Brown M&M's? I'm trashing the room.

[gridlore]

OK, thanks to The Smoking Gun the world now knows the traveling requirements of both the Vice President and the who should have been President (in my opinion, anyway.) These sort of things are normally known as "riders" in the trade.

Which made me wonder.. what would your riders be? You're a rock star, or political figure, or some figure who travels frequently and has the clout to make demands. What do you ask for from the hotels you are booked into?



Room heated to 72 degrees prior to arrival.

Radio tuned to local Hard Rock/Classic Rock station.

Access to steam room with minimal walk.

Refrigerator stocked with 12 12-oz cans of Coke Classic, one six pack Corona, fresh limes, and extra sharp cheddar cheese.

Pantry should contain wheat bread, deviled ham, hot garlic salsa (NO jalapeños), corn chips (Doritos or equivalent)

Morning papers: San Francisco Chronicle and local daily.

High-speed internet connection open upon arrival.

Bowl with Lemon and Orange Starburst candies.

Beanbag chair, dark colored (black preferred.)

Minimal traffic past door after 0100. Zone of silence appreciated.

Breakfast (to be served between 0700-0730

two eggs scrambled hard
four sausage links
two strips bacon
four slices wheat toast (butter on side)
bowl of Wheaties
one glass orange juice, NO PULP
one large glass 2% Lo-fat milk
If exterior temp is below 45 degrees, add one cup hot chocolate w/ no whipped cream.

Comments

[kat-box.livejournal.com]

OK I just gotta ask... Isn't 2% Lo-fat a contradiction in terms? In Vancouver 2% milk is standard, low fat milk would be either 1% or skim. Mayhaps it's different in your area?

[lizw.livejournal.com]

Natural milk has about 4% fat, so anything less than that could be described as low-fat - although really, 4% is very low to start with, so the whole thing's a bit of a scam.

[kat-box.livejournal.com]

Well up here it isn't labelled "low-fat", just what percentage it is. But I do agree that a lot of the labelling is kinda scammy. I mean really, saying something is cholesterol free when that's it's natural state is a load o' crap. But really, if you look in the milk cases in most stores up here, by and far the largest shelf space is devoted to the 2% milk. The closest runner up is probably the 1%. Skim tastes to me like slightly milky water and I can't stand it, but the 1% isn't too bad if you've always been used to 2%.

[lizw.livejournal.com]

In the UK, we only have four varieties: skimmed (which is 1%), semi-skimmed (which is 2%), full-fat (4 %) and gold top (usually comes from the Channel Islands and is extra-creamy, so presumably the fat content is slightly higher than normal, but I don't know what it is exactly).

(Well, and then there's variations such as homogenised, organic, flavoured etc, but there's only those four categories that are related to fat content, AFAIK.)

[kat-box.livejournal.com]

OK now you've got me thinking... Your "skimmed" milk is 1%? I wonder what our skim milk is....?

[kshandra]

1% is a reasonably new offering in the Lower 48 (last decade, roughly). Growing up, the options were whole, 2%, and skim.

[kat-box.livejournal.com]

I'd say that in Canada 1% has been around for at LEAST 20 years.

[kshandra]

...you're right. I keep forgetting I'm not 25 anymore. *wry grin* But both 1 and 2% are still available in equal amounts on USan shelves.

[(Anonymous)]

I keep forgetting I'm not 25 anymore. *wry grin*

And ain't that a bitch! :D It's a complete mindf**k to me to have to say I'm *40*. I so do NOT feel like there should be a 4 at the beginning of my age. Early 30-s sure, but 40? Hell no! :D

[kshandra]

How in the world have we been married this long without me knowing you drank orange juice?

[cmdr-zoom.livejournal.com]

He sneaks it while you're not looking.

[gridlore.livejournal.com]

It's true. I've been sneaking off to one of those notorious OJ dens out by King and Story.

Which reminds me. I owe a dealer 50 grand for some primo "Florida Sunshine."

[gridlore.livejournal.com]

Because I hate pulpy OJ, and it's been damn near imnpossible to find no-pulp OJ for over 20 years.

I know you've seen me drink it before.

[kshandra]

Quite honestly, I don't remember it.

[cmdr-zoom.livejournal.com]

Frankly, having once been the guy who took care of some of this stuff for someone:

"Nothing I can't get for my own damn self."

(No bitterness towards the guy in question. It just seems rather silly to me, and I'm not yet so spoiled I can't go for an evening without Barq's root beer, especially if someone has to go out of their way to get it for me, make sure it's chilled down, etc...

... cue my rant about our society's ultimate dream/goal being to live as much like a pampered child again as possible.)

[kshandra]

Again? What is this "again" of which you speak? :-P

[cmdr-zoom.livejournal.com]

Well, the assumption is that we all went through SOME sort of relatively carefree childhood, even if less "pampered" than we might have wished. Then most of us grew up and had to get jobs and start taking responsibility.

"Winning at life" is therefore popularly defined as a return to that womb-like state, where everything is provided and nothing is required, to whatever extent one's means allow.

If one is particularly lucky and wealthy, one never need "grow up" in the first place (q.v. Michael Jackson, our current president, and others)

Nothing too fancy for me

[lizw.livejournal.com]

Tea- and coffee-making facilities
A good brand of local bottled beer in the mini-bar
A good supply of cold drinking water
The ability to get a nutritious snack from room service at whatever ungodly hour my flight gets me in
A large bathrobe
A generous supply of large fluffy towels
A TV that works and has at least one channel in a language I understand
Wi-fi internet access.