Oh, how cute. A pest.

[gridlore]

I've picked up a.. hard to describe, really. doyoudreamatall made a post a few days ago in highweirdness that was nothing but a court docket number. I poked around his journal and found he is one of those special people who thinks his every emission is somehow relevant and artistic. I told him so in a comment.

Just now I checked my mail to see pictures Ann had sent of Kylie and Regan, and what do I find? This loser is going through my entire journal, day by day, and sending what I suppose he thinks are clever insults. See for yourself:

http://gridlore.livejournal.com/1213.html

http://gridlore.livejournal.com/17903.html

http://gridlore.livejournal.com/22040.html

http://gridlore.livejournal.com/169701.html

http://gridlore.livejournal.com/279949.html

That's right, he went back to March 2001. I cannot begin to grok the mind that would devote itself to reading all 4,894 entries spread out over the last seven years. And the quality of the insults? By Halford's shiny head, I was getting worse in the fifth grade! He, of course, goes for all the "old geezer" attempts, not knowing that I like being an old geezer. He's also stated that he's going to reveal to kshandra what a douche I am. Like she didn't figure that out years ago.

The moron has already claimed victory in his little "slack war." To quote a famous squid, I have not yet begun to fight!

Comments

[caerbannogbunny.livejournal.com]

It might be amusing to let him.

I mean, everyone needs a hobby and 4900 posts, one-by-one...

...keeps him occupied.

[gridlore.livejournal.com]

Oh, I have no intention of stopping him! I'm eagerly awaiting his next set of comments!

[jeffreycornish.livejournal.com]

Does he realize your skill set?

You are an author. There could be a supplement containing a NPC who provides comedy relief by being humiliated in hundreds of different ways.

[gridlore.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but White Wolf cornered the "sad, pathetic emo" market years ago, and they went belly up.

[twfarlan.livejournal.com]

My dear sir, had I but realized that you are so utterly bereft of amusement that you are left with only a battle of wits against an unarmed opponent to break up the tedium, I would have been happy to offer some other recommendations of pursuits perhaps more worthy of your time. Self-mutilation comes to mind, as does watching paint dry and seeing how long it takes to get high off the fumes.

[gridlore.livejournal.com]

Oh, the best thing about this is it's like going to Pamplona and watching other morons get chased by angry sides of beef. They do all the work, expose themselves as morons, and we get to sit back, drink beer, and laugh.

[twfarlan.livejournal.com]

I salute your resolve, sir. Reading the examples you posted, I can only say that I have seen more creativity and wit on the insides of Bazooka Joe wrappers than has been displayed by your new ankle-nibbling stalker.

[gridlore.livejournal.com]

I think we need to age him, like a bottle of really cheap wine.

[twfarlan.livejournal.com]

I am concerned that those attempting to educate him in the fine art of caustic wordplay will find themselves casting pearls before swine. As has been said, you cannot teach a pig to sing. Your efforts frustrate you and annoy the pig. Truly high-quality insults and invective are going to fly over his uncouth, uncultured head. It would be like giving him a fine bordeaux when his palette is only refined to the point that he can tell the difference between Thunderbird and Chateaux Chunder.

[gridlore.livejournal.com]

Remember, padawan, I was a sniper. I'm not going to do anything, just let him wander around making a fool of himself (well, more of a fool) and maybe take one or two shots.

And, given the money, I'd prefer a Château Lafite-Rothschild.

[twfarlan.livejournal.com]

With all due respect, when it comes to sarcastic by-play and hurtful remarks, my good sir, I am hardly a learner.

[dandelion-diva.livejournal.com]

Wow. Talk about the poster child for "Too Much Time On My Hands".

And now I have an earworm.

[supersniffles.livejournal.com]

Thanks, now so do I!

[capplor.livejournal.com]

I'm almost inclined to twat him one just to see what inanity he would try on my LJ. Of course, if we keep him busy enough he won't have time to go out & create the income necessary to maintain his hobby, unless he really is living in his mother's basement.

& BTW:

[capplor.livejournal.com]

We ALL know what a douche you are, it's one of your more endearing features.

[madelineusher.livejournal.com]

I wish I got stalkers sometimes.

[grimmwire.livejournal.com]

Douche: I've entered a pool on which major piece of landscape will be destroyed by fiery chuniks of communist doom!

Douche's New Friend: Doug, Your journal reads like a cereal box.

Damn, I want to know what cereal this guy's been eating!

[meglimir.livejournal.com]

if you find out, *share*! LOL

[pauldrye.livejournal.com]

Honey Bunches o' C4, clearly.

[eleri.livejournal.com]

*Kittens tea*

[chaotic-nipple.livejournal.com]

Awww, they're so cute at that age when they first discover drama...

[meglimir.livejournal.com]

He has no life - possibly an involuntary condition - and it has made him ... *odd* ... Could be worse. The overall effect IMHO is still on the "amusing" side of the "amusing-to-nasty" spectrum ...

And, I'm thoroughly enjoying how you handle it :D

[benkenobigal.livejournal.com]

I am continually amazed at how pathetic people can be. Is he attempting to be clever?? He just reveals himself as pitiful. I think I'd be bothered more by my migraine.

[shadowcat48li.livejournal.com]

are we allowed to fire counterbattery? or would that just make matters worse?

[gridlore.livejournal.com]

Well, he appears to have beat a hasty retreat (http://doyoudreamatall.livejournal.com/78122.html)... but, since I'm a "douche", feel free.