Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin!
Aug. 1st, 2003 01:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gridloreA bit of a rant about beards.
As y'all know, evolution has seen fit to bless 48% of Homo sapiens with dense facial hair. These women have it too, just much finer and it doesn't grow at an awesome rate. For some unknown reason, our culture demands that most men press a razor against the thinnest skin on the body (and right up against two major blood vessels) and scrape this hair off.
Men with beards are seen as evil or lecherous, We're supposed to be disreputable, or sloppy. Actually, most of us just look better with them. I can understand forbidding beards in places like the military, where we need to wear protective masks with a tight seal, but in a sales position? Or when driving Super Shuttles? I was one of the leaders of a revolt against SS's beard policy when they hired a driver with sockets through his earlobes. I'm serious. Big ones. If he could drive guests with Sears Craftsman products stuck in his anatomy, I can let my hair down, so to speak.
Shaving sucks. You have to do it by touch or in a mirror, across very sensitive skin, all to obey the dictates of fashion (yes, I know women are "expected" to shave their legs.. but if your leg hair is as dense as my beard, or grows as fast, your need to see a genetic specialist now.) One problem is that my beard runs from my collar bone to my sub-orbital ridge. Give me four weeks without shaving and I could get a job as Jo-Jo the Wolf Boy at a circus sideshow. The bloody thing itches as well. So I'm in no danger of growing a ZZ Top beard. (by the way.. anybody notice that Frank Beard is the only guy in the band who is clean shaven?)
In the movies, villains have beards. If Flash Gordon had shown up with a five-day growth, Dale would have thrown him out of the rocket. Some heroes can have beards - if they're wild men or have an excuse for not shaving.
This rant has been brought to you by the three nicks I just gave myself. Thank you.
As y'all know, evolution has seen fit to bless 48% of Homo sapiens with dense facial hair. These women have it too, just much finer and it doesn't grow at an awesome rate. For some unknown reason, our culture demands that most men press a razor against the thinnest skin on the body (and right up against two major blood vessels) and scrape this hair off.
Men with beards are seen as evil or lecherous, We're supposed to be disreputable, or sloppy. Actually, most of us just look better with them. I can understand forbidding beards in places like the military, where we need to wear protective masks with a tight seal, but in a sales position? Or when driving Super Shuttles? I was one of the leaders of a revolt against SS's beard policy when they hired a driver with sockets through his earlobes. I'm serious. Big ones. If he could drive guests with Sears Craftsman products stuck in his anatomy, I can let my hair down, so to speak.
Shaving sucks. You have to do it by touch or in a mirror, across very sensitive skin, all to obey the dictates of fashion (yes, I know women are "expected" to shave their legs.. but if your leg hair is as dense as my beard, or grows as fast, your need to see a genetic specialist now.) One problem is that my beard runs from my collar bone to my sub-orbital ridge. Give me four weeks without shaving and I could get a job as Jo-Jo the Wolf Boy at a circus sideshow. The bloody thing itches as well. So I'm in no danger of growing a ZZ Top beard. (by the way.. anybody notice that Frank Beard is the only guy in the band who is clean shaven?)
In the movies, villains have beards. If Flash Gordon had shown up with a five-day growth, Dale would have thrown him out of the rocket. Some heroes can have beards - if they're wild men or have an excuse for not shaving.
This rant has been brought to you by the three nicks I just gave myself. Thank you.
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no subject
Date: 1 Aug 2003 14:50 (UTC)no subject
Date: 1 Aug 2003 15:04 (UTC)Some men...don't look so good with beards. Another one of my exes wanted a beard very badly. The problem was that he looked rather like he had mange when he tried to grow one. He still looked that way after six weeks. Not pretty.
Facial Hair?
Date: 1 Aug 2003 18:27 (UTC)Actually I'd race you to see who could last without shaving... I love my smile pic with the beard so I kept it, but I've been clean shaven for over a year cause well, the BF prefers me smooth... something about chaffing... LOL