Herb Caen Days.

[gridlore]

The San Francisco Chronicle is doing a series of events to celebrate the life and career of legendary columnist Herb Caen. One of them is a Caen writing contest. First prize is tickets to the Giants home opener, a limo ride to the game, and best of all, you get photographed in front of Herb's Loyal Royal.

I think I already have my entry written. It just needs a little polishing.

Comments

[valkyrwench.livejournal.com]

Nice. It seems pretty polished already.

[isomeme.livejournal.com]

Very nice! You triggered a serious flashback, there.

[kshandra]

Considering how many of us invoked Herb's name when you first posted that, I rather think you're obligated to send it in.... Just promise me you'll still speak to all of us after you've won. ;-)

Nice writing!

[figmo.livejournal.com]

Speaking as a writer, you need to clean up the grammar (punctuation, really) a little. Specifically, you have a few commas that ought to be semicolons, a few ellipses with spaces after them (spaces don't belong after ellipses unless they're the end of a sentence, in which case they have four dots instead of three), and one ellipsis with two dots that needs a third.

As for the wording itself, I wouldn't touch it. It's there. If you don't enter it we'll all line up to kill you. :-)