Weapons of Spider Destruction

[gridlore]

Arriving home at last after a astoundingly crazy day at work (you can gage how bad the day is by how often I call kshandra to bitch. Today, my Bluetooth was just asking me if I wanted to keep the line open just in case) I find no parking in front of the place. Knowing Kiri is out, I think that I'll just park Darby in the garage.

Opening the door reveals an amazing number of spider webs, thick enough to pick up a plastic cup that happened to be on the ground. I move the truck in, and walking out notice a particularly dense mass of webbing. What really caught my eye was that most of the corpses entombed were spiders.

Intriged, I looked closer. My mistake.

Inside that web was the biggest, fattest, Black Widow I have ever seen in my life! Seriously, this spider's abdomen was nearly spherical and about 8mm across. I am no fan of spiders, and Latrodectus hesperus in particular freak me out. Great huge examples of the same? I start feeling the need for Claymore mines and artillery support.

Lacking the phone number for the SJPD's artillery unit, I did the next best thing. I went upstairs to get our ant and roach spray, and went off on the spider. During my chemical warfare attack, I noticed a smaller, brownish spider descending from the webbing. A little research shows this was probably a male.

They're breeding.

After doing my best to make our garage door an EPA Superfund site, I called Kiri and asked her to pick up two things on her way home.

1. Spider-specific spray


2. Lottery tickets

We need to money to move to a less-spider friendly place.

Comments

[dalen-talas.livejournal.com]

Chem and artillery support is good, but what you really need for hunting big bugs is a suit of power armor. And, where available, orbital bombardments (they're the only way to be sure).

[claidheamhmor]

You called for a Claymore? :)

Scary stuff. I'm guessing being a spider-lover and gently picking them up by hand and taking them outside wasn't an option... :)

[bkwrrm-tx.livejournal.com]

AACK!

KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL!

Can you tell I'm arachniphobic? TONS of bug bombs, and possibly hiring a couple homeless drifters to go in with Shoes O'Doom to smash the hell out of anything still moving, after.

::ugh, shudder::

[seawasp]

I'm not an arachnophobe, but anything significantly venomous needs complete and utter destruction. It, and all its descendants.

[seawasp]

Except for Sea Wasps, of course. :)

[gridlore.livejournal.com]

I was about to say!

[supersniffles.livejournal.com]

I remember the time I brought a piece of furniture in from an outdoor storage place (a garage, I think). We discovered a Widow on it a couple days later and got her dealt with and then a couple weeks after that...her babies hatched!!!!!!
And I sprayed every last one of them into a horrible spidery death!

[fusijui.livejournal.com]

Thank you, gridlore & supersniffles, for ensuring that I will be on edge for the next few days every time a loose hair drops down my collar, every time a breeze touches my back or head, every time there is any motion of any kind anywhere in my peripheral field of vision...