OK, this is weak
Jul. 31st, 2003 07:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gridloreYesterday, I got a royalty check from SJG.. $42 bucks. Now by long agreement, my writing money is mine. It is not communal money, I can use it for anything I want. While swimming about today, I cashed the check. Forty-two bucks is the most money I've had in my wallet for some time.
So I ask Kiri to take me to the store.. I was thinking the makings for chocolate shakes. We get dinner first, I have Subway, Kiri has a burrito. Then we go to the store.
Where I wimp out. I bought several sensible things, like bread and more Gatorade, but when it came time to buy myself a treat I just could not do it! I looked at several things, and then kept telling myself that I shouldn't, that I didn't need it, that I could spend the money on something sensible.. Finally I made myself pick up a box of cupcakes and nearly ran to the checkout so I wouldn't put them back down. All the way, I felt guilty! Even though this was my money to waste as I saw fit.
I've forgotten how to treat myself. I will dither in bookstores, gaming stores, everyplace even when I have the disposable income.. I just feel guilty about spending! I've gotten too good at being poor. If we were to win the lottery, I'd be a terrible rich person.
So I ask Kiri to take me to the store.. I was thinking the makings for chocolate shakes. We get dinner first, I have Subway, Kiri has a burrito. Then we go to the store.
Where I wimp out. I bought several sensible things, like bread and more Gatorade, but when it came time to buy myself a treat I just could not do it! I looked at several things, and then kept telling myself that I shouldn't, that I didn't need it, that I could spend the money on something sensible.. Finally I made myself pick up a box of cupcakes and nearly ran to the checkout so I wouldn't put them back down. All the way, I felt guilty! Even though this was my money to waste as I saw fit.
I've forgotten how to treat myself. I will dither in bookstores, gaming stores, everyplace even when I have the disposable income.. I just feel guilty about spending! I've gotten too good at being poor. If we were to win the lottery, I'd be a terrible rich person.
