Head Cold Canon Accepted!
So far, I've spent all of 2018 battling a terrible cold. I'm really disappointed in you, New Year! I expected more. Less snot, more wonder, if you know what I mean. I would like to point out that I spelled disappointed correctly, which never happens. In fact, I've typed about fifty words so far and Grammarly hasn't dinged me once.
At least until I misspelled "Grammarly." Oh, savor the irony.
But yeah, I'm sick. Stuffed head, coughing, sneezing, and feel a bit like Constantinople in 1453: run down and bits of me are crumbling into ruin. How's that for a tortured metaphor? The United Nations should investigate my writing. At least I'd get to visit The Hauge when I'm charged with crimes against the written word.
"It wasn't me, your Honor, it was my spellcheck! It was LibreOffice that done me in!" I'd scream as they locked me away. Followed by a cunning escape that would involve a fake Hope Diamond, a Sopwith Camel, and an actual camel painted in RAF colors. It would be just as fun and just as plausible as some of the plans you see in heist films. Which I'm addicted to, by the way, and I will always love the end of the original 1969 version of The Italian Job. A literal cliffhanger.
As you might be able to tell, I'm a little random today. This is due to my brain floating in a sea of snot, resulting in bad connections all around. My aphasia was on fine display this morning, and I should be happy because it throttled what was going to be a terrible joke.
So in that spirit of randomness, here's a theory I've come up with: Dr. Frank-N-Furter, Riff-Raff, and Magenta from the Rocky Horror Picture Show are Eldar. If you're not familiar with that term, the Eldar are the Space Elves of the Warhammer: 40,000 setting. A race that used to rule the galaxy until they were corrupted by chaos and fell. Eldar are known for being hedonistic and cruel. Which describes the goings-on at the Frankenstein place pretty well.
Here's how it falls out: the man who will become the God-Emperor of Man is alive today. He's been alive for about 10,000 years at this point, he's pretty special. He is also perhaps the most powerful psyker in history. It would only make sense that the Eldar, not too shabby when it comes to psychic powers themselves, would detect this rogue talent and send a team to investigate.
The problem comes when the mission commander gives himself over to absolute pleasure; abandoning the mission in favor of swimming the warm waters of sins of the flesh. By the time Riff-Raff manages to warn the Eldar of the mission being compromised, Frank has gone over the edge. It really was a mercy killing.
By the way, if Riff's laser was capable of emitting a beam of pure antimatter, then hitting Columbia with it would have resulted in an explosion of about 2.54 gigatons. Which would about the energy of ten Hurrican Katrinas in one spot.
Luckily, this ending would have saved us from both arguments over Super Heroes and the sequel.
A variant on this theory is that the Eldar find a way to send a team back through time to kill the God-Emperor. This makes The Time Warp a very different song. Either way, I like the idea that the same race that produced the Striking Scorpions also produced the Sweet Tranvestite.
Now I wish I had everything required to paint an Eldar unit as a Rocky Horror unit. Can you roll to disbelieve in WH40K?
This was brought on by the book I'm currently reading, the Forges of Mars omnibus, by Graham McNeill. The Adeptus Mechanicus is a favorite of mine. They don't worship the God-Emperor, instead, they show reverence to the Machine God, the Omnissiah. Eagerly replace flesh with machines, the Priests of Mars are barely human, but still subject to the same petty urges that make us meat beings so much fun. Of course, this is all wrapped in the Grimdark Future of WH40K. But it is a great set of novels covering a massive expedition to the galaxy's edge and a region of space where time seems to be messed up.
I mean, this book as everything! Imperial Titans, the Guard, dour Space Marines, Rogue Traders, scrappy underdogs, sly Eldar (and not so sly Eldar who just want to kill everything) and an expedition lost for 4,000 years that seems to still be functioning. About halfway through, and I'm loving the characters he creates. Just goes to show that good characters make the science-fiction elements better.
At least until I misspelled "Grammarly." Oh, savor the irony.
But yeah, I'm sick. Stuffed head, coughing, sneezing, and feel a bit like Constantinople in 1453: run down and bits of me are crumbling into ruin. How's that for a tortured metaphor? The United Nations should investigate my writing. At least I'd get to visit The Hauge when I'm charged with crimes against the written word.
"It wasn't me, your Honor, it was my spellcheck! It was LibreOffice that done me in!" I'd scream as they locked me away. Followed by a cunning escape that would involve a fake Hope Diamond, a Sopwith Camel, and an actual camel painted in RAF colors. It would be just as fun and just as plausible as some of the plans you see in heist films. Which I'm addicted to, by the way, and I will always love the end of the original 1969 version of The Italian Job. A literal cliffhanger.
As you might be able to tell, I'm a little random today. This is due to my brain floating in a sea of snot, resulting in bad connections all around. My aphasia was on fine display this morning, and I should be happy because it throttled what was going to be a terrible joke.
So in that spirit of randomness, here's a theory I've come up with: Dr. Frank-N-Furter, Riff-Raff, and Magenta from the Rocky Horror Picture Show are Eldar. If you're not familiar with that term, the Eldar are the Space Elves of the Warhammer: 40,000 setting. A race that used to rule the galaxy until they were corrupted by chaos and fell. Eldar are known for being hedonistic and cruel. Which describes the goings-on at the Frankenstein place pretty well.
Here's how it falls out: the man who will become the God-Emperor of Man is alive today. He's been alive for about 10,000 years at this point, he's pretty special. He is also perhaps the most powerful psyker in history. It would only make sense that the Eldar, not too shabby when it comes to psychic powers themselves, would detect this rogue talent and send a team to investigate.
The problem comes when the mission commander gives himself over to absolute pleasure; abandoning the mission in favor of swimming the warm waters of sins of the flesh. By the time Riff-Raff manages to warn the Eldar of the mission being compromised, Frank has gone over the edge. It really was a mercy killing.
By the way, if Riff's laser was capable of emitting a beam of pure antimatter, then hitting Columbia with it would have resulted in an explosion of about 2.54 gigatons. Which would about the energy of ten Hurrican Katrinas in one spot.
Luckily, this ending would have saved us from both arguments over Super Heroes and the sequel.
A variant on this theory is that the Eldar find a way to send a team back through time to kill the God-Emperor. This makes The Time Warp a very different song. Either way, I like the idea that the same race that produced the Striking Scorpions also produced the Sweet Tranvestite.
Now I wish I had everything required to paint an Eldar unit as a Rocky Horror unit. Can you roll to disbelieve in WH40K?
This was brought on by the book I'm currently reading, the Forges of Mars omnibus, by Graham McNeill. The Adeptus Mechanicus is a favorite of mine. They don't worship the God-Emperor, instead, they show reverence to the Machine God, the Omnissiah. Eagerly replace flesh with machines, the Priests of Mars are barely human, but still subject to the same petty urges that make us meat beings so much fun. Of course, this is all wrapped in the Grimdark Future of WH40K. But it is a great set of novels covering a massive expedition to the galaxy's edge and a region of space where time seems to be messed up.
I mean, this book as everything! Imperial Titans, the Guard, dour Space Marines, Rogue Traders, scrappy underdogs, sly Eldar (and not so sly Eldar who just want to kill everything) and an expedition lost for 4,000 years that seems to still be functioning. About halfway through, and I'm loving the characters he creates. Just goes to show that good characters make the science-fiction elements better.