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gridloreOne thing you see a lot of while watching televised sports is ads for trucks. Each ad tries to out macho the other, showing grimy sweaty men doing grimy sweaty things that in a gay porn would result in back rubs and grimy sweaty man sex.
But I digress.
I'm always amused by these ads because the truck I drive everyday is everything these guys have wet dreams over, but they can't spend $65,000 on a 34-foot flatbed. So, for your shopping assistance, here is Doug's guide to Real Trucks.
Unless the truck you are looking at meets these requirements, either pass it by and head for your local International or Hino dealer or admit that your truck is not overly macho and Real Trucks (and their drivers) will think of you as just another pinball.
Happy to help.
I really need an icon that shows me with my current truck.
But I digress.
I'm always amused by these ads because the truck I drive everyday is everything these guys have wet dreams over, but they can't spend $65,000 on a 34-foot flatbed. So, for your shopping assistance, here is Doug's guide to Real Trucks.
- Real Trucks burn diesel.
- Real Trucks refuel at places that don't have shops attached.
- Real Trucks stop at the scales.
- Real Trucks get pulled in for inspection on a regular basis.
- Real Trucks have air brakes.
- Real Trucks have back up alarms.
- Real Trucks take up five parking spaces.
- Real Trucks don't fit in the drive through.
- Real Trucks have at least four mirrors, and still have blind spots you can lose an Escalade in.
- Real Trucks are "Exempt" or "Apportioned".
- Real Trucks convoy because they have to stay to the right by law.
- Real Trucks carry a breaker bar.
- Real Trucks have hoods that open forwards
- Real Trucks are frequently seen parked next to portable toilets.
Unless the truck you are looking at meets these requirements, either pass it by and head for your local International or Hino dealer or admit that your truck is not overly macho and Real Trucks (and their drivers) will think of you as just another pinball.
Happy to help.
I really need an icon that shows me with my current truck.
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no subject
Date: 23 Apr 2007 00:25 (UTC)no subject
Date: 23 Apr 2007 00:30 (UTC)Hey! I quite like those commercials! Oh. I see what you mean. The guy from the Ford commercial is HOT, but Mike Rowe (from Dirty Jobs) talking about a fully boxed frame blah blah blah, who cares. I could be dying of thirst in the desert, but that man could get my last dollar selling pretzels.
And being that I have to PAY for the fuel in my truck, I'm still happy driving one of these.
no subject
Date: 23 Apr 2007 00:31 (UTC)Y'forgot one:
Date: 23 Apr 2007 02:16 (UTC)Italian restaurants with Oriental women.
How's the finger?
Re: Y'forgot one:
Date: 23 Apr 2007 03:33 (UTC)no subject
Date: 23 Apr 2007 03:43 (UTC)No, they refuel at places with three restaurants and a group shower room attached. Uh, what was that about gay porn?
no subject
Date: 23 Apr 2007 04:53 (UTC)no subject
Date: 23 Apr 2007 04:56 (UTC)Of course, I still need to track down a mp3 version of Convoy
no subject
Date: 23 Apr 2007 05:07 (UTC)no subject
Date: 23 Apr 2007 05:17 (UTC)*REAL* real trucks, otoh....
Date: 1 May 2007 06:37 (UTC)2. have a slave cable connection (no gay pr0n jokes, please.)
3. have a ring mount suitable for the emplacement of the automatic crew served weapon of your choice.
4. will burn JP-8, DF-2, MOGAS, or any combination thereof, but not aviation fuel, unless you admix 30 weight.
redc1c4,
i saw an M-35A2 for sale the other day up in Fillmore, *only* $4500. %-)