Our Space Opera Goes Rolling Along . . .

The book I'm working on is a grand political space opera drawn heavily from the life of Charles-Louis Napoléon Bonaparte, Better known to history as Napoleon III. He's an interesting guy, in a tragically doomed sort of way, and his career arc is ripe for the plucking.

So I'm doing this book in bits and pieces. I'm setting up a Scrivener file, doing my research, and setting up my major plot points. I know it's a mess of cliches, but here's the thing. I want to write a novel. I will self-publish it through Amazon or something, and when I hold it in my hands I will treasure it. If I end selling 15 copies to friends and family, so be it. I'm doing this so I can stand up and say that I write science-fiction.

Behind the cut is a pivotal scene. Alois Rohr, nephew of the deposed (and now deceased) Terran Emperor, is trying to start a coup. His agents have been hard at work subverting the command structure of the 3rd Fleet, making sure Rohrists hold the major commands. Alois has hired a squadron of mercenary destroyers to carry him to where the bulk of the 3rd fleet is stationed . . .

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I really want honest feedback. Grammer, style, anyrthing you got; good or bad.