Deal with it.

[gridlore]

Last night, Rose and I talked about a few things, especially my reactions of polyamory and how people might act at the callahan's annex. Today, I get an e-mail from my sister ranting at about the fact that I *dared* to talk about my personal life with my family!

Attention world! I am the following: a financial/military conservative, socially liberal, somewhat bi, cross-dressing veteran. I consider my marriage to Kirsten to be the single most important relationship in my life. I do not bed hop, and do not think that it is overly healthy, in either an emotional or physical sense. I prefer to actually care about and be interested in my partners.

I do not like being touched. I am constantly amazed by the number of people who seem to think that it is perfectly ok to just grab me two seconds after I meet them. I have known people who couldn't get this clue for years. Free Clue: If you meet me, expect a handshake at most.

I despise groups like PeTA and the Family Research Council equally. I find the world's religions good sources of ethical guidance, but the mythology attached ranges from the silly to the disturbing.

I am a patriot. I once swore to defend this nation and what it stands for with my life if necessary. I may be out of uniform, but as far as I am concerned, that oath stands.

I do not tolerate fools or whining. Take you dramas elsewhere. If you come to me whinging about some problem, I will attempt to find a solution to that problem. This, for some reason, shocks people. If you just want to complain about your life and not do anything about, talk to the mirror. Because I don't give a damn.

I believe that the majority of people living on San Francisco's streets are bums. Make them work for their *food*, not shelter, and you'd be amazed how fast they'd thin out.

I am a sports fan. I love sports. Baseball and football especially, but I'll watch just about anything. I also like mindless action movies. I don't get art films. They bore me. Speaking of art, I think modern art is the biggest fraud on the last 200 years. A painting or sculpture should look like something, even if it is an interpretation of the subject. Koko the Gorilla is a better painter than Jackson Pollack.

The Kinks are ten times the band the Beatles ever were. There has never been a Bob Dylan song that wasn't done better by someone else.

These are some of the things that make me me. I am not the typical SF Bay Area thirty-something geek. Don't expect me to be. If you don't like the person I am, go the fuck away and find something you like more. I am so damn happy to be alive and the way I am that I am not changing for any one. I've done enough of that.

It matters not how straight the gate
How charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate
The captain of my soul
- Invictus

Comments

Re: There's more to it than that....

[gingicat]

Heck Wolf and I, or Wolf and either of his other two Callahanian sweeties, are viewed as people who found each other through a.c (actually, Wolf found me through r.m.f., but that's because Mary the Filker pointed him there...).

I don't think it's a bad thing to be viewed as part of a couple, as long as people *also* view you as an individual.

Re: There's more to it than that....

[gingicat]

PS. Sorry, I missed the point (that's what I get for not reading carefully).

As someone who is poly-friendly, but doesn't find it needful to have additional relationships, I would (and have) found it upsetting if I felt that Wolf, my partner, was putting other relationships ahead of his relationship with me. If other people treated those relationships as more important, I'm not sure *how* I would feel. Left out. Left behind. A third wheel.

It's not a happy feeling.

Re: There's more to it than that....

[kshandra]

We talked about this yesterday, actually.... He actually does understand that the people at the PNW Annex are far more used to seeing dafydd and me as "the couple". We have a local fannish friend who refers frequently to her "invisible husband" (she married a mundane who shows up only for the art auction, if at all) - gridlore sees himself in an analogous position here. It's only if he gets ignored that he'll start having problems, and I understand and respect that.