>> The only reason I've made the last few Baycons is because I've been a guest, and that's starting to gnaw on me because I haven't published anything recently.

I have never been published, and I'm a guest.

1) Can you speak entertainingly and well?

2) Are you willing to serve the needs of the convention by using your mighty conversational skills in the service of fendom (if not good . . .) ?

You, sir, rock at both of these.