Car-dodging bicycle sold separately.

[gridlore]

Go to the toy aisle of any store. All the dolls (or "action figures") come packaged with one or two "accessories." Barbie has her purse, The Hulk has a big rock, Space Ghost has little cards and a desk. If someone were to go to the toy store and buy a YOU action figure, which one or two little objects would be in your package with you? Furthermore, what outfit would you be wearing, and what action would you perform when they pressed the little lever on your back?

The gridlore action figure is wearing faded jeans, a convention t-shirt, and a Giants cap (not removable). It comes packaged with a book and a can of Coke. The wire rim glasses are tinted and come with Real Smudges(tm) When the little button is pressed, it quotes rules and setting information for Traveller (Over 500 different phrases!)

Comments

[melyxa.livejournal.com]

Like Barbie before me, there are several "incarnations" of the melyxa doll.

CFIDSmelyxa is wearing a floor-length lounging gown (your choice of grey jersey, black knit or red velour), red leather thong-style shoes, and a tiny Duragesic patch. It comes with a blanket, a cane, and a medicine box. Her glasses also come with Real Smudges (tm). When the little button is pressed, she apologizes for not being able to help or do more.

Activitstmelyxa is wearing a black v-neck shirt and your choice of black pants or black skirt, with black clogs and a black motorcycle jacket. (The "Access = Equality" and "Doing My Part To Piss Off The Religious Right" buttons can be purchased in the accessory pack, with the pentacle necklace and rainbow pride patch.) It comes with a cordless phone attached to her headphones, a laptop and a cane. Her glasses also come with Real Smudges (tm). When the little button is pressed, she makes pithy wisecracks at or about a selection of politicians and social issues (additional rant cards are available at an extra cost).

Shamanic Priestess melyxa is a special edition model and therefore is available in limited quantity and at a somewhat higher pricepoint. She appears to be just like CFIDSmelyxa in her red velour lounger, but when the lounger is unzipped, it reveals her astral travel form: ablebodied, several sizes thinner (but still not "skinny"), in a simple black catsuit belted on the hips; on one hip is a sword, on the other is a pouch of tarot cards. She also comes with an Ephemeris and a complete set of Znaki. Her cane extends and transforms into a staff. When the little button is pressed, she tells you exactly what you need to hear (whether you want to hear it or not).

Optional accessories include a lapcat (choice of 10 varieties), tv plus remote, Gazelle glider exercise unit, barbells, and a mobility scooter.

Thank you, gridlore! This was fun. It was just the thing to lift me out a potentially disasterous depressive funk.

[grimmwire.livejournal.com]

The Grimmwire Fully Articulated Action Figurine would come with black Converse skate shoes, grey-green phat pants, dark green t-shirt, black pullover Wired hoody with yellow shock-hazard logo on the front, accessorized by a sketchbook, digital video camera, microphone, and a giant tottering stack of science fiction novels. It can also store 10,000 mp3s, includes headphone jacks and Firewire, is compatible only with Macs, and can harmonize along with songs if so desired.

It is anatomically correct and, uh, fully functional, but no one ever takes off its clothes.