What should have happened when Pope Francis appeared on the blacony

[gridlore]

The new Pope (played by Antonio Bandares) emerges onto the balcony of the Apostolic Palace, motions for quiet, and then begins to sing...

 

[Francis]
Oh what a circus, oh what a scene
Vatican City has gone to town
Over the departure of Benedict Sixteen
We've all gone crazy
Conclaving all day and drinking all night
Falling over ourselves to get all of the pagentry right

Oh what an exit, that's how to leave
When they're ringing your curtain down
Demand to be retired like Benedict Sixteen 
It's quite a racket
And good for the Church in a roundabout way
We're trending globally on Twitter today

But who is this Benedictus XVI?
Why all this howling, hysterical sorrow?
What kind of Pontiff has lived among us?
How will we ever get by without him?

He had his moments, he had some style
The best show in town was the crowd
Outside the Palazzo Apostolico crying, "Santo Padre"
But that's all gone now
As soon as the smoke from the election clears
We're all gonna see and how, he did nothing for years

[Crowd:]
Patrem nostrum precamur te per fidem et tutelam Summus Pontifex Franciscum.
Da ei virtutem et sapientiam tanquam prophetam nostris.
Sit lux in tenebris spei per quam habetur.
Reconciliatio fit per fidem habeas disciplina pacis et iustitiae.
Da ei misericordiam et curam erga homines amoris Evangelio vivere.
Petri et Pauli in via, sequatur qui Spiritu Sancto repleti, qui salvat Domino invocate nomen praedicatur.

[Francis:]
You let down your people Benedictus
You were supposed to have served a lifetime
That's all they wanted, not much to ask for
But in the end you ran for cover

Pray you fools, but you got it wrong
Enjoy your prayers because you haven't got long
Your Church is dead, your Pope is through
And he's not coming back to you

Religious feats kept us all alive
Since Peter took the title in A.D. 65
But the masses fled, the glamour's worn thin
That's a pretty bad state for a faith to be in

Instead of guidance we had a stage
Instead of ideas, cover-ups raged
Instead of help we were given a crowd
He didn't say much, but he said it loud

Cheer you fools, but you got it wrong
Enjoy your prayers because you haven't got long
Your Church is dead, your Pope is through
He's not coming back to you

[Crowd:]
Patrem nostrum precamur te per fidem et tutelam Summus Pontifex Franciscum.
Da ei virtutem et sapientiam tanquam prophetam nostris.
Sit lux in tenebris spei per quam habetur.
Reconciliatio fit per fidem habeas disciplina pacis et iustitiae.
Da ei misericordiam et curam erga homines amoris Evangelio vivere.
Petri et Pauli in via, sequatur qui Spiritu Sancto repleti, qui salvat Domino invocate nomen praedicatur.

[Benedict XVI:]
Don't cry for me world Catholics
For I am hiding from criminal charges
And unwilling, to accept the burden
Unless we all are, I think we all aren't
So share my glory, so share my denial
So share my glory, so share my denial

[Francis:]
It's your mess too

Yeah, I'm going to that special Hell. Not my best effort, but I had to do it because.. Special Hell.

Oh, here's a great version of the original:

Comments

[filkerdave]

:D