a drunk who seemed oblivious to the fact that I was sitting right there. We switched seats, and he wandered away.

The second was really fucking weird. We were getting into Kirsten's car at Millbrae Bart when a young Asian woman came up carrying a traffic cone came up and tried to get in our fucking car! She was seriously trying to open the doors and the hatchback! I'm sorry to say I was so exhausted that I didn't recognize what was happening, or I would have been in her face. She even stood behind us to try to stop us from moving. Crazy bitch.

But what an amazing night. The Summer of Loud continues this Saturday when we see Bill Kirchen alongside the surviving Lost Planet Airmen at the Freight & Salvage in Berkeley. I think that will be a slightly mellower show.

( Judas Priest setlist )

I can honestly say that 2018 was my best year in a very long time. This was the year that my long road of stroke recovery finally blossomed into a new world of hope and possibility. I started the year still largely afraid and ended it with new hope for my future.

What a lot of people don't realize about medical crises like cancer or a stroke is that a big part of recovery is overcoming the shock of your body betraying you. You trust your body, depend on it, and then you have something go frightfully wrong all of the sudden and you are faced with dealing with a body that has betrayed you.

For a long time during and just after my cancer treatment, and again after my stroke, I'd look at my body in the mirror and instead of seeing me, I'd see the Thing. The Thing was the meat sack that had turned on me, leaving me broken and unable to live the life I wanted. You fear what the Thing is going to do next, so you retreat into a shell. You stay in your safe spaces, avoiding anything where the Thing might strike.

But this year I had progressed far enough in my recovery to get past the fear of my own body. I owe a lot of this to the amazing help I got from therapists. They helped me recognize why I was acting the way I was and gave me the tools to work through my bad times.

This is why I was able to apply for the Citizens Police Academy. Attending this over 12 weeks at the beginning of last year was transformative. Not only did I learn a great deal, but I found myself pushing beyond my limits. One of my Drill Sergeants always told us that what we thought were our limits were just the beginning of our potential. Attending the CPA proved this again. I found my confidence there.

Which led to me spotting an ad in the local city paper for crossing guards. I felt it was time to reach out for some type of work again. I knew that I had limitations; I get tired fast, have chronic pain issues, and still suffer from some balance and proprioception issues. I had been thinking of a gig job like Door Dash, but when I learned what the guard job entailed, I realized it was perfect for me.

As it turned out, getting the job turned into an ordeal. I had to redo my fingerprints after my first set was routed incorrectly. But they came back clean, I passed the physical, and I found myself a member of the Santa Clara Police Department. It's funny, as a crossing guard I am the lowest man on the totem pole, yet I am immensely proud to be wearing the department patches and my badge. It's good to be a part of something bigger than you.

I've been filling in as a relief guard over the past few months, and hopefully, I'll be getting my own corner soon. I really enjoy the work and the kids are great. Having a little extra money coming in is nice as well.

Along with all this police-related stuff, we did do other things. Kirsten and I work publications for the 76th World Science Fiction Convention here in San Jose. I was in charge of the Restaurant Guide, and I'm really happy with how it turned out. We also worked the newsletter at the convention. Although this meant I spent most of the con in the newsletter office, and there were several problems we had, I really enjoyed the insanity of working a World Con.

Immediately after World Con, we headed out for Burning Man. I was able to get out and see more this year, which was nice. The highlight was seeing the Alan Parsons Live Project performing "I, Robot" in its entirety and then having Alan Parsons himself come and hang out in our camp for a few hours. Really nice guy.

Musically, we saw a couple of really good shows this year. Judas Priest and Deep Purple, though Deep Purple was a bit of a disappointment; Ghost; and seeing the final show of Machine Head's current line up. That show was off the charts. We made a couple of ball games, and after nearly 25 years of being a baseball fan, I finally got a ball. From one of the grounds crew at San Jose Municipal, but it's a real baseball!

A good year. There were a few places I fell short, like keeping up on my writing and going to the gym on a regular basis. Two things to work on in 2019. But I'm entering the new year in good health and good spirits. For the first time in years, I feel good about the future.

Next year kshandra and I will be marking our 25th wedding anniversary. Despite my recent meltdown over my birthday (and I apologize to anyone I offended with that), we want to do something special, life a cruise.

The problem is we're still poor. But Kiri deserves a real vacation. She has been so awesome for so long, she has earned a big ship and a fruity drink with an umbrella in it. I actually told her the other day that I don't care that we were looking at Alaskan cruises, she was getting a goddamn fruity drink with a goddamn umbrella in it!

My question is this: what would your reaction be to me starting a GoFundMe for this trip? I hate begging, I hate admitting that I can't do it, but to really have a great trip, we'll need help. Would you be offended? Think we're asking too much? Spread the word?

I'm still in a weird place emotionally. But Kirsten and I will celebrate a quarter century of marriage with something more that dinner at La Fondue. Kirsten and I will go someplace awesome (I hear Alaska is just filled with nature from reliable sources) and I will do whatever it takes to make this happen.

Other options we've discussed are a trip to Washington D.C. (she's never been) and possibly a Mexican Riviera cruise. The fantasy trip, which would take around $50,000 to do right, which is probably out of reach.

So, friends, Romans, countrymen. Your opinions on doing a GoFundMe for a vacation for our 25th?

A night of revelry!

( This got long )

Welcome to the latest edition of It's The Arts (journal edition.)

Been a busy weekend for watching things. Friday night, kshandra and I attended Cirque du Soleil's Amaluna. This was her company's annual "we survived the holidays" event. I really enjoyed it, although I can now say with certainty that dance does not work for me as a narrative medium. Amaluna is loosely based on The Tempest, one of my favorite Shakespeare plays. Even with that head start I can no clue what was going on. So I just enjoyed the amazing acrobatic performances.

Saturday I watched Metallica's concert film Through The Never. We had really wanted to see this in the theater, but the realities of my post-stroke rehabilitation meant that never happened. Really regret that now. The concert footage is amazing. The story of the roadie Trip being sent out to recovery a bag from a truck is wonderfully surreal. I really need to costume The Rider for cons.Just need to find out what model gas mask that is.

( As for the meaning of the side-story, I have my own theory. Spoilers )

After that, we watched the epically bad 2012. Oh, dear Ghods. Never mind the terrible script and acting, the film has it's best disaster sequence in the first half hour. The destruction of Los Angeles was pretty epic. But it came early. After that it was just more narrow escapes and increasingly improbable escapes. With added scientific howlers, like how they handled the detonation of the Yellowstone Caldera. ProTip: you will no survive is you are in line of sight of the explosion. You will not outrace it in a Winnebago. And your Cessna will not survive when the shock wave hits. The entire last act with the stuck loading ramp was pointless.

But for me, the biggest howler was political. The big drive of the plot was the existence of a project to build arks in the Chinese Himalayas. The idea was to preserve as much life and culture as possible to reestablish things after the Earth settles down. Problem is, the President decides not to go, the Vice-President has been killed, and no one can find the Speaker of the House. So the Chief of Staff declares himself acting President.

This is where my suspension of disbelief snapped. First of all, the Secret Service would drag the President kicking and screaming onto that plane. Secondly, the chain of succession exists for a reason. It's not like you couldn't find a reason to send the Secretary of State to China, where s/he could be pre-positioned on the ark.I'd have one of the people in the chain up on one of the USAF's command planes for a reason, and make sure that everyone in the chain was someplace where they could be found at a minutes notice. If that means camping at Andrews AFB, so be it!

Really, really bad movie.

Finally, the Super Bowl. That was ugly. Turned it off early.

Yesterday we went out with two main goals: pick up my meds and get me a trekking pole at REI. The cane I had been using was too short and heavy. The therapists suggest a lighter trekking pole and had me work with with one. Much better feel. At REI, a very helpful young lady showed us the options and I ended up with a Leki Wanderfreund AS.



Made in the Czech Republic. Cool!

What made this fun was the guy checking us out used to work at Lord & Sons as a machinist. There was a line, so we didn't really have a chance to chat, but I'd love to learn why he left a good position at a skilled trade to work retail.

The plan was to hit Pizza My Heart so Kiri could have lunch. Alas, it was still a while before they opened and I could feel myself fading, so we went to RiteAid, got my pills, and headed home. The only other big thing was making a big order from Safeway and clearing out all the things in the fridge that had died in the past month.

After a night that led to us calling to cops on our normally quiet-if-not-gone neighbor, I felt the need to do something. I took out some garbage, straightened up around my desk and the back of the futon, vacuumed, cleaned out Vera the Vacuum, did some dishes, and was then order by Kirsten to stop now so I wouldn't burn out.

I obey those kind of orders now.

Just waiting for the Safeway order to arrive, and then the Niners' game tonight. Tomorrow I have OT.

Next weekend we're going to try to make the Santa Clara Art & Wine Festival for as long as I can hold out. Any locals who want to meet up there, just let us know!

San Francisco Giants: 4
Detroit Tigers: 3 (10)

It had to end this way, right? A see-saw game, extra-innings, torture, and Marco Scutaro bringing in the winning run with yet another clutch hit. Of course you needed things to be finished off by a wacky bearded closer (Sergio Romo this time) facing the AL Triple Crown winner and probable MVP, Miguel Cabrera.

Struck him out looking. Giants take the World Series in four straight games. Second World Series title in three years. That's the best thing about this win; it shows that 2010 wasn't a fluke. The Giants are a team that will find a way to win, and will never give up. A different hero every day. Stellar pitching. Incredible defense. Hits when we needed them, and scratching out every run.

Pablo "Kung Fu Panda" Sandoval was the easy choice for Series MVP. He only hit .500 in four games, along with tying Babe Ruth, Reggie Jackson, and Albert Pujols by hitting three home runs in Game 1. He is the only player ever to get those three homers in first three at-bats in the Series.

The parade is Wednesday. We're so going to be there. Anyone else up for meeting along Market Street somewhere? I'll be the guy in the Giants hat. :)

Ladies and Gentlemen, your 2012 WORLD SERIES CHAMPION SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS!!!!!

Edit: Almost forgot. I called my mom last night after we had finished yelling and dancing here, and learned I was the second person to call about the game. The Emergency Back-Up Niece had called right after the final out to exclaim "They won!" Then she asked if this meant they were the best.

Yes, Kylie, that's exactly what it means.