I fucking hate epilepsy.

Last night, about 2130, Kiri and I both in bed at a reasonable hour for once, just settling down to sleep and blink I'm flat on my back sore all over, hyperventilating with Kiri hovering over me.

I seized again. About 40 seconds, according to my one witness. Gods, I would sell my soul to get rid of epilepsy. I'd happily keep everything else that cancer did to me just to never have to seize again. My meds, as good as they are, leave me a little fuzzy.. I know that I no longer think as sharply as I have in the past.

And I can't trust my body. It betrays me at the oddest moments, has tried to kill me... I'd really like a replacement, please!

This gods-damned illness has cost me my career, my dignity, and much of my hope. I fucking hate every second of it.