Family Values
Oct. 7th, 2003 09:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gridloreNext time someone talks about using Biblical law in America, remember these gems..
1. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5.) Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)
2. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed.(Deut 22:13-21) Marriage of a Christian and a pagan shall be forbidden. (Gen 24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30)
3. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be
construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)
4. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen. 38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)
5. The law must preserve the duty of each citizen to burn an ox as a sacrifice, regardless of whether the odor pleases the neighbors - as it does God - or not. (Lev 18:22)
6. Each citizen shall have the right to sell his daughter(s) into slavery, setting his own price. (Exodus 21:7)
7. All citizens may own slaves, like in the good old days, both male and female, so long as they're foreigners. (Lev 25:44)
8. Any citizen who finds his neighbor working on Sunday must kill him. (Exodus 35:2)
9. Eating shellfish of any sort must be deemed "an abomination," with penalties set by local law enforcement. (Lev 11:10)
10. Any citizen with poor eyesight and who nevertheless goes to church, shall be guilty of an abomination. (Lev 21:20)
11. Trimming the hair around the temples should be a capital crime. (Lev 19:27)
12. Since touching the skin of a dead pig makes one "unclean," no one can wear gloves made of pigskin. (Lev 11:6-8)
13. Anyone who plants two different crops in a field, who wears garments made of two different fabrics, or who curses or blasphemes, must be stoned to death. (Lev 19:19, 20:14)
Well, isn't that special?
1. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5.) Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)
2. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed.(Deut 22:13-21) Marriage of a Christian and a pagan shall be forbidden. (Gen 24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30)
3. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be
construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)
4. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen. 38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)
5. The law must preserve the duty of each citizen to burn an ox as a sacrifice, regardless of whether the odor pleases the neighbors - as it does God - or not. (Lev 18:22)
6. Each citizen shall have the right to sell his daughter(s) into slavery, setting his own price. (Exodus 21:7)
7. All citizens may own slaves, like in the good old days, both male and female, so long as they're foreigners. (Lev 25:44)
8. Any citizen who finds his neighbor working on Sunday must kill him. (Exodus 35:2)
9. Eating shellfish of any sort must be deemed "an abomination," with penalties set by local law enforcement. (Lev 11:10)
10. Any citizen with poor eyesight and who nevertheless goes to church, shall be guilty of an abomination. (Lev 21:20)
11. Trimming the hair around the temples should be a capital crime. (Lev 19:27)
12. Since touching the skin of a dead pig makes one "unclean," no one can wear gloves made of pigskin. (Lev 11:6-8)
13. Anyone who plants two different crops in a field, who wears garments made of two different fabrics, or who curses or blasphemes, must be stoned to death. (Lev 19:19, 20:14)
Well, isn't that special?
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Re: Pedantry...
Date: 8 Oct 2003 06:37 (UTC)