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gridloreI read trivia books (like the Bathroom Reader series) obsessively and haunt weird news and factoid websites. Sometimes, what I read and what I think up on my own get a bit muddled in my head.
That's evidently what happened last night. I mentioned to Kirsten that I had read an alternate theory on the movie Labyrinth on cracked.com. Searching that site this morning, and a wider net search after that, show that I'm the one on crack. Guess I came up with this myself, and misfiled it in my brain. Oh well. But let me share with you my little theory that turns Labyrinth from a fun fantasy romp with Muppets and David Bowie in very tight pants into a horror film. (Spoilers ahead!)
Remember the Junk Lady and the recreation of Sarah's bedroom followed almost immediately by the hallucinated ball scene? Those are the turning points. In the movie, Sarah recognizes both as traps, escapes, and easily defeats Jareth by quoting from a book called "Labyrinth"(!) which is all about a girl confronting the Goblin King over a stolen child(!!). Sarah finds herself back at home. Until her allies from the film appear in mirrors, stating that if she ever needs them they'll be there for her. Sarah says she does need them, and suddenly it's party in Sarah's room. Outside the window, Jareth watches in his owl form then flies away.
Here's my theory. Sarah never escaped the illusion. Her whole easy confrontation with Jareth and return home was fake. Why? Jareth is obviously not a goblin. He's human. Gods know how long he's been the Goblin King, but he needs an heir. That heir is Toby. But he needs another human to raise Toby until he's old enough to become Jareth's full-time apprentice. Sarah will live in a dream world, thinking herself so responsible for helping to raise Toby, never noticing her ever-shrinking world. Totally trapped within her own illusion.
This was off course long planned. Toby must have been identified before birth as the next heir. Hell, I can see years of subtle manipulation to create an appropriate heir. And Sarah? Who do you think slipped her a book so obviously magical in nature? She was so obsessed with this book that she ignores everything else to memorize it and act it out. Her role is this tragedy was equally planned out in advance.
But what happens when Toby leaves the nest? What happens when Jareth no longer needs the nanny and the illusion is shattered? Remember the Junk Lady? The one who managed, in the middle of the Labyrinth, to recreate Sarah's memories of home by grabbing things at random that were of significance to her? If the Goblin King is human, and the heir requires a human nanny, who raised Jareth and what happened to her?
There's Sarah's fate. Shattered when Jareth allows the illusion of home to slip, she becomes the next Junk Lady, searching the Labyrinth for her shattered memories and carrying them on her back. Shrinking, collapsing in on herself, until she is practically a goblin. Who knows how many Junk Ladies wander lost through that maze.
How long will this horrific existence last? Well, in the film when Jareth flies off at the end, the credits start in the middle of the song Underground at the lines: "It's only forever, not long at all."
I am a twisted bastard. Unless of course I actually did read this somewhere else and filtered it.
That's evidently what happened last night. I mentioned to Kirsten that I had read an alternate theory on the movie Labyrinth on cracked.com. Searching that site this morning, and a wider net search after that, show that I'm the one on crack. Guess I came up with this myself, and misfiled it in my brain. Oh well. But let me share with you my little theory that turns Labyrinth from a fun fantasy romp with Muppets and David Bowie in very tight pants into a horror film. (Spoilers ahead!)
Remember the Junk Lady and the recreation of Sarah's bedroom followed almost immediately by the hallucinated ball scene? Those are the turning points. In the movie, Sarah recognizes both as traps, escapes, and easily defeats Jareth by quoting from a book called "Labyrinth"(!) which is all about a girl confronting the Goblin King over a stolen child(!!). Sarah finds herself back at home. Until her allies from the film appear in mirrors, stating that if she ever needs them they'll be there for her. Sarah says she does need them, and suddenly it's party in Sarah's room. Outside the window, Jareth watches in his owl form then flies away.
Here's my theory. Sarah never escaped the illusion. Her whole easy confrontation with Jareth and return home was fake. Why? Jareth is obviously not a goblin. He's human. Gods know how long he's been the Goblin King, but he needs an heir. That heir is Toby. But he needs another human to raise Toby until he's old enough to become Jareth's full-time apprentice. Sarah will live in a dream world, thinking herself so responsible for helping to raise Toby, never noticing her ever-shrinking world. Totally trapped within her own illusion.
This was off course long planned. Toby must have been identified before birth as the next heir. Hell, I can see years of subtle manipulation to create an appropriate heir. And Sarah? Who do you think slipped her a book so obviously magical in nature? She was so obsessed with this book that she ignores everything else to memorize it and act it out. Her role is this tragedy was equally planned out in advance.
But what happens when Toby leaves the nest? What happens when Jareth no longer needs the nanny and the illusion is shattered? Remember the Junk Lady? The one who managed, in the middle of the Labyrinth, to recreate Sarah's memories of home by grabbing things at random that were of significance to her? If the Goblin King is human, and the heir requires a human nanny, who raised Jareth and what happened to her?
There's Sarah's fate. Shattered when Jareth allows the illusion of home to slip, she becomes the next Junk Lady, searching the Labyrinth for her shattered memories and carrying them on her back. Shrinking, collapsing in on herself, until she is practically a goblin. Who knows how many Junk Ladies wander lost through that maze.
How long will this horrific existence last? Well, in the film when Jareth flies off at the end, the credits start in the middle of the song Underground at the lines: "It's only forever, not long at all."
I am a twisted bastard. Unless of course I actually did read this somewhere else and filtered it.
