An interruption in service.
Jan. 15th, 2021 06:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gridloreI'm overwhelmed. I'm tired. I am at the end of my fucking emotion cope rope. What started as an eye exam for new glasses has spiraled into a possible systematic problem that could get added to my tattoo of ICD-10 codes. I've gone from seeing eye doctors to now having a Rheumatology consult and needing X-rays and a CT of my lower spine. One of my huge problems is Dr. G, my ophthalmologist, speaks very fast and softly with a Russian accent, and I'm so stressed from the eye exam I can barely follow here. She gave me a slew of new eye drops today and I nearly begged for her to write the use instructions.
Since I can't drive like this,kshandra was ferrying me around. We were in the drive-thru at the Wendy's next to Regional Medical Center when my phone rang. It was my PCP, who managed to explain most of what was happening in English. But so much information, with such a nebulous grasp of what could be wrong with me, has left me verklempt.
Plus, I'm going to not only be dropping steroids into my eyes, but I'm also going to be dilating them for the next week or so. This makes it impossible for me to make out words on the screen, so I'll be taking an enforced break from the net. And reading, it seems. Luckily, I can still see things on the TV.
I'm tired. I'm tired of lurching from crisis to crisis in this fucking body that has been failing me since 1995. It's very, very hard to keep up the brave face. I really just want to have it all stop, if I could get one fucking perfectly healthy day, the way I felt when I was 19, I'd trade it for another 15 years like this.
See y'all when I can see you again.
Since I can't drive like this,
kshandra was ferrying me around. We were in the drive-thru at the Wendy's next to Regional Medical Center when my phone rang. It was my PCP, who managed to explain most of what was happening in English. But so much information, with such a nebulous grasp of what could be wrong with me, has left me verklempt.Plus, I'm going to not only be dropping steroids into my eyes, but I'm also going to be dilating them for the next week or so. This makes it impossible for me to make out words on the screen, so I'll be taking an enforced break from the net. And reading, it seems. Luckily, I can still see things on the TV.
I'm tired. I'm tired of lurching from crisis to crisis in this fucking body that has been failing me since 1995. It's very, very hard to keep up the brave face. I really just want to have it all stop, if I could get one fucking perfectly healthy day, the way I felt when I was 19, I'd trade it for another 15 years like this.
See y'all when I can see you again.
no subject
Date: 19 Jan 2021 12:39 (UTC)