The other candidates.

[gridlore]

First off, let us salute George Schwartzman, who, with 86% of the vote counted, has swept his immediate friends with 10 total votes to be the next Governor of the great state of California. Tough luck George.

Robert "Butch" Dole of Milpitas managed to gather 221 votes from confused people and Viagra users.

He may be the King of Pop, but Michael Jackson isn't the King of California with 653 votes. Hmmm... looks like The Gloved One has had more plastic surgery.

Congrats to Leonard Padilla, self-described Law School President and Bounty Hunter. 1,130 votes.

Richard Simmons collected 1,185 votes from people amused at the thought of the other Richard Simmons giving the State of the State address.

Angelyne got 2,228 votes from allegedly competent adults. Sorry, there is no way to improve on that. Just sit back, swig pure grain alcohol for a while, and try to get into the mindset that would cause you vote for Angelyne.

Badi Badiozamani got 2,884 votes as the only candidate with a name harder to spell than Schwartzeng.. Schwaering.. Arnie's. Sad thing is, he looks pretty qualified.

4,742 otherwise competent Californians decided that Leo Gallagher deserved to be governor. Drape the Capitol in plastic sheeting, quick!

Blast from the Very Recent Past Bill Simon, who actually managed to lose to Gov. Davis last year, got the same 6,734 campaign workers to vote for him that he did last November.

Mary Cook got 9,716 votes. It might have been more, but the ballots were stuck together.

And so we come to everybody's favorite in this insane campaign, Gary Coleman. 12,443 Nick at Night fanatics actually ventured forth into the sun to vote for the former child star and security guard.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, we come to the best part of this whole, sad affair. 15,010 of my fellow Californians had the courage, foresight, and sick senses of humor to back Larry Flynt! Democracy lives when Larry Flynt can get this many votes.

We've entered the realm of the people who took this seriously, but there is one more dig I just can't resist. The 18,416 people who voted for Peter Ueberroth, even though he had dropped out of the race, thought they were voting to make him the Commissioner of Baseball again. Come back Pete, we need you!

Whew. So that's it then. Note that these results are not final. But I think that George Schwartzman got ripped off.

Comments

[deyo.livejournal.com]

It would seem that your count was performed before Mr. Schwartzman's (http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/specials/election/candidate?rowsOffset=107) home county of San Diego (http://vote2003.ss.ca.gov/Returns/gov/37.htm) had completely published its results -- he had 1,432 of his 10,760 votes there, with 15090 of 15235 precincts reporting (http://vote2003.ss.ca.gov/Returns/gov/00.htm).

Flynt should be embarressed.

[murbin.livejournal.com]

He couldn't get a wider margin of victory over Gary Coleman?

[aurictech.livejournal.com]

As a followup, I note that Todd Richard Lewis has been declared (http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2003/10/09/LAST.TMP&nl=top) the candidate who garnered the lowest vote total in the recent recall election. With 172 votes (pending any recounts or additional absentee ballots), Lewis received 23 fewer votes than the next-lowest candidate, Los Angeles talk show host Gene Forte.