gridlore: Doug looking off camera with a grin (Penguin - Carpe)
Douglas Berry ([personal profile] gridlore) wrote2005-07-06 06:25 pm
Entry tags:

This guy won the prize.

Anyone who has known me for any length of time knows my position on the "homeless." In short, I divide this demographic into two groups: The truly homeless, people who have fallen on hard times and are working like hell to improve their situation; and the bums. The bums are the ones who don't seem to care that they live in filth, the ones who will sit begging for quarters ten feet from stores with "Help Wanted" signs in the windows.

I will move heaven and earth to help the first group when I can. The second group can go to hell.

This attitude means that I ignore most beggars. The exceptions are the guys selling the Street Sheet, since they are working for the money - the homeless write, layout, deliver, and sell the paper themselves. The next exceptions are the street musicians. again, they are doing something for my money.

The final exception are the guys who are so original, so startling in their approach that they stand out from the crowd. The first guy with a sign that said "Why Lie? I Need a Beer." got a quarter from me. But the homeless guy at the CalTrain station after the game last night has set the bar very, very high. His entire shtick was a neatly lettered cardboard sign reading

FAMILY KIDNAPPED BY NINJAS
NEED MONEY FOR KARATE LESSONS.


He got two bucks from me. That's probably a record.

[identity profile] eleri.livejournal.com 2005-07-07 02:31 am (UTC)(link)
Blade has often spoken of getting some guys together, dressing up in suits, and holding cardboard signs at the onramps that say "Downsized" and "outsourced"... and then explaining to anyone who gives them money that they're really collecting for a charity.

[identity profile] jarlsberg71.livejournal.com 2005-07-07 03:45 am (UTC)(link)
It was goodfriday on 1993 and my friends and I were walking from south ferry in manhattan to Grand Central on 42nd (about 60 blocks up ) We did this cause we were stupid college kids. This guy comes out of an alley, looked us straight in the eye and said

"Excusem Moi, Parlez Vous Fran-Change?"

We laughed so hard and gave him $5 to have a good easter weekend.

[identity profile] notthebuddha.livejournal.com 2005-07-07 03:50 am (UTC)(link)
A lot of places won't hire bums who don't have a place to clean up. And some homeless have disabilities that keep them from scoring and holding a job. I meet a lot of these folks at a plasma donation center. I physically cannot stay awake all day every day and this has gotten me the sack three times, two of them from the best jobs I've ever had.

Now, you certainly have a right to complain. You have chewed your way through two worlds of shit under arms and in oncology, and I respect you immensely for it. You've already paid these people the ultimate compliment by putting your life between them and the reast of the world. But it seems pretty harsh, coming from you right after you were rejected a zillion times for no reason, despite being neat and clean.

(Anonymous) 2005-07-07 07:31 am (UTC)(link)
The last time I was up in Austin, we were stopped at a light an saw a guy holding up a sign. As we got closer we were able to read it, and it said "Compare my prices to other homeless". I laughed so hard I had to give him a couiple of bucks.

[identity profile] grimmwire.livejournal.com 2005-07-07 06:22 pm (UTC)(link)
a neatly lettered cardboard sign reading
FAMILY KIDNAPPED BY NINJAS
NEED MONEY FOR KARATE LESSONS.


One of the better panhandling signs I've seen. And obviously an effective one.

Interestingly, you're the second person on LJ who has blogged this sign in the past two weeks (can't recall who the other was). I've seen the same sign in Montreal, and a commenter on LJ said they saw it in Vancouver.

Panhandling memes! Who knew?