gridlore: Doug looking off camera with a grin (drama)
Douglas Berry ([personal profile] gridlore) wrote2003-10-07 09:15 pm

Family Values

Next time someone talks about using Biblical law in America, remember these gems..

1. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5.) Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)

2. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed.(Deut 22:13-21) Marriage of a Christian and a pagan shall be forbidden. (Gen 24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30)

3. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be
construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)

4. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen. 38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)

5. The law must preserve the duty of each citizen to burn an ox as a sacrifice, regardless of whether the odor pleases the neighbors - as it does God - or not. (Lev 18:22)

6. Each citizen shall have the right to sell his daughter(s) into slavery, setting his own price. (Exodus 21:7)

7. All citizens may own slaves, like in the good old days, both male and female, so long as they're foreigners. (Lev 25:44)

8. Any citizen who finds his neighbor working on Sunday must kill him. (Exodus 35:2)

9. Eating shellfish of any sort must be deemed "an abomination," with penalties set by local law enforcement. (Lev 11:10)

10. Any citizen with poor eyesight and who nevertheless goes to church, shall be guilty of an abomination. (Lev 21:20)

11. Trimming the hair around the temples should be a capital crime. (Lev 19:27)

12. Since touching the skin of a dead pig makes one "unclean," no one can wear gloves made of pigskin. (Lev 11:6-8)

13. Anyone who plants two different crops in a field, who wears garments made of two different fabrics, or who curses or blasphemes, must be stoned to death. (Lev 19:19, 20:14)

Well, isn't that special?

Re: Pedantry...

[identity profile] xiombarg.livejournal.com 2003-10-08 06:37 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, wait, you included that one in the end, there, kinda...