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Giftmass ramblings
Nov. 28th, 2017 01:40 pmAnd so the winter holiday season has come crashing down on us again like a truckload of old Sears catalogs. No matter which mid-winter festival you celebrate, and there are so many to chose from, the true faith of humanity, Capitalism and Greed, means that we will spend the next month being told that $50,000 automobiles (plus $699.99 for the giant red bow on top) are the perfect gift.
Personal rule: if it doesn't fit in the room where the holiday is being celebrated with family and/or friends, it's not a gift, it's an investment. So even that big red bow is off my list.
But here's why I'm so cynical about the approach of Giftmass. I'm not a material person. I've never wanted a huge pile of things. I look at these huge mansions of the rich and wonder what the hell they do with all the room! I love old maps and coins, but even if I had the money, I'd want the really cool pieces to go to museums where they could be admired by everyone. I seriously do not get buying a Monet and hanging it where no one else can see it.
I just don't get greed or the need for endless toys. I love books, but I don't hoard them. Even my beloved collection of role-playing games has been culled several times to remove stuff I no longer play. At my heart, I'm just a very utilitarian type.
Which makes buying me presents pretty hard. I have trouble coming up with things I want (right now my Amazon wishlist is almost entirely made up of books) and I don't understand many traditional gifts that people give. Kirsten is constantly frustrated by my "meh" attitude towards Giftpalooza.
Part of this may come from the aforementioned Sears' catalog. When it would show up in early October, I would pour over the toy section with the grim determination of detective searching for clues. I would examine every category, committing every detail of the Micronauts' Micropolis Megacity set to memory. Because I knew I wasn't getting it. My parents believed in not spoiling the kids. We got good gifts for the holidays, but never the overload some of my friends had. Which meant my wish list had to be limited to the things I really wanted and was likely to pass muster with the parental units.
I would also spend long hours staring at the hunting and outdoors section of the catalog. Sears sold guns back then. That particular obsession had to wait until I got into the Army, however. But what I would do with my extensive knowledge of every page of the catalog is dream. With the few Micronauts I had, I could just imagine the playsets I didn't own and write them into my adventures.
This early training has stayed with ever since. And once you can visualize what you want, the need to own it fades. When we would go to the beach house we used at Pajaro Dunes, I would sit on the porch and conjure up alien invaders fighting desperate Terran Marines in the sand, or just lie on the beach at night looking up at the stars and imagine the great fleets and clever traders plying the routes between the stars.
It's why I'm a good storyteller. I summon stories from the vasty deep, to paraphrase Shakespeare, and have learned to control them. It's why I always crave more books, especially biographies and histories, so I can learn more stories to share, even if I twist them a bit.
So that's where I am this holiday season, I'm the guy who has little and is mostly happy with it. But if any of you have a rich relative looking to make someone happy, I could use a few things.
A new Ford F-150 with optional 4x4, crew cab, 270-degree doors, 8-foot bed, and towing assistance package. All the electronics and touchscreen gizmos. Base white is good. I love my Ford Ranger, but an upgrade would be amazing. This would cost about $40,000.
To go with the new truck, a new trailer would be nice. A Chalet XL 1935 would be perfect. That's about $25,000. Permanent queen-sized bed, solar power, optional toilet and shower . . . better than our first apartment!
Finally, I need new dentures. What I really need is bone grafts on both jaws to rebuild mass, have posts inserted, and new dentures made so I can chew again. We've been told this would be a minimum of $15,000, more likely $18-20,000 for a really good job.
So there you go. Three material things I actually want. None of which are frivolous. Oh, and books. Keep the books coming.
Personal rule: if it doesn't fit in the room where the holiday is being celebrated with family and/or friends, it's not a gift, it's an investment. So even that big red bow is off my list.
But here's why I'm so cynical about the approach of Giftmass. I'm not a material person. I've never wanted a huge pile of things. I look at these huge mansions of the rich and wonder what the hell they do with all the room! I love old maps and coins, but even if I had the money, I'd want the really cool pieces to go to museums where they could be admired by everyone. I seriously do not get buying a Monet and hanging it where no one else can see it.
I just don't get greed or the need for endless toys. I love books, but I don't hoard them. Even my beloved collection of role-playing games has been culled several times to remove stuff I no longer play. At my heart, I'm just a very utilitarian type.
Which makes buying me presents pretty hard. I have trouble coming up with things I want (right now my Amazon wishlist is almost entirely made up of books) and I don't understand many traditional gifts that people give. Kirsten is constantly frustrated by my "meh" attitude towards Giftpalooza.
Part of this may come from the aforementioned Sears' catalog. When it would show up in early October, I would pour over the toy section with the grim determination of detective searching for clues. I would examine every category, committing every detail of the Micronauts' Micropolis Megacity set to memory. Because I knew I wasn't getting it. My parents believed in not spoiling the kids. We got good gifts for the holidays, but never the overload some of my friends had. Which meant my wish list had to be limited to the things I really wanted and was likely to pass muster with the parental units.
I would also spend long hours staring at the hunting and outdoors section of the catalog. Sears sold guns back then. That particular obsession had to wait until I got into the Army, however. But what I would do with my extensive knowledge of every page of the catalog is dream. With the few Micronauts I had, I could just imagine the playsets I didn't own and write them into my adventures.
This early training has stayed with ever since. And once you can visualize what you want, the need to own it fades. When we would go to the beach house we used at Pajaro Dunes, I would sit on the porch and conjure up alien invaders fighting desperate Terran Marines in the sand, or just lie on the beach at night looking up at the stars and imagine the great fleets and clever traders plying the routes between the stars.
It's why I'm a good storyteller. I summon stories from the vasty deep, to paraphrase Shakespeare, and have learned to control them. It's why I always crave more books, especially biographies and histories, so I can learn more stories to share, even if I twist them a bit.
So that's where I am this holiday season, I'm the guy who has little and is mostly happy with it. But if any of you have a rich relative looking to make someone happy, I could use a few things.
A new Ford F-150 with optional 4x4, crew cab, 270-degree doors, 8-foot bed, and towing assistance package. All the electronics and touchscreen gizmos. Base white is good. I love my Ford Ranger, but an upgrade would be amazing. This would cost about $40,000.
To go with the new truck, a new trailer would be nice. A Chalet XL 1935 would be perfect. That's about $25,000. Permanent queen-sized bed, solar power, optional toilet and shower . . . better than our first apartment!
Finally, I need new dentures. What I really need is bone grafts on both jaws to rebuild mass, have posts inserted, and new dentures made so I can chew again. We've been told this would be a minimum of $15,000, more likely $18-20,000 for a really good job.
So there you go. Three material things I actually want. None of which are frivolous. Oh, and books. Keep the books coming.
