Clerks!

[gridlore]

Inspired by Medieval Death Bot on Twitter (@DeathMedieval) which is nothing but death notices from England in the 12th to 14th centuries. An amazing number of murders are ascribed to "clerks" who seem to have killed more Englishmen than the plague and recent World Cups combined.

So with great apologies to Ghost, I present my filk of Rats. This is a rough draft, suggestions welcomed. I decided to leave the last verse intact, as it needed no changes to fit the theme. Fun fact, if you reply to the Medieval Death Bot, it tells you how you have been killed.

Clerks, I'm willing to bet.


Clerks
ttto "Rats" by Ghost

In old-times England
With kings and queens
Your death was certain
But not by disease

They will be watching you no matter where you go
Dump you in a ditch
Laughing in their mirth
Them clerks! (clerks–clerks–clerks)

Into your hovel
You let them in
Now all your loved ones
Are missing skin
Stab you with a dagger valued 1 shilling and 6
With cudgels in their hands
Or with an iron pan

(Chorus)
Them clerks! (clerks–clerks–clerks)
Aaah whoah
Clerks! (clerks–clerks–clerks)
Aaah whoah
Clerks! (clerks–clerks–clerks)
Aaah whoah
Clerks! (clerks–clerks–clerks)
Aaah whoah

Their rampage seems to never have an end
Drown you in the moat
Smothered with a coat!
These inky killers are still coming for your throat
Kill for a trader’s purse
Planning so much worse!

(Chorus)

They're still coming after you
(Aaah whoah)
And there's nothing you can do
(Aaah whoah)
They're still coming after you
(Aaah whoah)
And there's nothing you can do
(Aaah whoah)
Clerks!