Sgt.: We haven't done them, have we? Right. Bananas. How to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana. Now you, come at me with this banana. Catch! Now, it's quite simple to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana. First of all you force him to drop the banana; then, second, you eat the banana, thus disarming him. You have now rendered him 'elpless.
Palin: Suppose he's got a bunch?
Sgt.: Shut up.
Idle: Suppose he's got a pointed stick?
Sgt.: Shut up. Right now you, Mr Apricot.
Chapman: 'Arrison.
Sgt.: Sorry, Mr. 'Arrison. Come at me with that banana. Hold it like that, that's it. Now attack me with it. Come on! Come on! Come at me! Come at me then! (Shoots him.)
Chapman: Aaagh! (dies.)
Sgt.: Now, I eat the banana. (Does so.)
Palin: You shot him!
Jones: He's dead!
Idle: He's completely dead!
Sgt.: I have now eaten the banana. The deceased, Mr Apricot, is now 'elpless.
More Self-Defense Against Fresh Fruit (http://www.montypython.net/scripts/fruit.php)
Hey you...I have some advice if you'd like to listen...
Save all the pubs you work on for WorldCon. Get together some of the books you have written. Copy out some of the best from the books...
Next, put it together in a portfolio...get as much stuff that you've put together that is "technical" as you can. Anything you've done with cool style is a good thing. See if a certain flower we know could help you get a resume together to highlight your writing and editing work...
Next, start talking to groups like Kelly Services and some temp agencies like that and see if you could get a job in an office writing or editing. You're good from what I understand (I have not read any of your work but know people that have and who have praised it)...and an office job might be a whole hell of alot less stress and safer for you with some of the health issues you have.
Hon, I have confidence in you...you *can* do this and I think it would be cool if you could translate some of that gaming design knowledge into some procedures writing and manual writing (we NEED people who can write clearly and well about procedures and data...which is what you do in game design all the time).
Free advice, worth what you paid for it... Faith da Virtue and Soon-to-be-MommaWench
Lucky for you I have no bananas.. But I have some loverly tomatoes.. Perhaps I will tomato and basil you.. But good luck on your insanity.. Oh wait.. You are already insane :)
Fresh fruit or over-ripe? Fresh would probably hurt more, but over-ripe would be messier...you could make this so much easier if you just agreed to be pied.;)
Good luck...I think you'll do fabulously.
Gesi
Official Statement from ConJose Publications Division
I just want it noted for the record that he approached me. I never even suggested it. He IMed me during my otherwise half-peaceful workday and lulled me into a false sense of general chit-chat before popping the question no good convention division manager ever says "no" to without good reason.
That is all.@
Re: Official Statement from ConJose Publications Division
I'm going to let you in on a small secret. Writing for the convention newsletter is a creampuff job provided you can string five coherent sentences together. 80% of it is transcription, and the other 20% is practically handed to you. Worse, Bob and I have this bizarre belief that our staff should (a) see some of the convention and (b) work the hours they need to in order to see the parts they want to insofar as is previously arranged. The less said about the one erstwhile party reviewer we had who decided on the last night of the convention that a White Wolf universe-based card game was more important than the deadline, the better.Â
Re: Official Statement from ConJose Publications Division
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
You are totally...
Have a bannana...
Re: You are totally...
Sgt.: All right then, bananas.
(All sigh.)
Sgt.: We haven't done them, have we? Right. Bananas. How to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana. Now you, come at me with this banana. Catch! Now, it's quite simple to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana. First of all you force him to drop the banana; then, second, you eat the banana, thus disarming him. You have now rendered him 'elpless.
Palin: Suppose he's got a bunch?
Sgt.: Shut up.
Idle: Suppose he's got a pointed stick?
Sgt.: Shut up. Right now you, Mr Apricot.
Chapman: 'Arrison.
Sgt.: Sorry, Mr. 'Arrison. Come at me with that banana. Hold it like that, that's it. Now attack me with it. Come on! Come on! Come at me! Come at me then! (Shoots him.)
Chapman: Aaagh! (dies.)
Sgt.: Now, I eat the banana. (Does so.)
Palin: You shot him!
Jones: He's dead!
Idle: He's completely dead!
Sgt.: I have now eaten the banana. The deceased, Mr Apricot, is now 'elpless.
More Self-Defense Against Fresh Fruit (http://www.montypython.net/scripts/fruit.php)
I refuse to pelt you with fruit....but...
Save all the pubs you work on for WorldCon. Get together some of the books you have written. Copy out some of the best from the books...
Next, put it together in a portfolio...get as much stuff that you've put together that is "technical" as you can. Anything you've done with cool style is a good thing. See if a certain flower we know could help you get a resume together to highlight your writing and editing work...
Next, start talking to groups like Kelly Services and some temp agencies like that and see if you could get a job in an office writing or editing. You're good from what I understand (I have not read any of your work but know people that have and who have praised it)...and an office job might be a whole hell of alot less stress and safer for you with some of the health issues you have.
Hon, I have confidence in you...you *can* do this and I think it would be cool if you could translate some of that gaming design knowledge into some procedures writing and manual writing (we NEED people who can write clearly and well about procedures and data...which is what you do in game design all the time).
Free advice, worth what you paid for it...
Faith
da Virtue and Soon-to-be-MommaWench
no subject
no subject
Good luck...I think you'll do fabulously.
Gesi
Official Statement from ConJose Publications Division
That is all.@
Re: Official Statement from ConJose Publications Division
Re: Official Statement from ConJose Publications Division
To be honest, I'm looking forward to it, but the general reaction around here has been "you fool!"
Re: Official Statement from ConJose Publications Division
Re: Official Statement from ConJose Publications Division
Re: Official Statement from ConJose Publications Division
Re: Official Statement from ConJose Publications Division
Re: Official Statement from ConJose Publications Division
No, but you get to be one of the Official Jackals of the 2002 WorldCon, which should be enough for anyone.
-M