Unbelievable

[gridlore]

I am currently engaged in one of the strangest discussions I have ever seen on the ConJose mailing list, A newbie ask for advise on how to enjoy his first World Con, and the comments flowed into convention etiquette. I mentioned that some people (like me) dislike being hugged without warning, so please ask first.

So far, I've been told that I need to see a shrink, been accused in private mail of being psychopathic, and told that if this person sees me they will hug me, consequences be damned.

Why is it so bloody hard for people to realize and accept that I just do not like being touched? Why do I have to wear a button that says Ask Before Hugging? What does it say about fandom that there is a market for these buttons?

To be clear: I understand and accept inadvertent contact like you get in crowded elevators and queues. Being tapped on the shoulder in a noisy place, is okay. But unless I have invited any other form of contact, please do not assume that I want to hug you! I have very good reasons for this.

Christ, I may get a spiked jacket at this rate.

Comments

[lysana.livejournal.com]

I'm reasonably open to being hugged, but my walls go up when inappropriate kissing is introduced. Some of my reasons are akin to what I recall are some of yours (minus the military trappings), so I understand your problem above and beyond being what seems to be one of the only people of my fannish generation who remembers that social hugging is NOT the norm.

If I'm with people who like doing A-frame hugs in lieu of a handshake or simple nod and I'm good with it, fine. If the people I'm with aren't that touchy-feely, also fine. If it's a mixed group, I keep track of who takes what as best I can. It is plain and simple propriety. Or did I just use a filthy word?