Oh, Good Grief!

[gridlore]

Read this story:

Mom caught in custody fight also battling Army over return to Iraq Soldier declared AWOL as she seeks new child-care arrangement

OK. I have one question. If you have SEVEN children, what the fuck are you doing in the United States Army?!

What, did neither you nor your husband, a platoon sergeant in a combat unit, understand that being in the service meant that you might just be called on to head overseas for extended periods to, I don't know, FIGHT A GODDAMN WAR!? Did you think those camouflage uniforms and weapons were for show and tell? During WWII, soldiers (even the female WACs) were away from their families for years.

Then there is the sheer number of children involved. The woman involved is 30, Two of the kids are from her husband's previous relationship. That means this woman has had five children.. and she's thirty. I have to wonder how often she even made drills! Now dear old Mom is facing prison time (intentionally missing a movement to avoid duty in a combat zone is a death penalty offense in the military.) Realistically, she won't get lined up against a wall and shot. But she's screwed herself but good.

She's also screwed everyone in her unit who will now have to shoulder her load while she gets court-martialed. A 14-hour day will become a 16-hour day. A soldier won't be seen quite as quickly. Call me an old-fashioned reactionary if you like, but if there is anything that would prevent you from deploying and doing your duty for as long as it takes, you should be separated from the service. Ridiculous.

And now we'll see the usual suspects decry the "inhumanity of the military." Guess what? Nobody held a gun to this alleged adult's head and forced her to recite the Oath of Enlistment. Please read that. I don't see anything in there that says "unless it inconveniences me and my family."

Comments

[gridlore.livejournal.com]

She should have realized that with her husband in a combat unit, and long about the time she had her third kid, that any deployment was going to cause serious hardship and separated voluntarily.

Her commanders have a job to do, and she is supposed to be there doing her part of it. It's not that hard to leave the National Guard, especially if you have a family commitment like this.

What she seems to be ignoring is that her unit is at war. And the NG is short handed as it is. There is a stop-loss in place all over the Army now. She and her husband should have realized that both of them getting deployed would be disastrous.

[dafydd.livejournal.com]

Except that it wasn't disasterous when she originally left!

She had care for her children, just like those men and women in WWII that you mentioned, for the first six months of her deployment. If the ex-wife hadn't tried to seize control, and if her father(-in-law?) hadn't become even more ill, she would have been covered.

So, again, what part of "circumstances beyond her control" do you have a problem with given that she did, in fact, spend six months in Iraq before she landed between this particular rock and hard place? And, once this situation came up, why do you not have a problem with the Army not granting compassionate leave given the difficulties in her family situation?

She was in Iraq when her home life dropped in the pot. I don't see how that's her fault. Arrangements had been made for care of her kids, until she got stabbed in the back by her husband's ex.

And you appear to be saying, "I don't care that the situation changed while you were on the other side of the world, I'm not going to give you a chance to get your home life sorted out before ordering you back into the breach."

[kshandra]

Okay, let's leave the issue of whether or not she's doing the right thing now. What the FUCK was she thinking in the first place? "Sorry, kids, Daddy and I have to go to the other side of the world, now. We could be back in six weeks, or six months, or you might never see us again. Be good for your grandma, okay?" I'm sorry, but I fail to see where that comes under the heading of responsible parenting.

[dafydd.livejournal.com]

And, which order would you prefer that she break?

1) The one from her Commanding Officer?

2) The one from the CO State Judge requiring that one parent stay home with the children?

[gridlore.livejournal.com]

The State judge. Mainly because She is a member of the United States Army, and cannot be ordered to do anything by a state judiciary bench.

Is she a hardship case? Probably. Should she have left the CONG when she had 5+2 kids? Absolutely. Are her actions going to end badly all around? Damn straight.

Her husband is equally at fault here. One of them should have seen this possibility coming, and left the Guard.

[aurictech.livejournal.com]

Pile some blame on the mother-in-law, too. If the event timeline in the article is correct, the mother-in-law waited until after the custody court case to spring her unwillingness to continue being the children's caretaker on the soldier-mom.

What I'm wondering is, why was the custody court case even going forward while the parents were deployed? Federal law prevents legal actions against service members while they are deployed.

[patagucci-thong.livejournal.com]

I agree. And what were they thinking only having ONE plan in place for the care of their children while they were gone? One individual on another board I'm on uses PACE (Primary, Alternative, Contingency, and Emergency plans), and they probably should have as well. Even just an alternative plan to the husband's mother watching the kids! Oh well. People aren't the smartest species ever.