Friday Fiver

1. Do you play cards? A little poker.

2. Do you have any rings on your hands? No. I'm not the jewelery type. I went through three wedding rings before we gave up on the idea.

3. Would you describe yourself as innocent? ROTFLMAO! Um, no.

4. What do you think of chivalry? It's a good thing. Being polite and respectful to others makes the world better.

5. Have you seen The Thomas Crown Affair? The 1968 original. No interest in the remake.

Death to Idiotic Telemarketers!

OK, so I'm home sick today. The Creeping Yuck, been fighting it for a week, today it was just too much to get behind the wheel. Today, therefore, is given over to playing Nethack badly and cursing the fact that I'm still not able to upload my mind into a bush robot.

Then the phone rings. My cell phone, to be precise. Which is very weird, since usually the only person who calls me is kshandra, and she knows I'm home be miserable (moreso than usual, I should say.)

I get up to get the phone, it's not a number I recognize, and answer it. It's a telemarketer from the Mercury News. He starts his spiel, and not wanting to waste his time (I know a few people who have work this gig in the past, and they tell me that they'd rather hear a polite "not interested" early on rather than go through the entire script and get hung up on) I immediately said "Sorry, I'm not interested."

"Well," says he, "when was the last time you read The Mercury News?"

"a few days ago at work, but I.."

No use, he was off and running, despite the fact that I was still speaking! I stated clearly that I was not interested, and that I wanted this number removed from their call list.

Finally, he stops after saying that all he needs is my address to set me up for an offer I've refused eight times in 30 seconds.

With as much self-control as I could muster, I told him to get a supervisor. I took a few tries to get it through his skull that I wasn't giving my address, and really wanted to speak to a person in charge.

Best part? No hold. He put the phone down on the desk or table so I could hear him whinge about the "asshole" who wanted to speak with a supervisor.

When the supervisor got on the line, I politely told her about my issues with the call, starting with the fact that they called a cell phone, going onto to the bulldozer sales pitch, and ending with the fact that I overheard the rep's conservation. She sounded a bit put out by what had happened. I got an apology and a promise that the rep would be "spoken to about his pitch" and that my number would be marked as a mobile.

Crossposted to my journal and bad_service

The Decline and Fall of the Dwarvish Empire

About a year ago, I made a post based on my reading of Guns, Germs, and Steel regarding a different take on the traditional fantasy elf. You can read the whole thing if you like. Basically, since the elves didn't have the usual drive to settle down and establish agriculture, they never would have advanced past the "Chieftain" stage - many clans and tribes loosely tied together under the leadership of a (usually) hereditary strongman. No writing, no real metal working, no cities.

Now I'm finishing up Collapse, the "sequel" to GG&S. This book examines why some societies fail in remarkably short periods of time. The Greenland Norse, Easter Island, the Maya.. all successful societies that vanished practically overnight. This book has given me insight into that other fantasy staple, the Dwarfs. Traditionally, dwarfs are highly organized, have advanced (for the genre) technology, and are materially rich. So why aren't they running things?

( Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair )