A long-delayed dream fulfilled.
Sep. 18th, 2008 06:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Today, 25 years after enlisting, I finally got to rip a 2nd Lieutenant a new asshole.
I had a delivery at Camp Parks. Anyone who has ever driven on any military installation knows that the road regulations are numerous and change every fifty feet. Since the RFTA Police have the charming habit of arresting people who speed, I was maintaining a steady crawl, five miles an hour below the limit.
As part of this job, weight restrictions have been lifted on two roads so we can get to the building under construction without driving through areas were troops are active during the day. This makes sense, since a regular stream of trucks would disrupt training. So I was driving up Mitchel Dr. past a helipad when a HUMVEE races up behind me, flashing his lights. I can see the passenger pointing to the curb, so I pull over.
Knowing how military posts work, I expected that I was being moved aside for something high priority. Like the Post Commander's pizza or something. Instead, a Signal Corps butter-bar leaps from the vehicle, runs up to my truck, and...
2LT:(screaming) "Are you an idiot? This road is restricted to 1 ton vehicles! I should have you arrested!"
Me:(amused, at best) "Sir, with all due respect.."
2LT: "You are in trouble!! This road is clearly marked! I've had it with civilians ignoring the regulations!"
At this point, I'm getting out of my truck. Seeing this, the HUMVEE driver, a SFC, gets out and walks up.
Me: "Excuse me, SIR. But, I have a pass allowing construction vehicles to pass over this road." Brandishes paper. "In fact, sir, I am restricted to these specific, marked routes. Since you aren't an MP, and aren't a Federal cop, I'm wondering where the fuck you get off pulling me over!"
2LT is speechless, SFC is grinning.
Me: "You know, Lieutenant, it's been a long freaking time since I wore the uniform, but I seem to recall that we were expected to be polite and respectful to civilians. We were to treat them with the same respect given to superior officers. I have to say I'm saddened to learn that your ROTC course failed to instill this in your sorry leg ass." (He wasn't wearing jump wings. SFC was a Master Blaster.)
2LT: "You better be careful.."
Me: "OK, call the cops. I want to register a complaint about you unlawfully detaining me. I'd also like the name of your commanding officer. He will be hearing from me about you shocking lack of military bearing and complete idiocy.
2LT: walks away. SFC gives me a card with the battalion commanders name and number, and his.
SFC: "Let me guess, combat arms?"
Me: "Follow me, Sergeant!"
I called the Light Bird while on lunch, and explained that somebody needed to reign in Lieutenant Gumby.
Damn, I've wanted to call a LT an idiot to his face since my first platoon leader, all those years ago...
I had a delivery at Camp Parks. Anyone who has ever driven on any military installation knows that the road regulations are numerous and change every fifty feet. Since the RFTA Police have the charming habit of arresting people who speed, I was maintaining a steady crawl, five miles an hour below the limit.
As part of this job, weight restrictions have been lifted on two roads so we can get to the building under construction without driving through areas were troops are active during the day. This makes sense, since a regular stream of trucks would disrupt training. So I was driving up Mitchel Dr. past a helipad when a HUMVEE races up behind me, flashing his lights. I can see the passenger pointing to the curb, so I pull over.
Knowing how military posts work, I expected that I was being moved aside for something high priority. Like the Post Commander's pizza or something. Instead, a Signal Corps butter-bar leaps from the vehicle, runs up to my truck, and...
2LT:(screaming) "Are you an idiot? This road is restricted to 1 ton vehicles! I should have you arrested!"
Me:(amused, at best) "Sir, with all due respect.."
2LT: "You are in trouble!! This road is clearly marked! I've had it with civilians ignoring the regulations!"
At this point, I'm getting out of my truck. Seeing this, the HUMVEE driver, a SFC, gets out and walks up.
Me: "Excuse me, SIR. But, I have a pass allowing construction vehicles to pass over this road." Brandishes paper. "In fact, sir, I am restricted to these specific, marked routes. Since you aren't an MP, and aren't a Federal cop, I'm wondering where the fuck you get off pulling me over!"
2LT is speechless, SFC is grinning.
Me: "You know, Lieutenant, it's been a long freaking time since I wore the uniform, but I seem to recall that we were expected to be polite and respectful to civilians. We were to treat them with the same respect given to superior officers. I have to say I'm saddened to learn that your ROTC course failed to instill this in your sorry leg ass." (He wasn't wearing jump wings. SFC was a Master Blaster.)
2LT: "You better be careful.."
Me: "OK, call the cops. I want to register a complaint about you unlawfully detaining me. I'd also like the name of your commanding officer. He will be hearing from me about you shocking lack of military bearing and complete idiocy.
2LT: walks away. SFC gives me a card with the battalion commanders name and number, and his.
SFC: "Let me guess, combat arms?"
Me: "Follow me, Sergeant!"
I called the Light Bird while on lunch, and explained that somebody needed to reign in Lieutenant Gumby.
Damn, I've wanted to call a LT an idiot to his face since my first platoon leader, all those years ago...
no subject
Date: 19 Sep 2008 01:33 (UTC)no subject
Date: 19 Sep 2008 01:50 (UTC)no subject
Date: 19 Sep 2008 01:57 (UTC)OOO RAH!
no subject
Date: 19 Sep 2008 02:55 (UTC)no subject
Date: 19 Sep 2008 03:19 (UTC)no subject
Date: 19 Sep 2008 03:21 (UTC)*applauds*
Did Butter Bars have a compass and a map on him?
Ironically
Date: 19 Sep 2008 04:10 (UTC)Re: Ironically
Date: 19 Sep 2008 13:00 (UTC)Re: Ironically
Date: 20 Sep 2008 05:23 (UTC)no subject
Date: 19 Sep 2008 06:16 (UTC)Validation sweetens with age, agreed the guy who waited 20 years for the university to come to him on his terms.
W00T!111111
Date: 19 Sep 2008 07:00 (UTC)can i make the run next time? tell your boss i'll drive up and do it for free, just to meet the LT. %-)
Re: W00T!111111
Date: 19 Sep 2008 22:27 (UTC)no subject
Date: 19 Sep 2008 09:37 (UTC)no subject
Date: 19 Sep 2008 10:37 (UTC)"All things come to those who wait..."
no subject
Date: 19 Sep 2008 13:56 (UTC)no subject
Date: 19 Sep 2008 17:22 (UTC)no subject
Date: 19 Sep 2008 18:02 (UTC)What is a Master Blaster?
no subject
Date: 19 Sep 2008 21:20 (UTC)no subject
Date: 19 Sep 2008 22:26 (UTC)no subject
Date: 13 Mar 2009 21:52 (UTC)