Great joke

[gridlore]

Patrick O'Riley left County Cork for Philadelphia where he found a job
on a building site. When payday rolled around Pat went out on the town,
got drunk as a skunk and spent the night with a prostitute. The next day
(Saturday) Pat feels the need to go to confession and tell all. After
the priest had heard his confession he told Pat to say twenty Our
Fathers, twenty Hail Marys, and twenty decades of the Rosary and to put
$20 in the poor box.

Two weeks later Pat's mate, Mike O'Brien, told Pat that he was leaving
for San Antonio because there was plenty of work there and the money to
be made was more than what could be made in Philly. After a little
coaxing Pat thinks aye and he will go with Mike. After his first
paycheck on his new job Pat's wages were quite a bit more than what he'd
made before. Off he goes for a night on the town, gets roarin' drunk
and spends the night with a prostitute. Come morning and again remorse
sets in and off Pat goes to St. Brigid's for confession. After hearing
Pat's confession the priest tells him to say a couple of Our Father's
and drop a dollar in the poor box.

"But, Father, I did the same thing in Philly and I had to say twenty Our
Fathers, twenty Hail Marys, twenty decades of the Rosary and I had to
put $20 in the poor box."

"Ah, sure," the priest responded, "and what do they know aboot drinkin'
and fookin' in San Antonio?"

Comments

[bunyip.livejournal.com]

I like it

[isomeme.livejournal.com]

A boy at Catholic school is in the confessional. He finishes the preliminaries and starts in. "Father, I did wrong this week. I kissed a girl."

The priest tut-tuts. "I see, my son. Was it Kate O'Bannon, then?"

"No, Father, not her."

The priest pauses. "Mary Higgins, perhaps?"

The boy responds "No, Father."

"Sure and it was Ann Conway, then?" asks the priest.

The boy replies "No, Father, 'twasn't her either."

The priest thinks a moment longer, and then says "Say ten Hail Maries, three dozen rosaries, and off you go then and sin no more."

Relieved, the boy exits the confessional. A friend of his, still waiting, whispers "What did you get?"

"Ten Hail Maries, three dozen rosaries, and three hot prospects."

[griffen.livejournal.com]

Later in the week, the same boy goes back to confession, to a different (and younger) priest, and confesses that he's managed to convince the Misses Higgins, Conway and O'Bannon, all three, to kiss him.

The priest mm-hmms and tut-tuts until the boy follows this up with the startling admission that all three young ladies kissed him at the same time, at which point the priest interrupts, "Young man, you're not confessing any more. Now you're just bragging."

[kengr]

Shouldn't that be "Philadelphia" in the last line?

[kengr]

Three girls are waiting for confession.

The first goes in and tells the priest that she'd let her boyfriend touch her breasts. The priest assigns her some prayers and tells her to wash her breasts with holy water.

The second goes in and tells the priest that she let her boyfriend talk her into giving him a hand job. She's assigned prayers and told to wash her hands with holy water.

The two girls are at the holy water font when the third girl walks up.

"Move over girls, I've got to gargle..."

[rosefox]

The same three girls are back a week later. The priest is hearing the confession of the third when there's a terrible commotion out by the fountain. He rushes out, saying, "Girls, girls, what's going on here?"

"Well," one declares, "she won't let me gargle before she sits in it!"