Stupid Winter sports!
Feb. 12th, 2006 03:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gridloreYay, Luge!
During the 2004 Games, I set out my test for what sports should be allowed to remain by way of the Spartan Test
Now it's time to do the Winter Sports. With the Viking Test.
Basically, we ask if a self-respecting fierce Nordic Warrior would take part in this sport. If not, then its out.
On Snow
Biathlon This is so in. Direct application to combat, and it is dangerous.
Alpine Skiing Hurling yourself down a mountain at 80 miles an hour? Very Viking. It's in.
Cross Country Ever hear of the Sissi? It's in.
Freestyle Skiing Real Vikings wouldn't be caught dead doing something called a "helicopter." It's silly. Out.
Nordic Combined Look at the name. It's in.
Snowboarding Vikings wouldn't use a snowboard for anything other than kindling. Out.
Ski Jumping Dangerous unto the point of stupidity. Vikings would love this. In.
On the Track
Bobsleigh Dangerous and fast. Involves teamwork. It's a Viking sport. In.
Luge Like Bobsledding, only even more dangerous. So in.
On the Rink
Curling In, if only for the fact that it involves big rocks.
Figure Skating GONE! No Viking would wear those costumes, and the music? Forget it. Out.
Ice Hockey In. It's fast, violent and emotional.
Speed Skating In, but on probation. They need to make it a bit more exciting.
Short Track Exciting, fast, and unpredictable. In.
During the 2004 Games, I set out my test for what sports should be allowed to remain by way of the Spartan Test
Now it's time to do the Winter Sports. With the Viking Test.
Basically, we ask if a self-respecting fierce Nordic Warrior would take part in this sport. If not, then its out.
On Snow
Biathlon This is so in. Direct application to combat, and it is dangerous.
Alpine Skiing Hurling yourself down a mountain at 80 miles an hour? Very Viking. It's in.
Cross Country Ever hear of the Sissi? It's in.
Freestyle Skiing Real Vikings wouldn't be caught dead doing something called a "helicopter." It's silly. Out.
Nordic Combined Look at the name. It's in.
Snowboarding Vikings wouldn't use a snowboard for anything other than kindling. Out.
Ski Jumping Dangerous unto the point of stupidity. Vikings would love this. In.
On the Track
Bobsleigh Dangerous and fast. Involves teamwork. It's a Viking sport. In.
Luge Like Bobsledding, only even more dangerous. So in.
On the Rink
Curling In, if only for the fact that it involves big rocks.
Figure Skating GONE! No Viking would wear those costumes, and the music? Forget it. Out.
Ice Hockey In. It's fast, violent and emotional.
Speed Skating In, but on probation. They need to make it a bit more exciting.
Short Track Exciting, fast, and unpredictable. In.
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no subject
Date: 13 Feb 2006 01:13 (UTC)I like Curling because of the skill involved, but I'm not so sure "shuffleboard on ice" would make the cut. It takes strength and skill, but it's not particularly dangerous.
I'm with you on freestyle, snowboard, and figure skating being tossed out, and all the others in.
I note that a few years ago, there was a drive to try and get Bridge added as a winter sport! Sheesh.
no subject
Date: 13 Feb 2006 15:07 (UTC)The part done at an ice rink had skating and curling. We had someone manage to get his ankle between two of the stones as they came together.
Didn't break anything but he walked poorly for a few days.
no subject
Date: 13 Feb 2006 15:09 (UTC)A game where some of the participants may be wearing *plate* armor, and the rules amount to things like "no *deliberately* breaking bones..."
no subject
Date: 15 Feb 2006 23:51 (UTC)Does Norway, Finland, Iceland or Sweden take any medals in those? No. There has never been a Nordic gold in bobsleigh. It is some Alpine thing where Swiss in too tight clothes huddle way too close for Scandinavian (not to mention Finnish) social tastes.