Coupon madness!

[gridlore]

For the love of Cthulthu, learn to freaking read!

Near closing, a well-dressed couple comes up to my counter with a small pile of stuff, mainly from the gourmet section. So far, so good.. I do my scan-and-bag fu, then tell them the total.

Note that Cost Plus sends it's card holders reward coupons, normally $15 off their next purchase on the World Market card. Over the holidays, they sent everyone a $25 off coupon that didn't specify that the customer needed to use the card (their mistake, they admitted to us peons.)

Me: Register Ninja
AHM: Man in the Big Asshat
SW: Shrill wife
SM: Samurai Manager

Me: "OK, that will be $60.49."
AHM: "We have these." hands me two coupons, a $15 and a $25 rewards set.
Me: "I'm sorry sir, but this coupon (the $25 one) can't be combined with other offers or discounts. I show him the line on the back.
AHM: "Fine, we'll just split the order then."
SW: "Why do you people have to be so anal about this?
Me: checking coupons "I'm sorry, but the $25 coupon has expired. I can't accept this now."
SW: "Are you KIDDING ME! That's insane, you have to take it!"
AHM: "This is bullshit. Take the damn coupons or else!"
Me: (tired and cranky already) "Or else what, precisely?" (I used to be an Airborne Ranger. I menace very well.
AHM: "We'll file a complaint and have your job!"
Me: "Feel free, but I'm not taking that coupon. The date of expiration is clearly printed on both sides of the card."
AHM: "We can't be expected to read all the fine print!"
SW: "We're busy people!"
Me: Cashier Glare of Death.
AHM: "Fine." throws coupon at me. "Have it your fucking way."
Me: takes $15 coupon, and takes the money off their total "Your new total is $45.49."
AHM: pulls out a wad of twenties.
Me: (in a voice dripping with sugar) "I'm sorry sir, but that coupon is only good on purchases made with your World Market card.. see? It says so right on the back."
AHM: "You're a fucking smart ass. I want a manager."
Me: " I cast Summon Manager!"

poof

SM: (after having everything explained to him "Sir, gridlore is correct, you have to use your card to get the discount."
Me: angelic smile
AHM: "FINE!" (slams card on the counter) "You people are complete jerks, you know that?"
Me: "Yes sir. Whatever you say. Have a nice night!"

Had these morons bothered to read the two lines of text on these coupons, they would have gotten everything they wanted. Instead, the wasted a discount and i probably took five years off their lives by being insulin-shock nice to them.

Crossposted to gridlore and customers_suck

Comments

[drewkitty.livejournal.com]

If someone threw a coupon at me, I would smile politely and say, "Next customer please."

When he protested, I would explain, "You are not a customer. You are a rude jerk who throws things at people. Please leave the store. Next customer please."

:)

I wouldn't last long in retail.

[collie13.livejournal.com]

I think you handled that well, but then I am a firm believer in relentless politeness when behind the counter. I once got a shoplifter to walk back into the store with me -- with the objects he'd shoplifted in hand -- by being relentlessly polite to him.

I'm still not sure how, but it worked.

I think the universe is shrinking again....

[kshandra]

*reads userinfo*

*reads homepage*

*looks at picture on bio page*

*mentally adds hair to picture*

Wait - not Collie from Planet 10?!

Re: I think the universe is shrinking again....

[collie13.livejournal.com]

Um, yeees... more context on you, please? Feel free to use email, of course: collie at pobox dot com. ;)

Re: I think the universe is shrinking again....

[gridlore.livejournal.com]

Doug and Kirsten. I used to practically live at Planet 10 (and bought every Traveller product that hit the shelves.) Near the end of the store's run, Kirsten and I got engaged.

This is a good picture of me.. seem familiar? We've run into each other since at BayCon and the like.

Re: I think the universe is shrinking again....

[collie13.livejournal.com]

OMG, that's so cool! *laugh* Good to hear from you guys again -- how're you both doing? Email, dude! ;)