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Because I'm evil like that.
I will occasionally answer a spam call by accident. Since 90% of them are robots, I just hang up. Today, it was a person, and I was bored.
Spammer: (the moment I say Hello) "I'm calling from the law firm of Identity, Theft, and Fraud about your recent accident. We want you to know that you are in line to get handsome compensation in damages.
Me: "Oh, that's wonderful! It was really terrible, you know."
Spammer: "I just need a few details, like your name . . ."
Me: (cutting him off) "I mean there we were just driving down the road, and we get hit by a train! Who knew those tracks were active? But anyway, our truck was totaled and we both died. I want to sue somebody!"
Spammer: ". . . died?"
Me: "Oh yeah, torn to bits. Luckily my big sister is a necromancer and was able to raise us both. Of course, now we have to avoid direct sunlight, can't enter holy ground, and feed off the flesh of the living, but at least we have our health, am I right?
Spammer: "If I could get your name, sir . . ."
Me: "I'm not comfortable doing this over the phone. If I give you my address could you send a representative over? Preferably one who works out, has a low body fat level, and no close relatives?"
Spammer: *click*
Spammer: (the moment I say Hello) "I'm calling from the law firm of Identity, Theft, and Fraud about your recent accident. We want you to know that you are in line to get handsome compensation in damages.
Me: "Oh, that's wonderful! It was really terrible, you know."
Spammer: "I just need a few details, like your name . . ."
Me: (cutting him off) "I mean there we were just driving down the road, and we get hit by a train! Who knew those tracks were active? But anyway, our truck was totaled and we both died. I want to sue somebody!"
Spammer: ". . . died?"
Me: "Oh yeah, torn to bits. Luckily my big sister is a necromancer and was able to raise us both. Of course, now we have to avoid direct sunlight, can't enter holy ground, and feed off the flesh of the living, but at least we have our health, am I right?
Spammer: "If I could get your name, sir . . ."
Me: "I'm not comfortable doing this over the phone. If I give you my address could you send a representative over? Preferably one who works out, has a low body fat level, and no close relatives?"
Spammer: *click*
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Somebody remembers Tom Mabe…
https://youtu.be/8_ux35q2HPE
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Sometimes I wish I were in "Oooh, let's play with the mousie!" mode when spammers call, but mostly I want to rip out their lying tongues.
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I'm usually just savvy enough to ask 'are you human?' to week out the 'bots ... and try remembering to never, ever -EVER- say 'yes'.
Going the 'cool story' route rarely occurs to me until -long- after I've hung up.
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