I so need a trapdoor.

[gridlore]

For some reason, our little barrio has seen a huge upswing in door-to-door peddlers. Maybe the Immigration crackdown is forcing El Indocumentado out of their jobs. But now almost nightly I have to deal with people speaking no English trying to sell me everything from tamales to pirate videos. When I'm freaking bushed from work, I really dislike getting up to answer the door.

But that's not why I'm pissed, I'm pissed because pretty much every one of these pests knocks on the door constantly until i open it.

*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*knock*

It drives me nuts. I have never been anywhere where this is considered polite, or even marginally tolerable behavior. Hell, if I were still training new drivers at SuperShuttle, I'd seriously consider blackballing someone who did this.

So now, very tired, and in the middle of a rather extensive reply in Usenet, I get the machine-gun knocking. I leap up, open the door, and lay into the Central American immigrant standing there. I tell her never to come to our door again. ¡No mas!

I need to get "No Solicitor" signs in English and Spanish. Or a trapdoor.

iTunes for the win.

Comments

[twfarlan.livejournal.com]

Land mines. A poison-needle door knocker. A sign that says, "Solicitors please ring buzzer" in English, Spanish, and Portugese, with a grounded metal button wired to a building main circuit.

[gridlore.livejournal.com]

Locally the third language would be Vietnamese. But good suggestions.

[kengr]

Nah, they'll jail you for that.

But a cleverly "miswired" bell that zaps them with lower voltages might be doable.

[aurictech.livejournal.com]

Taking a page from Douglas Adams, I recommend a multilingual sign that reads "Beware of the leopard".

Didn't someone used to claim

[capplor.livejournal.com]

that they answered the door naked, and had no such problems?

Re: Didn't someone used to claim

[dalen-talas.livejournal.com]

One of my friends answered the Jehova's Witnesses like that. Except that he had a satanic-looking mask on and was holding a skull-staff.

Re: Didn't someone used to claim

[kshandra]

An ex of mine once answered the door for JWs...still in his Frank-n-Furter makeup & costume from the show the night before.

End of problem.

Re: Didn't someone used to claim

[johno.livejournal.com]

that was me.

Keep the local "go forth and convert your neighbors" church folks from knocking on my door on Sunday afternoons and Thursday mornings.

[lisa-marli.livejournal.com]

So far we've been lucky and haven't had too many of those yet. We usually can't hear them from the back of the house, as they always knock and only the door bell can be heard back here. Moose answers the door and we're starting to teach him "We don't want to buy anything." They usually wander away...

And that would be Colleen who answered the door naked.

[drewkitty.livejournal.com]

Answering the door armed usually scares this type off.

Not that I've ever done such a thing, of course.

I fondly remember the day I worked front reception armed. THe salescritters and solicitors . . . well, when I invited them to stay for a cup of coffee and that I had an appointment in just a few minutes that I'd have to focus on, they immediately discovered FTL just long enough to warp out of my quadrant. Realizing (correctly) that I wanted bullet-magnets for said confrontation.