2003-08-19
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"A laugh riot!" - Tim Goodman, San Francisco Chronicle
Yeah, I wish.
| My LiveJournal Sitcom |
|---|
| Gridlore And Me (CBS, 4:30): gridlore (Kate Beckinsale) tries to seduce soobunny (David Boreanaz) at an alley. The next day, femakita (Lauren Bacall) and hellloooonurse (Emma Thompson) perform slapstick at a hotel. Then, mdlbear (Charlize Theron) eats sinboy (Rob Schneider)'s raspberry cheesecake. That same day, deyo (Heath Ledger) is allergic to jarlsberg71 (Morgan Fairchild)'s VCR. At the same time, blackfyr (Lucille Ball)'s new shirt bleeds in the wash and stains all of murbin (Winona Ryder)'s underwear pink. Zany antics follow. |
| What's Your LiveJournal Sitcom? (by rfreebern) |
Oy.
Earthlink just redid their news servers. I'm logging into the new one, and it evidently has decided I need the last year of Usenet postings. For alt.atheism, that's 116,818 posts.
Thank Ghu for DSL.
Thank Ghu for DSL.
A joke about the Attorney General of the United States.
If I vanish after posting this, please forward my royalty checks to Camp X-Ray, Cuba.
Ashcroft visits a school and talks with the kids, he asks if there are any questions?
A young boy named Bobby raises his hand and says, "I have three questions:
1. Why are you using the USA Patriot Act to limit Americans' civil liberties?
2. Why hasn't the U.S. caught Osama bin Laden yet?
3. Why haven't we found the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq?"
Just then the bell sounds and all the kids run out to the playground. Fifteen minutes later, the kids come back in class and Ashcroft says,
"I'm sorry we were interrupted by the bell. Now, you can all ask me questions."
A young girl named Charlene raises her hand and says, "I have five questions:
1. Why are you using the USA Patriot Act to limit Americans' civil liberties?
2. Why hasn't the U.S. caught Osama bin Laden yet?
3. Why haven't we found the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq?
4. Why did the bell go off 20 minutes early? and
5. Where's Bobby?"
Ashcroft visits a school and talks with the kids, he asks if there are any questions?
A young boy named Bobby raises his hand and says, "I have three questions:
1. Why are you using the USA Patriot Act to limit Americans' civil liberties?
2. Why hasn't the U.S. caught Osama bin Laden yet?
3. Why haven't we found the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq?"
Just then the bell sounds and all the kids run out to the playground. Fifteen minutes later, the kids come back in class and Ashcroft says,
"I'm sorry we were interrupted by the bell. Now, you can all ask me questions."
A young girl named Charlene raises her hand and says, "I have five questions:
1. Why are you using the USA Patriot Act to limit Americans' civil liberties?
2. Why hasn't the U.S. caught Osama bin Laden yet?
3. Why haven't we found the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq?
4. Why did the bell go off 20 minutes early? and
5. Where's Bobby?"
A giggle for y'all..
A woman is visiting her friends...a couple of gay guys raising a young son. She meets the precocious little 5 year old and asks him "What's your name?"
"Tommy" he says.
"Oh...do you know how to spell Tommy?"
"Yeah...T..O..M..M..Y..!" he says.
Suitably impressed she says, "That's very good. Do you have any pets?"
"Yep....my two daddies gave me a cat!" the little one says.
"Oh that's nice...do you know how to spell cat?" she asks.
"Yeah...C..A..T..!" he smiles.
"That's wonderful. What do you like doing for fun?" she asks.
"My two daddies and I like to dance!" he replies.
"Oh...dancing is lots of fun. Do you know how to spell dance?" she asks.
"Yeah..." replies the youngster, jumping to his feet and raising his arms
"..Y..M..C..A.."
"Tommy" he says.
"Oh...do you know how to spell Tommy?"
"Yeah...T..O..M..M..Y..!" he says.
Suitably impressed she says, "That's very good. Do you have any pets?"
"Yep....my two daddies gave me a cat!" the little one says.
"Oh that's nice...do you know how to spell cat?" she asks.
"Yeah...C..A..T..!" he smiles.
"That's wonderful. What do you like doing for fun?" she asks.
"My two daddies and I like to dance!" he replies.
"Oh...dancing is lots of fun. Do you know how to spell dance?" she asks.
"Yeah..." replies the youngster, jumping to his feet and raising his arms
"..Y..M..C..A.."
Bonds has left the planet.
The guy is not human.
San Francisco Giants: 5
Atlanta Braves: 4
What did he do tonight? Nothing more than his second walk-off home run of the season, It came on a 2-1 pitch in the bottom of the 10th inning, breaking a 4-4 tie. It was, of course, a splash hit.
Unreal. Simply unreal.
San Francisco Giants: 5
Atlanta Braves: 4
What did he do tonight? Nothing more than his second walk-off home run of the season, It came on a 2-1 pitch in the bottom of the 10th inning, breaking a 4-4 tie. It was, of course, a splash hit.
Unreal. Simply unreal.