If only he had scored, we would have gotten the fat guy dance.

Watch out Devin Hester, Jacoby Ford and Joshua Cribbs -- big Dan Connolly is about to revolutionize the art of returning kickoffs.

Immediately after unheralded Green Bay Packers quarterback Matt Flynn increased his team's lead to 17-7 on Sunday night at Gillette Stadium, the 6-foot-4, 313-pound right guard scooped up Mason Crosby's squib kick on the ensuing kickoff. He wrapped both of his arms around the ball as he slowly pushed ahead to try and get a few extra yards, then made a cut to his right and turned on the afterburners for a 71-yard return all the way down to the Packers' 4.

It didn't take long for the Elias Sports Bureau to confirm that Connolly's return was the longest in NFL history by an offensive lineman, which means the man used to only hearing his name called after he was caught holding will get to keep that football in a special place.

Two plays later, Patriots quarterback Tom Brady capitalized on the eye-popping moment by completing a 2-yard touchdown pass to rookie tight end Aaron Hernandez with 1:08 remaining in the first half. That allowed New England to go into the locker room trailing by just a field goal instead of 10 points.

But no matter what happened from that point on, Connolly's epic display of speed and grace by one of the big men in the trenches was destined to be the talk of the game. He even threw a stiff arm as he closed in on the end zone, with the ball firmly wrapped in his left arm like a loaf of bread.

Watch the play. You really got to see this one.

Congress is still in session, right?

We were just discussing my health here.

Me: "Even if they do fire me, I can apply for Federal SSI, since I lost my job due to health issues."

Kiri: "True."

Me: "And apply for food stamps, and beer stamps.. they do make beer stamps, right? Right?"

Kiri: laughs in a Joan Crawford to Bette Davis manner.


So.. no beer stamps?

Ours is still a wild planet.

We're a few days from 2011. I'm communicating with y'all through a global network of computers that even most science-fiction writers failed to predict. I've had several organs removed and am thriving. You me, and the guy down the street are the results of 6,000 years of culture starting with the realization that one could plant seeds and get food on a regular basis. We stride across the globe and are reaching for the stars.

Yet on a tiny island in the Andaman Islands east of India, none of that happened. The people of North Sentinel Island have lived in isolation for an estimated 60,000 years. They are incredibly xenophobic, attacking just about anyone who comes close. Large groups they hide from. Clothing, beyond broad belts and decorations, is unknown. They seem to like the color red. They decorate their shelters with painted pig skulls.

That's all we know about them. Their language, social organization, religion.. everything else is a mystery.

The Andamans used to have several such tribes. Most were assimilated (and destroyed, culturally) by the British, but one, the Jarawa people, fought off all attempts at contact. After 200 years of intermittent contact we understand less an a dozen words of their language, and the authorities in the islands have no clue if the next time the Jarawa come out of their mountain redoubts they'll be coming for handouts or to kill anyone they can find.

Read this fascinating article. Then watch this video. Remember, these are people who have been isolated for ten times longer than humans have had writing. What's amazing is how they make use of found iron and steel. Their tools are wood and bone, but flotsam washes up all the time (additionally, there's at least one shipwreck on the island's reef). You can see in the video that a couple of the people are carrying modern knives. They also hammer small bits of iron to form barbs for arrow and spear tips.

While reading about these amazing relics, I came across a blood-chilling story. The Indian government has place North Sentinel Island off-limits for good reason. Two fishermen decided to poach in the waters. The Sentinelli caught them. The fishermen managed a distress call. When the Indian Army sent a helicopter to rescue the poachers, it was driven off by massed arrow fire from the beach... but not before exposing the shallow graves of the fishermen. The bodies had been savaged.

Why they will kill and mutilate some while allowing others to approach close enough to accept gifts of coconuts (as seen in the video) is just one of the many mysteries.

If you want to see the island for yourself, you can. It takes about a week of flying and boat travel, plus bribing a fisherman to take you out there and bribing the authorities to look the other way. But it's that last part, where you go back into our own past that's the tricky one.