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Comparison of military operational tactics (Snake model)
Infantry: Snake smells them, leaves area.
Airborne: Lands on and kills the snake.
Airborne Ranger: Plays with snake, then eats it.
Armor: Runs over snake, laughs, and looks for more snakes.
Aviation: Blinks while aiming, destroys local village instead, swears the snake had a Stinger locked on him.
Field Artillery: Kills snake with massive Time On Target barrage with three Forward Artillery Brigades in support. Kills several hundred civilians as unavoidable collateral damage. Mission is considered a success and all participants (i.e., cooks, mechanics and clerks) are awarded Silver Stars.
Special Forces: Makes contact with snake, ignores all State Department directives and Theater Commander Rules of Engagement by building rapport with snake and winning its heart and mind. Trains it to kill other snakes. Files enormous travel settlement upon return.
Combat Engineer: Studies snake. Prepares in-depth doctrinal thesis in obscure 5 series Field Manual about how to defeat snake using counter mobility assets. Complains that maneuver forces don't understand how to properly conduct doctrinal counter-snake ops.
Navy SEAL: Expends all ammunition and calls for naval gunfire support in failed attempt to kill snake. Snake bites SEAL and retreats to safety. Hollywood makes fantasy film in which SEALS kill Muslim extremist snakes.
Navy: Fires off 50 cruise missiles from various types of ships, kills snake and makes presentation to Senate Appropriations Committee on how Naval forces are the most cost-effective means of anti-snake Force projection.
Marine Corps: Kills snake by accident while looking for souvenirs. Local civilians demand removal of all US forces from Area of Operations.
Marine Recon: Follows snake, gets lost.
Air Force: Has GPS coordinates to snake. Can't find snake. Returns to base for refuel, crew rest and manicure.
Feel free to add your MOS to the list.
Airborne: Lands on and kills the snake.
Airborne Ranger: Plays with snake, then eats it.
Armor: Runs over snake, laughs, and looks for more snakes.
Aviation: Blinks while aiming, destroys local village instead, swears the snake had a Stinger locked on him.
Field Artillery: Kills snake with massive Time On Target barrage with three Forward Artillery Brigades in support. Kills several hundred civilians as unavoidable collateral damage. Mission is considered a success and all participants (i.e., cooks, mechanics and clerks) are awarded Silver Stars.
Special Forces: Makes contact with snake, ignores all State Department directives and Theater Commander Rules of Engagement by building rapport with snake and winning its heart and mind. Trains it to kill other snakes. Files enormous travel settlement upon return.
Combat Engineer: Studies snake. Prepares in-depth doctrinal thesis in obscure 5 series Field Manual about how to defeat snake using counter mobility assets. Complains that maneuver forces don't understand how to properly conduct doctrinal counter-snake ops.
Navy SEAL: Expends all ammunition and calls for naval gunfire support in failed attempt to kill snake. Snake bites SEAL and retreats to safety. Hollywood makes fantasy film in which SEALS kill Muslim extremist snakes.
Navy: Fires off 50 cruise missiles from various types of ships, kills snake and makes presentation to Senate Appropriations Committee on how Naval forces are the most cost-effective means of anti-snake Force projection.
Marine Corps: Kills snake by accident while looking for souvenirs. Local civilians demand removal of all US forces from Area of Operations.
Marine Recon: Follows snake, gets lost.
Air Force: Has GPS coordinates to snake. Can't find snake. Returns to base for refuel, crew rest and manicure.
Feel free to add your MOS to the list.
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Cyberwarfare: Ignore the snake, too busy dealing with worms.
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Marine Supply: Paints snake green, and stencils USMC on snake. Enters snake in unit Table of Organization as supernumerary supply clerk.
Marine Aviation: hangs basket of snakes from helicopter door. Drops snakes as the mood strikes. Recovers snakes for future missions, due to shortage of snakes in supply system.
HQMC: Promotes snake to Major General. Assigns snake staff of 20 including a driver with staff car. Complains bitterly about Army snakes getting three stars.
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Army Supply: driver sees suspected snake in middle of road halts convoy. Traffic snafu ties up entire logistics route. Another 4,000 snake bite kits not delivered for ten hours. Logistician writes detailed military history thesis on why this caused us to lose the Snake War, suggests future air transport of all vital war material.
Army MPs: upon determining that worn tire tread in middle of road is not a snake, arrest it for interrogation and eventual repatriation.
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