gridlore | ARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cross posted to my own journal and

customers_suck

Tonight CP was filled with real winners, starting with the very first person, who approached me and put a hundred down, and said..

"Tell me you can break this or I'm going to have to rob you."

What the FUCK?? There are things you just don't say, and "rob you" in a retail establishment is one of them! One customer heard only the last part and she was already reaching for her cell when I told the guy off.

Next up, the hurry-up offensive! Lady doing a return. She wants to exchange two items as well because they are the wrong color. She wants to know why she cant just switch them? Maybe because black and natural wine racks are tracked differently in our inventory control? So I get the items scanned in, run the card we're crediting to, and mark the portions of the return form she needs to do. She whines through the entire process that she's in a hurry, doesn't understand this, etc. Really pissed me off.

Then there was the lady who brought up a china platter and demanded that I guarantee this won't break. I started to explain that I would wrap it carefully for the drive home, and she interrupted me by signaling cease-fire (hand waved in front of face.) "No, not now.. ever!"

Bone china. And she wanted a lifetime guarantee. LOL...

But the best was yet to come... look back up to exchange lady. After about 15 minutes, she came back up with her bloody wine racks, and two of the martini glasses shown in the upper left of this page. I commented on how cool I thought they were, which led to the following exchange. By far the weirdest, most uncomfortable encounter I have had in over a decade in various customer service roles.

Me: Missing the Giants Game, Again!
DQ: Drama Queen in need of a copy of Final Exit.

Me: I just love these glasses, they are so cool.
DQ: Oh, do you use them?
Me: No, sdaly, I can't drink.
DQ: Why is that?
Me: I'm epileptic, and my medication reacts to alcohol badly. I could end up in a coma should I drink too much.
DQ: This medication, what is it called?
Me: Trileptal

(OK, at this point, all is going normal. People are interested, and I've told about my meds many time to fellow sufferers and to families of epileptics. Trileptal is fairly new, and very effective.)

DQ: (writes the name down) I'm going to kill myself.
Me: Excuse me?
DQ: I'm going to get this Trileptal and kill myself by drinking a lot.
Me: This stuff is prescription only, you know. You can't just buy anti-convulsants at Rite-Aid!
DQ: Is California. I'll get it. (Did I mention she had a thick Russian accent?)
Me: (barely in control of myself) "Lady, I survived cancer. Every bloody morning I'm thankful to be alive. I have a frined whoi would give up everything to see her late husband for a day. How dare you come up to me, flash a wallet full of money, being a young, healthy woman and say that. I suggest that before I really lose my temper, that you gather your purchases and leave. Please, next time you need to shop here, go to the Cost Plus on Stevens Creek."

I had to take a break. My manager with whom I usually joke around with, took one look at me and got out of my way. I spent ten minutes pulling written-off furniture out of the dumpster and breaking it.

Needless to say, I didn't notice much after that. Charles Manson could have bought an entire Gatsby floor set and paid with cows I and would have passed it in a haze.

People like that...