A couple of laughs

[gridlore]

"There's a rumor that President George Bush had a nose job, that he had
some kind of plastic surgery, that he actually had a nose job. If this
is true, that's the first new job he's created since taking office."
--David Letterman

"President Bush is now focusing on jobs. I think the one job he's
focusing most on is his own. The White House is now backtracking from
its prediction that 2.6 million new jobs will be created in the U.S.
this year. They say they were off by roughly 2.6 million jobs."
--Jay Leno

"President Bush is having a tough time these days, having to defend
himself a little bit. Yesterday, big story, President Bush backed away
from his claim that the economy will grow by 2.6 million jobs this year
by saying, 'I'm not a statistician.' Then Bush said, 'Actually, I'm an
Episcopalian.' He got confused."
--Conan O'Brien

"President Bush said today he's troubled by all the gay marriages. ...
He said the only time two men should ever be in bed together is if one
is a lobbyist and one is a politician."
--Jay Leno

"I think President Bush might be afraid of John Kerry. Today, he came
out against same-sex debates."
--Craig Kilborn

"There were those rumors going around that John Kerry had botox
injections. Now they're speculating that President Bush may have had a
nose job. Probably what happened was it started growing when he started
telling those stories about the National Guard."
--Jay Leno

"President Bush says he's troubled by all the gay weddings that have
been going on in San Francisco. Bush also says he's troubled by Bert and
Ernie's relationship on 'Sesame Street.'"
--Conan O'Brien

"President Bush said he was 'troubled' by gay people getting married in
San Francisco. He said on important issues like this the people should
make the decision, not judges. Unless of course we're choosing a
president, then he prefers judges."
--Jay Leno

"It was reported in the paper that President Bush received a 'warm
reception' from the Daytona 500 drivers. Well sure, the drivers had
never met anyone who was sponsored by more oil companies than they
were."
--Jay Leno

"In Louisiana, President Bush met with over 15,000 National Guard
troops. Here's the weird part, nobody remembers seeing him there."
--Craig Kilborn

Comments

[arib.livejournal.com]

What? No Kerry jokes? There's a whole untapped goldmine there, too. :-)