ConCom
filk by Douglas E. Berry
ttto: Convoy by Wiiliam D. Fries, Jr. & Louis F. Davies, Jr.
All lyrics in parenthesis are to be spoken.
(Yeah, if everybody could settle down, I'm this year's chair,)
(Can you hear me in the back, Pigpen?)
(Ah yeah, thanks for that, Pigpen, we've got a lot to go through)
(By golly we got a lot to do in the next 14 months.)
(Yeah, it's a big job there Pigpen. But we definitely got a good group here.)
(Mercy sakes alive, looks like we got us a ConCom)
It was the dark of the moon on the sixth of June
In the hotel's all-night bar
Kevin and Andy with lampshades on
And Garcia posting blogs
We were drinking the news that our bid had won
Word had come from an ill-timed Tweet
I says Pigpen, you're in charge of guests
This con's going to be so sweet
Cause we got a little concom, workin' thru the night
Yeah we got a little concom, and everything is all right
Come on and join our concom, we've ribbons to give away
We're gonna run a big convention, come next Labor Day...
Concom
(Ah, yeah, Pigpen you got any ideas for Writer GOH?)
(OK, Al Bester would be great, but he's dead.)
(Maybe you should ask your second for ideas.)
By the time we got to New Year's Eve we had 85 vols in all
But FurNationFest is coming soon
And our numbers start to fall
Yeah them Furries' thick as bugs on a bumper
The attention was getting us miffed
So we sent Pigpen in as a fur-clad spy
And he came back thoroughly yiffed
Cause we got a great big concom, workin' thru the night
Yeah we got a great big concom, and everything is all right
Come on and join our concom, we've ribbons to give away
We're gonna run a huge convention, come next Labor Day...
Concom
(Ah, you want to repeat what you just told me, Pigpen?)
(Ah, hell no, Pigpen, I do not want to see pictures!)
(Yeah some things that happen at the Airport Hilton should stay at the
Airport Hilton.)
(Mercy's sakes you did not just post that to Facebook!)
Well we thundered down to our move in date
Like a rocket sled on rails
We tore up all of our hotel deals
As the lawyers told sad tales
By the time we hit the one month mark
The con was was running out of space
We had to rent a banquet hall
From the Sisters of Perpetual Grace
There's a dealer's hall and art and games
And Boffers with rattan clubs
Yeah them hotel rooms was full of fans
And sodas filled the tubs
Well we'd done our best
We went for broke
For two thousand screaming fans
And eleven longhaired body builders
Dressed as barbarians
(Ah, Chair? This is Security 1. You awake?)
(Yeah, ten-four Security.)
(Um, the barbarians just seized the breakfast buffet. They're going to
sacrifice an omelet to Crom.)
(Have you had one of those omelets? OK, OK... I'll be right down.)
Well we made it through to Saturday night
And everything was running fine
But the Masquerade was jam-packed
And just couldn't run on time
I says "Pigpen, it's past 1 AM
And we got 87 costumes to go."
So we shut 'er down, everyone had won
I says "Let them parties roll, ye-hah!"
Cause we got a mighty concom,, workin' thru the night
Yeah we got a mighty concom and everything is all right
Come on and join our concom, we've ribbons to give away
We're running a big convention, 'till the end of Labor Day...
Concom
(So Pigpen. Any ideas for GOH next year? CARD?)
(Yeah, maybe we oughta let somebody else handle guests next time).
(Well mercy sakes good buddy, we gotta start getting ready for tear down,)
(So keep the mundanes at bay and FIAWOL.)
(We'll catch you at the Dead Dog.)
(This here's the ex-Chair on the way to bed. We gone. bye bye.)
