Rebuilding my mail sigs, I'm digging through the Traveller Mailing List's archives. I found this gem.
A handy guide to identifying San Franciscans during an earthquake:
Tourist - less than three years = runs in circles, screaming.
3 - 10 years = pauses, then heads under strong furniture or doorway. Has earthquake kit.
11 - 20 years = waits to see if it is the big one before budging from couch. Has "earthquake kit" consisting of flashlight with dead batteries, deck of cards, and an old army blanket.
21 - Native = waits for shaking to stop, then immediately starts placing bets on magnitude and epicenter. Has picked out stores to loot in case of the big one.