Countdown to memes!
Jan. 1st, 2009 06:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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benkenobigal
Ten things you wish you could say to 10 different people right now (no names):
1. "Drunk and stupid is no way to go through life. You can't help stupid, but work on the drunk part."
2. "You are in the position you are in because you suck at your job. Nothing else."
3. "Next time we hear screaming, we're making popcorn and staring through your windows."
4. "Get out of the damn car, walk fifteen feet, and ring the doorbell, pendejo. Honking isn't working."
5. "Boy, were we wrong about you."
6. "Retire already, you moron!"
7. "I am a professional driver who has been doing this route for close to three years. Listen to me."
8. "We laugh at you behind your back."
9. "Respect is earned. Which is why you get none."
10. "Your brother died over a year ago. The hard-hat memorial is just creepy at this point."
Nine things about yourself:
1. I'm left-handed.
2. Before chemotherapy, I had very thick, curly hair.
3. I'm paranoid about dropping things down elevator shafts.
4. Normally, I wake up a few minutes before my alarm goes off.
5. When I'm angry or frustrated, I rub my temples.
6. I dislike being touched.
7. I have zero fashion sense, but love Project Runway
8. In the same vein, I'm the pickiest eater on Earth, but love Top Chef
9. I've never, in all my weird adventures, broken a bone.
Eight ways to win your heart:
1. Be smart.
2. Exhibit a perverse sense of humor.
3. Be honorable.
4. Go to a Giants game with me, and geek about pitching.
5. Be dedicated to something, anything.
6. Be well read
7. Three rounds, center mass, 500 meters? I'm yours!
8. Be yourself.
Seven things that cross your mind a lot:
1. My dentures are bugging me.
2. No one on the planet but me can drive.
3. Halford is god
4. Is it baseball season yet?
5. Wait, where am I? Oh, yeah.
6. Want bears.
7. I am so writing about this in LiveJournal.
Six things you wish you could do:
1. Juggle (I've tried, just not my thing.)
2. Play guitar.
3. Sing well.
4. Write with ease.
5. Fly a helicopter.
6. Grow my hair to rock star lengths.
Five turn-ons:
1. Eyes
2. Sense of humor
3. Intensity
4. Sarcasm
5. Intelligence
Four turn-offs:
1. Hypocrisy
2. Being fake
3. Clubbing
4. Shallow conversation.
Three careers you would consider:
1. Police dispatcher
2. Politician
3. Teacher
Two things you want before you die:
1. Drink a rare Bordeaux, at least 3 grand a bottle, to accompany a microwave burrito.
2. Throw out the first pitch at a Giants game.
One confession:
1. I really can't wait for Israel to sweep Gaza clean. I've had it with the whinging of the Palestinians and their "progressive" supporters.
benkenobigalTen things you wish you could say to 10 different people right now (no names):
1. "Drunk and stupid is no way to go through life. You can't help stupid, but work on the drunk part."
2. "You are in the position you are in because you suck at your job. Nothing else."
3. "Next time we hear screaming, we're making popcorn and staring through your windows."
4. "Get out of the damn car, walk fifteen feet, and ring the doorbell, pendejo. Honking isn't working."
5. "Boy, were we wrong about you."
6. "Retire already, you moron!"
7. "I am a professional driver who has been doing this route for close to three years. Listen to me."
8. "We laugh at you behind your back."
9. "Respect is earned. Which is why you get none."
10. "Your brother died over a year ago. The hard-hat memorial is just creepy at this point."
Nine things about yourself:
1. I'm left-handed.
2. Before chemotherapy, I had very thick, curly hair.
3. I'm paranoid about dropping things down elevator shafts.
4. Normally, I wake up a few minutes before my alarm goes off.
5. When I'm angry or frustrated, I rub my temples.
6. I dislike being touched.
7. I have zero fashion sense, but love Project Runway
8. In the same vein, I'm the pickiest eater on Earth, but love Top Chef
9. I've never, in all my weird adventures, broken a bone.
Eight ways to win your heart:
1. Be smart.
2. Exhibit a perverse sense of humor.
3. Be honorable.
4. Go to a Giants game with me, and geek about pitching.
5. Be dedicated to something, anything.
6. Be well read
7. Three rounds, center mass, 500 meters? I'm yours!
8. Be yourself.
Seven things that cross your mind a lot:
1. My dentures are bugging me.
2. No one on the planet but me can drive.
3. Halford is god
4. Is it baseball season yet?
5. Wait, where am I? Oh, yeah.
6. Want bears.
7. I am so writing about this in LiveJournal.
Six things you wish you could do:
1. Juggle (I've tried, just not my thing.)
2. Play guitar.
3. Sing well.
4. Write with ease.
5. Fly a helicopter.
6. Grow my hair to rock star lengths.
Five turn-ons:
1. Eyes
2. Sense of humor
3. Intensity
4. Sarcasm
5. Intelligence
Four turn-offs:
1. Hypocrisy
2. Being fake
3. Clubbing
4. Shallow conversation.
Three careers you would consider:
1. Police dispatcher
2. Politician
3. Teacher
Two things you want before you die:
1. Drink a rare Bordeaux, at least 3 grand a bottle, to accompany a microwave burrito.
2. Throw out the first pitch at a Giants game.
One confession:
1. I really can't wait for Israel to sweep Gaza clean. I've had it with the whinging of the Palestinians and their "progressive" supporters.
