gridlore | Unbelievable

I am currently engaged in one of the strangest discussions I have ever seen on the ConJose mailing list, A newbie ask for advise on how to enjoy his first World Con, and the comments flowed into convention etiquette. I mentioned that some people (like me) dislike being hugged without warning, so please ask first.

So far, I've been told that I need to see a shrink, been accused in private mail of being psychopathic, and told that if this person sees me they will hug me, consequences be damned.

Why is it so bloody hard for people to realize and accept that I just do not like being touched? Why do I have to wear a button that says Ask Before Hugging? What does it say about fandom that there is a market for these buttons?

To be clear: I understand and accept inadvertent contact like you get in crowded elevators and queues. Being tapped on the shoulder in a noisy place, is okay. But unless I have invited any other form of contact, please do not assume that I want to hug you! I have very good reasons for this.

Christ, I may get a spiked jacket at this rate.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm with you on this one. It's pretty darn unreasonable to expect a person to enjoy unsolicited hugs by a stranger. I don't even have as good a reason as you had stated to dislike it, I'm just not a touchy feely person unless we're talking my spouse, a family member or a *close* long term friend. As long as the person has the manners to ask first and take a "no" for an answer there's not a problem. But, the people who don't ask?!? What are they thinking? Why and where do they get the idea that it's ok to do more than offer to shake a near stranger's hand? Would they offer hugs at work? School? A park or the mall?